stressed
so i'm stressed. i'm always tired and i pritty much just want everything to stop. does'nt seem to be anything different in my life though, i'm still at odds with my family, i'm still pritty much trapped. i can't move out b/c i would like to go to school and not be put into debt, and i do love my family even if what they are doing is next to insane. i now have to limit myself to about an hour maybe two to socialize talking on the internet (this is on the main computer with good internet). i also have to limit myself to about an hour on the phone now, i can't use my car any time soon for personal use ever sence we got it back from the shop. They bame me for it breaking, they say that it's b/c i drive people around all the time and that i drive all the time to places that's not needed (down town/parties/ect.). next they say i'm working to much i work sun all day, mon & fri. for a half day shift and all day on sat. when i first got the job i only worked fri. sat. sun. but they don't remmber when i would work all day on fri. they would rather i do that then half days. they were also peeved that i was getting phone calls after 10, but it's like i can controle people.
friday is when all of this took place when my mom confronted me about how i don't spend enought time reading and doing my work. then either sat or sun i don't remmber any more my dad confronted me about what things i've been doing wrong. as he was talking about how i needed to stop using aim on the computer all i could think was how am i going to talk to wheeler, and i wanted to cry. he saw this and got really irritated and got onto me about crying and how it doesn't help anything, he alwasys gets pissed when i start getting upset and it usualy ends with him yelling at me. but for once that didn't happen. after they talked me down like a teen ager i when to work and just sat in my car crying. they really have taken away my one true means to reach the one thing that makes me happy. what's sad is i know what they're trying to do for me, they want me to do well in school, to bring my gpa up and to get a good job. but they don't realize what they are doing to me. unfortunity i am trapped here and i have to act like i'm happy, i have to hide all my true emotions once again.
well i'm done acting like a preteen wanting to hate their family.
they really have taken away my one true means
friday is when all of this took place when my mom confronted me about how i don't spend enought time reading and doing my work. then either sat or sun i don't remmber any more my dad confronted me about what things i've been doing wrong. as he was talking about how i needed to stop using aim on the computer all i could think was how am i going to talk to wheeler, and i wanted to cry. he saw this and got really irritated and got onto me about crying and how it doesn't help anything, he alwasys gets pissed when i start getting upset and it usualy ends with him yelling at me. but for once that didn't happen. after they talked me down like a teen ager i when to work and just sat in my car crying. they really have taken away my one true means to reach the one thing that makes me happy. what's sad is i know what they're trying to do for me, they want me to do well in school, to bring my gpa up and to get a good job. but they don't realize what they are doing to me. unfortunity i am trapped here and i have to act like i'm happy, i have to hide all my true emotions once again.
well i'm done acting like a preteen wanting to hate their family.
they really have taken away my one true means