whatever
This is gonna be the worst first entry, but I really couldn't give a shit. This world is shit, my life is shit, so why doesn't it make sense that everyday should be the same? Because it just doesn't. You know I can't seem to go one day without feeling like shit these days. If it's not one thing it's another. Oh, and not to mention, when I am feeling like shit someone just has to rub it in and make it worse. And when I ask them to stop, do they? HELL NO! They just act like they don't even hear me.
It's not like I don't have good days either, because I do. I just have to deal with the three(or more) bad days that seem to follow. I've come to realize that life just kicks you swiftly in the ass one after another until you either decide to give up or deal with it and move on. Well I've decided to just plain ignore it and not give a shit anymore. "What's to be will be," right?
So why care? It's not like anyone else will. Well maybe some will, but not many. It's good to hold on to the ones that do. But even then they may betray you in the end as well. Like ignore you when more important people enter the picture(usually significant others they've only know for maybe 1/4th of the time they've known you). They might even try and steal guys you're interested in or dated (and sometimes even get them) because they can offer so much more than you, like sex. Well I'm not about to be one of those people, and not because of religious reasons but because I won't sleep with a guy just to feel wanted. I want to BE WANTED for MORE than just sexual reasons. But that's really too much to ask these days isn't it?
It's not even like I feel like I'm being picked on either, cause I'm just one out of a billion. There's too many people for anyone person to be singled out. Life just kicks everyone in the ass. No one is more special than another, except maybe in the eyes of humanity. In the end we are all equal, we are all born alone and will die alone. No one knows for sure what awaits us after our bodies cease to function. We can only hope it's good.
I know I must sound cynical right about now, but I really don't care...and anyone who does can just fuck off! I'm not here to be liked, I'm not her to please anyone, I'm here to be myself and be as honest with myself as possible. I won't put up a facade for anyone or be that person everyone wants me to be. I am ME and that's all I'll ever be.
DEAL WITH IT!
It's not like I don't have good days either, because I do. I just have to deal with the three(or more) bad days that seem to follow. I've come to realize that life just kicks you swiftly in the ass one after another until you either decide to give up or deal with it and move on. Well I've decided to just plain ignore it and not give a shit anymore. "What's to be will be," right?
So why care? It's not like anyone else will. Well maybe some will, but not many. It's good to hold on to the ones that do. But even then they may betray you in the end as well. Like ignore you when more important people enter the picture(usually significant others they've only know for maybe 1/4th of the time they've known you). They might even try and steal guys you're interested in or dated (and sometimes even get them) because they can offer so much more than you, like sex. Well I'm not about to be one of those people, and not because of religious reasons but because I won't sleep with a guy just to feel wanted. I want to BE WANTED for MORE than just sexual reasons. But that's really too much to ask these days isn't it?
It's not even like I feel like I'm being picked on either, cause I'm just one out of a billion. There's too many people for anyone person to be singled out. Life just kicks everyone in the ass. No one is more special than another, except maybe in the eyes of humanity. In the end we are all equal, we are all born alone and will die alone. No one knows for sure what awaits us after our bodies cease to function. We can only hope it's good.
I know I must sound cynical right about now, but I really don't care...and anyone who does can just fuck off! I'm not here to be liked, I'm not her to please anyone, I'm here to be myself and be as honest with myself as possible. I won't put up a facade for anyone or be that person everyone wants me to be. I am ME and that's all I'll ever be.
DEAL WITH IT!