Chapter Six
I would love to have feedback from anyone whose got me friended on this piece, as it is my primary literary endeavor for now and the rest of this year. Please be as thorough as you are willing; I'm aware that you all have busy, productive, satisfying lives to attend to.
Things that you should probably know:
Grey is a name, so I may spell it however I like.
This is the sixth chapter of a novel in progress. I've written much more, but this is the part of it I would like you to consider, so there will be no satisfying conclusion. Earlier chapters can be found here:
The First
The Second
The Third
The Fourth
The Fifth
I shamelessly copied and pasted this introduction from the first chapter.
The Sixth: Inertial
“A product of cooperative genius,” said Randy. I press my cheek into Lume, clutch at her shirt, and feel the vibrations of her voice mix with her heartbeat. Her hand plucks at strands of hair hanging down my back.
“…thousands of men, women, and children…starving children, helpless with wide innocent eyes and…” Lume looks down at me, “…tiny women with very long hair and pale skin. Trembling, they were scattered in the woods in picked off not by wild animals, or a psychotic cultists, but a tongue-devouring monster. The monster made no sound, only ripping the tongues from those who spoke or cried out.”
I rise and fall with each breath Lume takes. Randy’s voice comes from the front of the car.
“What were a thousand starving children and…” I see his eyes watching me in the rearview mirror. “…tiny women doing in the forest?”
“Dragged from their beds by the oily tentacles of the tongue devouring beast!” declares Lume.
“Was her tongue devoured?”
I lock eyes with Lume. Without looking away, she says “No.”
“She hasn’t opened her mouth.”
“She has my eyes.”
“And you’ve got her tongue?”
“No.” Lume’s confident voice hums through me. She twists strands of my hair into knots.
“Well…?”
“She cannot speak from the trauma of witnessing a thousand tongues torn from their mouths. The fear of the beast who did it, who still-“
“-not a stupid horror-“ interrupts Randy.
“-roams the land!” finishes Lume fiercely.
Silence with an edge cuts between them. The car speeds through the silent night. Thump. Thump.
“Is she asleep?” asks Randy, at last.
“No. She’s listening to my heartbeat.”
“Why?”
“Maybe it will stop beating. Pull over.”
Randy pulls the car over to the side of the road without protest. Lume hands me a black leather coat twice as big as it should be from the front seat of the car.
“We’re going outside, where the cold will get you,” she says, pulling the coat around me. She’s only wearing a T-Shirt. I touch the jacket, and then touch her shoulder.
“I don’t need protection from the cold. I am the cold.”
Lume forces the car door open. I close my eyes against the stinging wind. It tosses my hair from my eyes and streams it out behind me. My hair gets caught in the car door when Lume tries to shut it. She has to open the door again, so I can pull long strands of hair out and hold them against myself to stop them from trailing out behind me like a kite.
Randy waits in the car while Lume leads me away from the road. She slides down a steep bank of loose rocks. She rides the growing wave of rocks down like a surfer, till she reaches flat dirt and the rocks and dust spread in a pool around her.
It could be a sport. Slope surfing. Mountain surfing. That’s called skiing. Not if there isn’t any snow. Then it’s avalanche surfing.
“Grey! Focus!” Lume hollers up at me. I take my first step onto the slope. Some gravel is knocked loose, but my footing holds. I can’t surf like Lume, so I’ll take baby steps.
A rock to my left looks steady, but it rolls away the moment my foot touches it.
“To your right, Grey!”
I look around my right foot, but I see nowhere to put my foot.
“It’s right there. Yes…no…a little to your right…there!”
I see only darkness there. There’s no moon tonight. I shake my head at Lume.
“There! Put your foot down!”
I put my foot down into nothing, sending me stumbling into a fall. Lume catches me under the arms and slows my crash into a gentle touchdown.
“I appreciate your faith in me. As you’ve just proven, it is not unfounded.”
