Another night
The myriad infidelities of life, moment by moment, passing time obscuring none. Nay, revealing is time. That which seemed so whole and hale in the breath...becomes an untruth uncovered. What was, was not. So many words, so many perspectives forthcoming, and yet I revel in each. Some known, some unknown, some reshaped and given new meaning with fresh insights... I delight even in the macabre. I regret the unseemly covetousness of my greedy little ears, but would scarce have it otherwise. Feed me. I hunger for every divulgence. I hunger for your soul. I hunger for You. I dare not lift the spoon to my own lips, for this would be an intrusion. The boundaries of our own design and acceptance... aah, they must remain. I am a creature of oaths and bonds and unforsaking remittance to such. I stand a thousand years upon the edge of utter fulfillment, upon the shore of a sea of bliss and every fantasy and dream of desire that a mortal man might create in his lonely heart... yet there I wait, thirsting, unable, unwilling... to break the unbreakable partition of honor and decorum which has been erected under my own watch. By my own hand, this heart is squeezed dry. A husk remains, waiting, like the desert plant awaiting the coming rain. Come, little thundercloud. My heaven is blue but for you. So effortlessly you glide across this empty sky. There is no sun but shines through thee. Can you see me? The ant from high above, not an insect at all. But would I move that heaven and this earth, for you an ant stronger than all others. For you, a Hercules among bugs. Nonsense. I speak in foolish imagery, playing with words where no words suffice. If you do not see what is in my heart, then scant chance for utterance I see. You must know, yet never we speak. I am glorious and contemptible. I am all things and none. In your presence, I am the sun, the moon, the stars... but the gravity is yours. I cannot speak. The apple from the tree upon my dizzy head, I know not what to do. The sweetest fruit, forbidden, I starve in Paradise... with a smile.