Bump on the nose
For months I've had this thing on my nose... Rudolph like, flaming into the sunset, lighting the way for all who follow. Most of you who have seen me have noticed it, but you've been to gracious to say anything. I knew it was there, and I appreciate you not making me answer, "I know there's a huge thing on my face. I call him Andrew. He likes butterscotch."
So enough was enough, yesterday I made an appointment to go get the thing cut off. The appointment was at 2:30 in the p.m.
In the between time, you all know how the human brain can run wild. I was certainly more aware than I could ever convey that there was a good chance that there could be a little cancerous node on my nose... right there under my eye, on the left side of my face... cancer...
Cancer on your face will make you think, shoot even the potential of cancer on your face will make you think. I've got a son coming for crying out loud. I can't leave now. I started thinking about the things I hadn't done but wanted to do. I thought about all the things I had done, all the memories and good times and joyous occasions.
So the lady today put a needle in the spot, took out the scissors and cut a section off of my face. Next week I'll know the results of the biopsy. Now... I don't want to be over dramatic here. Chances are that even if it's cancerous, it's called Basal cell and if I never ever touched it, my nose would eventually go away but nothing more serious than that. I've literally talked to scores of people in the past few days who have had worse things than this who are alive and kicking. There's nothing to be worried about... for real.
But let me just tell you, right now as I write this, I feel like I've been given a new lease on life. I feel like I've been given a second chance. The prospect of mortality will do that. Even if it's only a slight chance, the thought of it will make your head spin. I realize how much of my life has been spent waiting for something to happen. I realize how many times I've majored in the minors. I realize how many times I've mistreated the ones I love for selfish, or even just stupid reasons.
The leaves blowing across my window pane, dead brown and crispy, blowing toward the spring that's coming tomorrow. With that, life, hope, adventure. I don't want to waste any more time. I don't mean going to party and being reckless. Let me assure you, I've already done all of that at a degree that most people don't walk away from. I've been there and with an intensity and fury that sometimes makes even me cringe. And I walked away from it because it was lacking. What's brought me joy in life is... life. I wake up in the morning and get to see things that I've never seen before. I have to go looking for them sometimes... but that's part of life too.
I'm going to be alright. My nose will be deformed for awhile, but it was deformed for awhile anyway. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up next to a woman that I cherish whose carrying my baby. I know people who I admire and I believe there are probably some people who admire something about me. That's worth living for. My words on this day... don't waste your life chasing something that's fleeting. Life is meant to build and build and build until one day you will get the chance to lay on your death bed and smile at the crescendo that's been building to this day. Then, and only then, will we truly discover the final ramifications of the decisions we make today. Its' up to us. It's up to you.
Live well my friends.
So enough was enough, yesterday I made an appointment to go get the thing cut off. The appointment was at 2:30 in the p.m.
In the between time, you all know how the human brain can run wild. I was certainly more aware than I could ever convey that there was a good chance that there could be a little cancerous node on my nose... right there under my eye, on the left side of my face... cancer...
Cancer on your face will make you think, shoot even the potential of cancer on your face will make you think. I've got a son coming for crying out loud. I can't leave now. I started thinking about the things I hadn't done but wanted to do. I thought about all the things I had done, all the memories and good times and joyous occasions.
So the lady today put a needle in the spot, took out the scissors and cut a section off of my face. Next week I'll know the results of the biopsy. Now... I don't want to be over dramatic here. Chances are that even if it's cancerous, it's called Basal cell and if I never ever touched it, my nose would eventually go away but nothing more serious than that. I've literally talked to scores of people in the past few days who have had worse things than this who are alive and kicking. There's nothing to be worried about... for real.
But let me just tell you, right now as I write this, I feel like I've been given a new lease on life. I feel like I've been given a second chance. The prospect of mortality will do that. Even if it's only a slight chance, the thought of it will make your head spin. I realize how much of my life has been spent waiting for something to happen. I realize how many times I've majored in the minors. I realize how many times I've mistreated the ones I love for selfish, or even just stupid reasons.
The leaves blowing across my window pane, dead brown and crispy, blowing toward the spring that's coming tomorrow. With that, life, hope, adventure. I don't want to waste any more time. I don't mean going to party and being reckless. Let me assure you, I've already done all of that at a degree that most people don't walk away from. I've been there and with an intensity and fury that sometimes makes even me cringe. And I walked away from it because it was lacking. What's brought me joy in life is... life. I wake up in the morning and get to see things that I've never seen before. I have to go looking for them sometimes... but that's part of life too.
I'm going to be alright. My nose will be deformed for awhile, but it was deformed for awhile anyway. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up next to a woman that I cherish whose carrying my baby. I know people who I admire and I believe there are probably some people who admire something about me. That's worth living for. My words on this day... don't waste your life chasing something that's fleeting. Life is meant to build and build and build until one day you will get the chance to lay on your death bed and smile at the crescendo that's been building to this day. Then, and only then, will we truly discover the final ramifications of the decisions we make today. Its' up to us. It's up to you.
Live well my friends.