I follow Lume into the trees. She walks slowly so I can keep up. Crickets chirp, sticks snap underfoot, and bushes rustle. I feel clumsy and loud. I hold my hair clutched against me, for comfort as much as to stop it from catching on things.
I wonder if someone could pick me up by my hair alone. Would it support my weight? I have a lot of hair, and there’s not a lot of me. If I was a criminal, maybe they could hang me without a rope.
My lungs burn and my legs feel like they are made of rubber. The ground is at an incline still. Lume is stopped further up, waiting for me again. She watches my slow progress for a moment before walking back to me.
“May I carry you? We’re only about halfway there. Randy has fallen asleep listening to some talk show on the radio, but when he wakes up in a few hours he’ll be upset if we’re not back.”
I nod gratefully. As she lifts me up, she says, “You don’t need to be strong. I am your strength.” I lay my head against her shoulder and watch the trees fly past. I think of when I saw myself in the mirror two days ago, at Jack’s house. I had been confused, but…my mind seemed…clearer then. Things hadn’t been moving so quickly.
I’d been upset because I’d thought I was stronger than the person I saw in the mirror. Maybe the mirror defeated me. Maybe I hadn’t been the person in the mirror until I saw her. Maybe once I saw her, I gave up, and became her. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. But things hadn’t moved so quickly back then.
“We’re here.” Lume sets me down.
A wall of rocks squats in front of me. It’s taller than me but not as tall as Lume. It’s just big river rocks, stacked and balanced on one another. I don’t see any trees rising behind it, like there are on our side of the wall.
“This is your wall, Grey, and it’s the problem.” Lume paces in front of the wall, but it’s an awkward pacing walk, and again I notice how she holds herself so strangely, like her body is only a puppet.
“This wall is your obstacle. Every person who has ever lived desires what lies on the other side of this wall, though not every person will admit it. Few people have found this wall, and none have overcome it.
I’m lucky. I’ve just found this wall, and I believe I can overcome it. I think others have made the mistake of trying to destroy this wall.”
Lume pushes a rock off the top of the wall. I hear it hit the ground on the other side.
“If you destroy this wall, you will destroy what it protects. That is what I believe. But I know another way. May I show you?”
When I nod, Lume picks me up again, and using one of the rocks on the bottom of the wall for a foothold, she steps over the wall.
It’s a cliff. We’re standing on a ledge only a foot wide between the wall and a twenty-foot drop into a lake. The wall was there to protect us.
Lume sits down, legs dangling off the edge. In her lap, I lean back against her.
“It’s terrifying, but you get used to the idea.”
Lume picks a rock off the ground. It’s the one she pushed off the wall. She rolls it around her palm for a moment before throwing it. It arcs through the air into the lake. I remember the phrase “the shortest distance between two points is a straight line”, and then someone counters, saying, “The most beautiful distance between two points is a curve.”
What if thrown objects weren’t beautiful? Imagine if they went in a straight line, then suddenly went straight down at a ninety-degree angle, like they’d hit an invisible wall. It would make it easy to build real walls like the one behind us. You’d just put down your invisible wall and throw rocks at it, and they would go straight down on top of each other like it was Tetris.
“You’re amazing. You’re amazing because I could throw that rock a thousand times, and you wouldn’t get tired of it. It’s child-like, isn’t it? You’d never think it was growing dull and become an adult. But you are an adult, and that’s why you’re amazing. Maybe that’s why you’re so small, like a child.
Let’s change the subject. What if the big bang theory of creation is true? The universe is essentially an explosion. And the earth, and life, and you and I, are just particles in this massive expanding fireball of a universe.
It would have to be just another cycle. Cycle of life, cycle of nature, cycle of the universe. There would be the great implosion one day, and then another big bang. And if the big bang happened exactly the same way, then planet earth would happen the same way, and you and I would be here again, doing the same thing. And we’d do it again the big bang after that.
