UGH.
i look at my stuff on devientART and i am totally digusted with myself.
i dont expect a good art mark for the hsc.
why?
because i am so fucking drained artistically.
i cant produce anything without making at least one mistake and for someone who does pen sketches that is very, very bad.
all you can do is try to make them look like theyre supposed to be there.
i used to take weeks just to complete one and i thought it was a good thing that i was getting quicker...WELL IT'S NOT.
Drawings are out, paintings are in once again, and i have totally missed the boat.
I've given most of my paintings away, not that i have a problem with that but I've completely forgotten who i am in that sense.
I've pen sketched for a while just a for a lark and i really began to enjoy it but a comment was made about my art today and theyre totally fucking right "shes a one trick pony."
all i want to make is something people will be entertained by, but i have conformed to other people's guidelines for so long now i have forgotten what its like to do it because you like it.
i couldve done one massive painting or some other shit for my hsc but no, i had to go and overdo something because no one else was fucking doing it! WHY THE HELL DO I DO THAT?!
whatever happened to me painting?
or my pastel drawings?
theyre fucking gone because i became so immersed in trying to reconnect with my cartooning roots.
at this rate if i ever pick up a paintbrush again, all of whatever i was taught will be completely gone. I'm so sorry to my poor art teacher, Mandy who has taught me, every tuesday afternoon for the past 5 years. I've wasted her time.
FUCK this HSC.
FUCK my stupid pen sketches
FUCK my ineligible handwriting in my art diary
AND FUCK THE FICKLE ART WORLD WHO CANT SEE OUT OF THEIR OWN ARSES!
[/rant]
i dont expect a good art mark for the hsc.
why?
because i am so fucking drained artistically.
i cant produce anything without making at least one mistake and for someone who does pen sketches that is very, very bad.
all you can do is try to make them look like theyre supposed to be there.
i used to take weeks just to complete one and i thought it was a good thing that i was getting quicker...WELL IT'S NOT.
Drawings are out, paintings are in once again, and i have totally missed the boat.
I've given most of my paintings away, not that i have a problem with that but I've completely forgotten who i am in that sense.
I've pen sketched for a while just a for a lark and i really began to enjoy it but a comment was made about my art today and theyre totally fucking right "shes a one trick pony."
all i want to make is something people will be entertained by, but i have conformed to other people's guidelines for so long now i have forgotten what its like to do it because you like it.
i couldve done one massive painting or some other shit for my hsc but no, i had to go and overdo something because no one else was fucking doing it! WHY THE HELL DO I DO THAT?!
whatever happened to me painting?
or my pastel drawings?
theyre fucking gone because i became so immersed in trying to reconnect with my cartooning roots.
at this rate if i ever pick up a paintbrush again, all of whatever i was taught will be completely gone. I'm so sorry to my poor art teacher, Mandy who has taught me, every tuesday afternoon for the past 5 years. I've wasted her time.
FUCK this HSC.
FUCK my stupid pen sketches
FUCK my ineligible handwriting in my art diary
AND FUCK THE FICKLE ART WORLD WHO CANT SEE OUT OF THEIR OWN ARSES!
[/rant]