What the Hell is Wrong With Me?
So, I haven't written on here in, oh... a year. The ads were getting to be too much and I was mostly on FB anyway so I just stopped popping on here. Over the last year lots has happened, but I've found myself feeling fairly isolated from the people that really matter to me. I happened to pop on here out of sheer curiosity RE: the people I used to keep in touch with every day and I started realizing how much I've shut myself out of the world.
Things have been fairly odd lately, not bad odd, not good odd, just... weird. For the most part, my life is amazing. I'm going back to school in a few weeks, I have a full time job that I actually enjoy that I will be able to keep while starting back in school, I moved into my own snazzy ~110 yr old apartment (although it's in the ghetto in Vallejo), things are good. Things are so good, in fact, that I have nothing better to do than wallow in my own misery. Okay, that's a little excessive, I'm not wallowing, but I've been finding it harder and harder to shake myself out of the little rut I've dug myself into in the last month.
I can't quite figure it out, I've tried dating (boring), I've started reading again (less boring, except I'm forcing myself to read things I haven't read like Faulkner which aren't exactly easy reads... effing shotgun blasts of words on a page and it's up to the reader to decipher), I started spoiling my cats with wet food (boring and stinky)... my life feels bland. So, here I am, trying to reconnect with the people that make me the happiest (and the handful of other people that might have started reading this thing at some point).
Hi guys, I miss you. A lot.
My birthday is tomorrow and I could give a shit about celebrating. In fact, I'm incredibly bummed about the whole situation. And stressed. I wanted to call the whole thing off a couple weeks ago, but since I'm the one who was wanting to have the party I don't want to just cancel it on the few people that were planning on showing up... but I'm not feeling celebratory. In fact, I feel very hermit-like. I started realizing I've been letting all sorts of "fluff" people involved in my inner-circle and it was cutting out the people who actually matter to me. So, I'm in the process of culling the herd. Too many people taking up too much of my mental processing time. I'm all sensitive and shit. Really.
Will try to put more on here more. It was nice catching up with all of you (whether you knew I was catching up with you or not LOL)
Things have been fairly odd lately, not bad odd, not good odd, just... weird. For the most part, my life is amazing. I'm going back to school in a few weeks, I have a full time job that I actually enjoy that I will be able to keep while starting back in school, I moved into my own snazzy ~110 yr old apartment (although it's in the ghetto in Vallejo), things are good. Things are so good, in fact, that I have nothing better to do than wallow in my own misery. Okay, that's a little excessive, I'm not wallowing, but I've been finding it harder and harder to shake myself out of the little rut I've dug myself into in the last month.
I can't quite figure it out, I've tried dating (boring), I've started reading again (less boring, except I'm forcing myself to read things I haven't read like Faulkner which aren't exactly easy reads... effing shotgun blasts of words on a page and it's up to the reader to decipher), I started spoiling my cats with wet food (boring and stinky)... my life feels bland. So, here I am, trying to reconnect with the people that make me the happiest (and the handful of other people that might have started reading this thing at some point).
Hi guys, I miss you. A lot.
My birthday is tomorrow and I could give a shit about celebrating. In fact, I'm incredibly bummed about the whole situation. And stressed. I wanted to call the whole thing off a couple weeks ago, but since I'm the one who was wanting to have the party I don't want to just cancel it on the few people that were planning on showing up... but I'm not feeling celebratory. In fact, I feel very hermit-like. I started realizing I've been letting all sorts of "fluff" people involved in my inner-circle and it was cutting out the people who actually matter to me. So, I'm in the process of culling the herd. Too many people taking up too much of my mental processing time. I'm all sensitive and shit. Really.
Will try to put more on here more. It was nice catching up with all of you (whether you knew I was catching up with you or not LOL)