We must choose our activities wisely, because we’ll be repeating them for all eternity. And that makes us immortal.”
Lume jumps off the cliff.
Things that you should probably know:
Grey is a name, so I may spell it however I like.
This is the sixth chapter of a novel in progress. I've written much more, but this is the part of it I would like you to consider, so there will be no satisfying conclusion. Earlier chapters can be found here:
The First
The Second
The Third
The Fourth
The Fifth
I shamelessly copied and pasted this introduction from the first chapter.
The Sixth: Inertial
“A product of cooperative genius,” said Randy. I press my cheek into Lume, clutch at her shirt, and feel the vibrations of her voice mix with her heartbeat. Her hand plucks at strands of hair hanging down my back.
“…thousands of men, women, and children…starving children, helpless with wide innocent eyes and…” Lume looks down at me, “…tiny women with very long hair and pale skin. Trembling, they were scattered in the woods in picked off not by wild animals, or a psychotic cultists, but a tongue-devouring monster. The monster made no sound, only ripping the tongues from those who spoke or cried out.”
I rise and fall with each breath Lume takes. Randy’s voice comes from the front of the car.
“What were a thousand starving children and…” I see his eyes watching me in the rearview mirror. “…tiny women doing in the forest?”
“Dragged from their beds by the oily tentacles of the tongue devouring beast!” declares Lume.
“Was her tongue devoured?”
I lock eyes with Lume. Without looking away, she says “No.”
“She hasn’t opened her mouth.”
“She has my eyes.”
“And you’ve got her tongue?”
“No.” Lume’s confident voice hums through me. She twists strands of my hair into knots.
“Well…?”
“She cannot speak from the trauma of witnessing a thousand tongues torn from their mouths. The fear of the beast who did it, who still-“
“-not a stupid horror-“ interrupts Randy.
“-roams the land!” finishes Lume fiercely.
Silence with an edge cuts between them. The car speeds through the silent night. Thump. Thump.
“Is she asleep?” asks Randy, at last.
“No. She’s listening to my heartbeat.”
“Why?”
“Maybe it will stop beating. Pull over.”
Randy pulls the car over to the side of the road without protest. Lume hands me a black leather coat twice as big as it should be from the front seat of the car.
“We’re going outside, where the cold will get you,” she says, pulling the coat around me. She’s only wearing a T-Shirt. I touch the jacket, and then touch her shoulder.
“I don’t need protection from the cold. I am the cold.”
Lume forces the car door open. I close my eyes against the stinging wind. It tosses my hair from my eyes and streams it out behind me. My hair gets caught in the car door when Lume tries to shut it. She has to open the door again, so I can pull long strands of hair out and hold them against myself to stop them from trailing out behind me like a kite.
Randy waits in the car while Lume leads me away from the road. She slides down a steep bank of loose rocks. She rides the growing wave of rocks down like a surfer, till she reaches flat dirt and the rocks and dust spread in a pool around her.
It could be a sport. Slope surfing. Mountain surfing. That’s called skiing. Not if there isn’t any snow. Then it’s avalanche surfing.
“Grey! Focus!” Lume hollers up at me. I take my first step onto the slope. Some gravel is knocked loose, but my footing holds. I can’t surf like Lume, so I’ll take baby steps.
A rock to my left looks steady, but it rolls away the moment my foot touches it.
“To your right, Grey!”
I look around my right foot, but I see nowhere to put my foot.
“It’s right there. Yes…no…a little to your right…there!”
I see only darkness there. There’s no moon tonight. I shake my head at Lume.
“There! Put your foot down!”
I put my foot down into nothing, sending me stumbling into a fall. Lume catches me under the arms and slows my crash into a gentle touchdown.
“I appreciate your faith in me. As you’ve just proven, it is not unfounded.”
I follow Lume into the trees. She walks slowly so I can keep up. Crickets chirp, sticks snap underfoot, and bushes rustle. I feel clumsy and loud. I hold my hair clutched against me, for comfort as much as to stop it from catching on things.
