(no subject)
Back in Cuernavaca. Fuck I miss people so much, haven't talked to anyone since I left cept Bernie like the day or two after I did. It was nice to talk to her, but I wish I could have more. When I got back I had 3 messages on my cell, 2 from Tim telling me to call him. I tried but no answer, guess hes asleep. Gonna call him tomorrow I guess -- well today. I'm gonna call Bernie when the hour is better to. I'm talking to her now online atleast.
I think I'm going home early. Sometime this week. I can't wait to see people. Ben said we would hang out when I get back to. Nice.
My mom found a car for me to buy. A brand new Honda Civic -- 2004 $98 a month. My dad and her are going to talk about it tomorrow. Exciting.
I'm getting sick of my dad and brother here. 12 hour car ride - understandable. I can't wait to get home...or atleast talk to someone on the phone. I wish I could call Bernie's cell but it would cost her soo much money to call from my dad's house and I don't have a calling card anymore.
I feel sick. I think I am home sick. I just want to be able to call Bernie and be like, lets do something. Have her come over and hang out then go and drive around down these roads that just lead to all the same places...but they are fun anyways. Or I wanna be able to call Tim and tell him to get a ride over, and he can sleep over, and then I'll go there for a few nights. Or just call him at 2am and talk till sunrise...I wanna call Dan and tell him to bike over. I wanna call Ben and tell him to pick me up. I wanna go walking and meet Mandy and hang out all morning. And then theres people I'm glad I'm away from. Glad I'm not seeing, and regret having to go and deal with when I get home. Home...I don't know where my real home is. I don't feel at home here. I don't feel at home at my house in Exeter. I don't feel at home at school, or even anywhere in Rhode Island. I feel at home with certain people like Bernie and Tim... but I am never home. I just don't understand where I belong.
I'm done typing. All I want to do is talk to Tim and feel like I belong. All I want to do is hug Bernie and feel like someone else can actually care so much. All I want to do is go home...
I think I'm going home early. Sometime this week. I can't wait to see people. Ben said we would hang out when I get back to. Nice.
My mom found a car for me to buy. A brand new Honda Civic -- 2004 $98 a month. My dad and her are going to talk about it tomorrow. Exciting.
I'm getting sick of my dad and brother here. 12 hour car ride - understandable. I can't wait to get home...or atleast talk to someone on the phone. I wish I could call Bernie's cell but it would cost her soo much money to call from my dad's house and I don't have a calling card anymore.
I feel sick. I think I am home sick. I just want to be able to call Bernie and be like, lets do something. Have her come over and hang out then go and drive around down these roads that just lead to all the same places...but they are fun anyways. Or I wanna be able to call Tim and tell him to get a ride over, and he can sleep over, and then I'll go there for a few nights. Or just call him at 2am and talk till sunrise...I wanna call Dan and tell him to bike over. I wanna call Ben and tell him to pick me up. I wanna go walking and meet Mandy and hang out all morning. And then theres people I'm glad I'm away from. Glad I'm not seeing, and regret having to go and deal with when I get home. Home...I don't know where my real home is. I don't feel at home here. I don't feel at home at my house in Exeter. I don't feel at home at school, or even anywhere in Rhode Island. I feel at home with certain people like Bernie and Tim... but I am never home. I just don't understand where I belong.
I'm done typing. All I want to do is talk to Tim and feel like I belong. All I want to do is hug Bernie and feel like someone else can actually care so much. All I want to do is go home...