Shaving? Really?
I wrote this a couple days ago on a Facebook Note because I was bored and playing on the internet. I forgot to repost it on here as a few of you have mentioned your amusement at my Craigslist finds...
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As most of you know, I have a slightly odd habit of getting bored and digging through the internet looking for random personal ads. Don't ask me why. I can't say that I'm looking for anything to respond to. But then I saw this particular ad and felt the need to address this heartfelt and sentimental posting.
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/m4w/2035223296.html
"I Would Love to Shave You"
Are you a single female who enjoys being pampered by a very loving single male? I would like to find a sweet sensitive female who enjoys candlelight baths and would like to be gently shaved. I will wash you, apply shaving cream slowly, then gently shave you while you have your legs spread on my shoulders. Hopefully you will find this to be a beautiful trusting experience. I will help you rediscover your sensual self in a safe loving environment. I would love to explore with you, be close friends. My tender fingers guiding you to pleasure, releasing your desires. I am offering my love and my gentleness to you if you are in need of relaxation and pleasure to escape from life's stresses.
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Dear Loving, Gentle Man,
I read your Craigslist ad this afternoon while recovering from a fun-filled weekend with my friends and I had to respond. I feel as though you read my mind and tapped into exactly what I would consider in my search for what would help me unwind and relax after a stressful day.
When I fantasize about the man whom I'm going to allow into my life, there is nothing I am more excited about than having him join me in the bathtub with fire and sharp instruments. I often think about the potential of skipping that awkward first cup of coffee and just jumping straight into the bath. In fact, I could just send you my address and you join me at my house tonight. Maybe you could bring a loofa? Or perhaps one of those electric clippers. After reading your selfless ad, I can see that you have no ulterior motives and want nothing more than to help me relax after a long day. It is VERY relaxing to have a strange man up-close and personal with a razorblade near my *censor bar*.
I can see that you noticed I've had emotionally traumatizing events in my life and am desperate to find someone to help me rediscover the girl that could let herself go. That girl who is ready to trust again. That girl who would meet a man off the internet and have him groom my *censor-bar* in a bathtub while my legs were on his shoulders. Given the size of most bathtubs, and the length of my legs, this would have to be a most trusting experience. I mean, I might end up submerged to achieve the proper angle for the most "relaxing" shave. If I am to be completely honest, I have to admit I'm not a small girl, and my legs are not short. In order for my dream man to properly groom me while in a candlelit bath, we might have to be sitting in a 3 inch deep "soak", or I would require a snorkle. Both are equally arousing in my mind though, and I look forward to finding out how this could be achieved.
I suppose, if we wanted to avoid the snorkle, I could rest my head on the edge of the bathtub. That would result with my hair being rested near all the candles that were set up on the side of the tub, but I would know you only want to be there for me and you will keep me safe. Do you know CPR? And can you bring a fire extinguisher? I want to make sure we can achieve a safe and comfortable enviornment. With hair like mine, you can never be too careful.
Since I have been single, I must admit I have grown fairly lax in the whole "shaving" department. Do you only offer gentle shaving for *censor bar*'s or do you do legs too? I think I could manage my own armpits, as that's fairly quick and can easily be accomplished in the shower, but if you enjoyed shaving legs as well I think we could work out an arrangement. I would even let you sit on the warm side of the bath instead of farthest away from the water spout in the back where it's tepid and shallow. I might be persuaded to let you have the bath pillow for some of the time as well.
I am greatly looking forward to your response. I can see that we are deeply linked already, and I cannot wait to invite you into my house, and my bathtub.
Warmest regards,
Phoebe
PS... please bring bubble bath
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
As most of you know, I have a slightly odd habit of getting bored and digging through the internet looking for random personal ads. Don't ask me why. I can't say that I'm looking for anything to respond to. But then I saw this particular ad and felt the need to address this heartfelt and sentimental posting.
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/m4w/2035223296.html
"I Would Love to Shave You"
Are you a single female who enjoys being pampered by a very loving single male? I would like to find a sweet sensitive female who enjoys candlelight baths and would like to be gently shaved. I will wash you, apply shaving cream slowly, then gently shave you while you have your legs spread on my shoulders. Hopefully you will find this to be a beautiful trusting experience. I will help you rediscover your sensual self in a safe loving environment. I would love to explore with you, be close friends. My tender fingers guiding you to pleasure, releasing your desires. I am offering my love and my gentleness to you if you are in need of relaxation and pleasure to escape from life's stresses.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Loving, Gentle Man,
I read your Craigslist ad this afternoon while recovering from a fun-filled weekend with my friends and I had to respond. I feel as though you read my mind and tapped into exactly what I would consider in my search for what would help me unwind and relax after a stressful day.
When I fantasize about the man whom I'm going to allow into my life, there is nothing I am more excited about than having him join me in the bathtub with fire and sharp instruments. I often think about the potential of skipping that awkward first cup of coffee and just jumping straight into the bath. In fact, I could just send you my address and you join me at my house tonight. Maybe you could bring a loofa? Or perhaps one of those electric clippers. After reading your selfless ad, I can see that you have no ulterior motives and want nothing more than to help me relax after a long day. It is VERY relaxing to have a strange man up-close and personal with a razorblade near my *censor bar*.
I can see that you noticed I've had emotionally traumatizing events in my life and am desperate to find someone to help me rediscover the girl that could let herself go. That girl who is ready to trust again. That girl who would meet a man off the internet and have him groom my *censor-bar* in a bathtub while my legs were on his shoulders. Given the size of most bathtubs, and the length of my legs, this would have to be a most trusting experience. I mean, I might end up submerged to achieve the proper angle for the most "relaxing" shave. If I am to be completely honest, I have to admit I'm not a small girl, and my legs are not short. In order for my dream man to properly groom me while in a candlelit bath, we might have to be sitting in a 3 inch deep "soak", or I would require a snorkle. Both are equally arousing in my mind though, and I look forward to finding out how this could be achieved.
I suppose, if we wanted to avoid the snorkle, I could rest my head on the edge of the bathtub. That would result with my hair being rested near all the candles that were set up on the side of the tub, but I would know you only want to be there for me and you will keep me safe. Do you know CPR? And can you bring a fire extinguisher? I want to make sure we can achieve a safe and comfortable enviornment. With hair like mine, you can never be too careful.
Since I have been single, I must admit I have grown fairly lax in the whole "shaving" department. Do you only offer gentle shaving for *censor bar*'s or do you do legs too? I think I could manage my own armpits, as that's fairly quick and can easily be accomplished in the shower, but if you enjoyed shaving legs as well I think we could work out an arrangement. I would even let you sit on the warm side of the bath instead of farthest away from the water spout in the back where it's tepid and shallow. I might be persuaded to let you have the bath pillow for some of the time as well.
I am greatly looking forward to your response. I can see that we are deeply linked already, and I cannot wait to invite you into my house, and my bathtub.
Warmest regards,
Phoebe
PS... please bring bubble bath