I wonder if someone could pick me up by my hair alone. Would it support my weight? I have a lot of hair, and there’s not a lot of me. If I was a criminal, maybe they could hang me without a rope.
My lungs burn and my legs feel like they are made of rubber. The ground is at an incline still. Lume is stopped further up, waiting for me again. She watches my slow progress for a moment before walking back to me.
“May I carry you? We’re only about halfway there. Randy has fallen asleep listening to some talk show on the radio, but when he wakes up in a few hours he’ll be upset if we’re not back.”
I nod gratefully. As she lifts me up, she says, “You don’t need to be strong. I am your strength.” I lay my head against her shoulder and watch the trees fly past. I think of when I saw myself in the mirror two days ago, at Jack’s house. I had been confused, but…my mind seemed…clearer then. Things hadn’t been moving so quickly.
I’d been upset because I’d thought I was stronger than the person I saw in the mirror. Maybe the mirror defeated me. Maybe I hadn’t been the person in the mirror until I saw her. Maybe once I saw her, I gave up, and became her. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. But things hadn’t moved so quickly back then.
“We’re here.” Lume sets me down.
A wall of rocks squats in front of me. It’s taller than me but not as tall as Lume. It’s just big river rocks, stacked and balanced on one another. I don’t see any trees rising behind it, like there are on our side of the wall.
“This is your wall, Grey, and it’s the problem.” Lume paces in front of the wall, but it’s an awkward pacing walk, and again I notice how she holds herself so strangely, like her body is only a puppet.
“This wall is your obstacle. Every person who has ever lived desires what lies on the other side of this wall, though not every person will admit it. Few people have found this wall, and none have overcome it.
I’m lucky. I’ve just found this wall, and I believe I can overcome it. I think others have made the mistake of trying to destroy this wall.”
Lume pushes a rock off the top of the wall. I hear it hit the ground on the other side.
“If you destroy this wall, you will destroy what it protects. That is what I believe. But I know another way. May I show you?”
When I nod, Lume picks me up again, and using one of the rocks on the bottom of the wall for a foothold, she steps over the wall.
It’s a cliff. We’re standing on a ledge only a foot wide between the wall and a twenty-foot drop into a lake. The wall was there to protect us.
Lume sits down, legs dangling off the edge. In her lap, I lean back against her.
“It’s terrifying, but you get used to the idea.”
Lume picks a rock off the ground. It’s the one she pushed off the wall. She rolls it around her palm for a moment before throwing it. It arcs through the air into the lake. I remember the phrase “the shortest distance between two points is a straight line”, and then someone counters, saying, “The most beautiful distance between two points is a curve.”
What if thrown objects weren’t beautiful? Imagine if they went in a straight line, then suddenly went straight down at a ninety-degree angle, like they’d hit an invisible wall. It would make it easy to build real walls like the one behind us. You’d just put down your invisible wall and throw rocks at it, and they would go straight down on top of each other like it was Tetris.
“You’re amazing. You’re amazing because I could throw that rock a thousand times, and you wouldn’t get tired of it. It’s child-like, isn’t it? You’d never think it was growing dull and become an adult. But you are an adult, and that’s why you’re amazing. Maybe that’s why you’re so small, like a child.
Let’s change the subject. What if the big bang theory of creation is true? The universe is essentially an explosion. And the earth, and life, and you and I, are just particles in this massive expanding fireball of a universe.
It would have to be just another cycle. Cycle of life, cycle of nature, cycle of the universe. There would be the great implosion one day, and then another big bang. And if the big bang happened exactly the same way, then planet earth would happen the same way, and you and I would be here again, doing the same thing. And we’d do it again the big bang after that.
We must choose our activities wisely, because we’ll be repeating them for all eternity. And that makes us immortal.”
Lume jumps off the cliff.