I have never been more strange.
I've been reading old conversations with Sean for the past 5hrs. Which is really bad, because I have a test in E&M tomorrow, and I haven't done nearly enough studying. But I was enjoying myself far too much to listen to the admonitions of the 6% of my brain that is reasonable. It's been so peaceful, that I haven't worried about failing the test. I was just reading over the part where he got me interested in this live journal thing. Of course, he quit updating his a long time ago. And he says I'm the one with the dwindling interest. There are some times when I can really appreciate his cynicism, and most other times, it annoys me. It stops being funny.
I am simply astounded at how much I've changed in the last year. I thought only kids had the capacity to grow so much and learn that fast. Of course, their time scales are much different. A year sounds like an incredibly short time to me now. But I suppose the last year has been rather eventful, so maybe it doesn't count.
My time with him is so strange. There are times when I love his company so much, that I know I'd be happy with him. Then other times, I can barely tolerate how he is irritating me. I guess it's not as extreme for me as it used to be. I wonder if it's the same with him.
Gosh, the way I talk about him, you'd never know that he's virtual as opposed to real. Sometimes, I think I place way too much importance on my interaction with him. But why do I do that? Is it because he's so special to me? And if so, why is he so special? Is it because I have enough freedom to imagine him to be what I want him to be? If so, why can't I do that with other people I meet online? Too many questions. I think I'm nit picking. There's at least one simple reality that I can't quite bring into focus. I like him. And that's all there has to be to it. I don't have to make it more or less important than it is (although I rarely make it less.)
I feel the need to write something creative. I think I'll write about myself, as I'd like to see me.
I am simply astounded at how much I've changed in the last year. I thought only kids had the capacity to grow so much and learn that fast. Of course, their time scales are much different. A year sounds like an incredibly short time to me now. But I suppose the last year has been rather eventful, so maybe it doesn't count.
My time with him is so strange. There are times when I love his company so much, that I know I'd be happy with him. Then other times, I can barely tolerate how he is irritating me. I guess it's not as extreme for me as it used to be. I wonder if it's the same with him.
Gosh, the way I talk about him, you'd never know that he's virtual as opposed to real. Sometimes, I think I place way too much importance on my interaction with him. But why do I do that? Is it because he's so special to me? And if so, why is he so special? Is it because I have enough freedom to imagine him to be what I want him to be? If so, why can't I do that with other people I meet online? Too many questions. I think I'm nit picking. There's at least one simple reality that I can't quite bring into focus. I like him. And that's all there has to be to it. I don't have to make it more or less important than it is (although I rarely make it less.)
I feel the need to write something creative. I think I'll write about myself, as I'd like to see me.