What sort of issues, drama, heartaches, etc., have you encountered in your experiences with Pagan communities? Anecdotes welcome. There's a purpose behind this question, which I'll expand upon later this week.
Too many to list in full here - which is why I'm solitary, and stay off pagan boards as a rule.
My two largest reasons for dissolving my open teaching collective after 4 years (and at an average membership of 25 people plus another dozen "satellites") was the expectation that I would/should be available to every member of the group at any time regardless of the toll on my husband and children, and the fact that anything and everything that came down the pike was MY fault, whether or not I had anything to do with it. (Makes me think it must suck to be a God. You get blamed for everything.)
As an HPS, I gave hours and hours to my community, planning and hosting rituals (usually at my own expense energetically and monitariily) and teaching classes at prices that barely covered materials. So I didn't appreciate people sitting in my living room telling me that I wasn't doing enough - or doing it right - and should be a better high priestess. (My husband didn't appreciate that, either. He promptly threw the offender out of my house and told her not to come back.)
I also came to despise the constant interpersonal dramas triggered by sexual shenanigans amongst members of the group. It's all well and good to be free and easy with the "all acts of love and pleasure" business, but harm none applies to nookie, too. Invariably, the drama would end up on my doorstep with demands that I kick so and so out or talk to so and so. Honestly? It was like highschool with wands and cloaks.
In the end, the benefits of practicing with a large group of magickal folks weren't nearly enough to make up for the bullshit. It took too much time away from my family and from my personal spiritual growth, so after nearly 5 years of teaching and leading community and public rituals, I turned and walked away.
My two largest reasons for dissolving my open teaching collective after 4 years (and at an average membership of 25 people plus another dozen "satellites") was the expectation that I would/should be available to every member of the group at any time regardless of the toll on my husband and children, and the fact that anything and everything that came down the pike was MY fault, whether or not I had anything to do with it. (Makes me think it must suck to be a God. You get blamed for everything.)
As an HPS, I gave hours and hours to my community, planning and hosting rituals (usually at my own expense energetically and monitariily) and teaching classes at prices that barely covered materials. So I didn't appreciate people sitting in my living room telling me that I wasn't doing enough - or doing it right - and should be a better high priestess. (My husband didn't appreciate that, either. He promptly threw the offender out of my house and told her not to come back.)
I also came to despise the constant interpersonal dramas triggered by sexual shenanigans amongst members of the group. It's all well and good to be free and easy with the "all acts of love and pleasure" business, but harm none applies to nookie, too. Invariably, the drama would end up on my doorstep with demands that I kick so and so out or talk to so and so. Honestly? It was like highschool with wands and cloaks.
In the end, the benefits of practicing with a large group of magickal folks weren't nearly enough to make up for the bullshit. It took too much time away from my family and from my personal spiritual growth, so after nearly 5 years of teaching and leading community and public rituals, I turned and walked away.
I've never looked back.
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