x-mas
so lauren and i have been dating for 3.5 years now (HOLY SHIT THATS A LONG TIME), and christmas is a really big deal to her and her family. me, i tend to get grouchy, pissy, irritated, and just generally not all that much fun to be around. however i feel that i have done better this year than say last year. last year was a real friggan walk in the park, ask lauren. although as i said, i think this year i handled things a little better, despite the story im about to tell.
anyway, every x-mas day we go over to her grandparents house, with her whole family, drink wine, converse, and eat a great meal prepared by her grandma (now mind you this is a grandma that can cook, not one of those betty crocker box cooking grandma's. she makes this shit from scratch.) pork roast, spinich cassarole, rice pilaf, stuffing, gravey...you get the point.
anyway after dinner, i take it upon myself to start washing the dishes, like i do every year, or at least have done the past few. hell its the least i could do.
and then comes the gift giving. their family is so large that they pick names out of a hat and give a gift to that one person whose name they picked. so FINALLY after 3 years of hard work, and dishes, im finally honored to be in the family gift pool.
i pulled her mother, and got her a really nice frech press coffee maker, since she and i share a large admiration for coffee, i figured that she would be tickled pink, and i was right. so anyway, lauren is sitting by the presents and starts handing them out. then i guess that she noticed there there wasnt one for me, and for osme reason she kept her trap shut about it, that is until....about a half hour later im sitting there wondering who pulled my name out of the hat. then come the questions "drew, where is your gift? drew who had you? what did they get ya?" and im looking around shrugging my shoulders. slowly realizing that once again in my life, i have fallen through the cracks.
and if i could only convey all that thoughts that were going through my head. here is just a cross section....."was i wrong, and my name was left out? did a few people trade and somehow i got lost in the shuffle? did two people somehow screw up and get gifts for the same person, instead of two different people? is everyone here? because if someones not here maybe they didnt bring it....yeah everyones here, and yeah everyone i saw come in the door was carrying something tied with ribbons and bows....well what the fuck?!?? man this sucks ass, i kinda just wanna go sit in the car so we can hurry up and get the fuck outta here, so i can be pissed the whole 2 hour drive back to ithaca" (yes at that point i was actually looking foreward to being pissed off in the car for two hours...rather odd i know) and about that time her brother (he and i have been best friends for 15 years incase you lost count), puts on his coat, goes out to his car, and comes back in. then i started to put two and two together
so he comes in holding something in his hand that looks like a piece of shit, literally. and then he proceeds to throw a frozen $3 gas station cigar at my head and says "merry christmas buddy". im sitting there saying "wow thanks for the....cigar, jay" while im thinking to myself...wow it really does look like a piece of shit, it even has a little skinny bit at the end, like where your butt cheeks would pinch off the turd.
now i'm assuming he bought it to go with the $35 bottle of burbon, that lauren got him for christmas. and that he never intended to give it to his best friend for christmas. hell he couldnt stop talking about what i gave him. anyone who had any musical knowledge he would start talking their ear off about what i got for him. but sadly i couldnt do the same. all i could do was look down in my lap at this turd of a cigar.
christ it would have been better if he drew a card in crayon and stuck a nug inside it, rather than throwing an unwrapped frozen cheap ass cigar at my head. it really hurt, that he didnt take the time to spread any christmas joy, instead he horded it all to himself. simply because he knew that it was comming. he knew that everyone would shower him with trinkets and baubles all the while only thinking about himself, and not caring or thinking about anyone else.
i didnt see him give his loving sister anything. i also didnt see him give his loving mother anything. or his grandparents who fed him, and gave him gas money so he could get back to Geneva. im not sure which is the case but im betting its one of the two.. maybe he just decided that he couldnt give any gifts this year due to being broke, or that he just flat out wasnt giving gifts this year due to being broke, but i know that it revolved around being broke. (however he did have money for tobacco and refer) now ive been broke basically since lauren and i moved in together (ask her, she'll tell ya). and i managed to get 2 gifts a pice for 6 different people, and only spending $100 in the process.
so what did i do about it you ask?? I stewed, and felt like i was in a crock pot. covered, confined, confused, crushed, condescending, crappy, cranky and corrosive ...i became quite angry, and didnt say more than 2 words to anyone, for the last hour we were there, all with a smile on my face which made me even more angry to have to put up a front like that...because lets face it, no one wants friction at a holiday family gathering. let alone between two people who have been very close friends for the past 15 years. and especially over something as trivial as a gift.
so for the last hour lauren and jason seemed to disappear, and i was half hoping that she was off tucked away somewhere giving him a piece of her mind. but only later did i find out that she and he were in one of the bedrooms, talking to their father on the her cell phone. and finally when they resurfaced after what seemed like an eternity, i thought that we were finally able to get the fuck outta there, but alas no. jason was still yapping on her phone, and proceeded to, for the next 10-15 minutes, while we gathered our things. actually while i was waiting for them i put all the stuff in the car, and moved the car out of the driveway, partially because i needed to get out of the house, and partially because we were blocking other cars in the driveway, who were leaving.
and heres the kicker....as we were walking out to go to the car, jason comes out with us, and offers US, not me, but US a "nug for the ride home". now to me this just adds insult to injury and heres why. from my point of view he knew that he had fucked up. so why would someone who knows that they have already fucked up ASK if you wanted something, rather than just GIVE it to you. a simple "sorry man, i was really short on cash this year, here take this". rather than "would you like this for the ride home?" to me thats the same as asking someone if they would like a piece of pie on national pie eating day, rather than just giving them the piece of pie....on national pie eating day
the last thing i want to do is to come of sounding bitchy because "whaaaaaaaa i didnt get a present whaaaaaa" and sounding like a 3 year old. but god damn it the whole point of giving gifts is the thought that is put into it. and with my "gift" there was no thought what so ever. so i guess the whole point of this rant is to convey that i was very hurt, upset and most of all disappointed by his actions on christmas day.
blog'd!!
anyway, every x-mas day we go over to her grandparents house, with her whole family, drink wine, converse, and eat a great meal prepared by her grandma (now mind you this is a grandma that can cook, not one of those betty crocker box cooking grandma's. she makes this shit from scratch.) pork roast, spinich cassarole, rice pilaf, stuffing, gravey...you get the point.
anyway after dinner, i take it upon myself to start washing the dishes, like i do every year, or at least have done the past few. hell its the least i could do.
and then comes the gift giving. their family is so large that they pick names out of a hat and give a gift to that one person whose name they picked. so FINALLY after 3 years of hard work, and dishes, im finally honored to be in the family gift pool.
i pulled her mother, and got her a really nice frech press coffee maker, since she and i share a large admiration for coffee, i figured that she would be tickled pink, and i was right. so anyway, lauren is sitting by the presents and starts handing them out. then i guess that she noticed there there wasnt one for me, and for osme reason she kept her trap shut about it, that is until....about a half hour later im sitting there wondering who pulled my name out of the hat. then come the questions "drew, where is your gift? drew who had you? what did they get ya?" and im looking around shrugging my shoulders. slowly realizing that once again in my life, i have fallen through the cracks.
and if i could only convey all that thoughts that were going through my head. here is just a cross section....."was i wrong, and my name was left out? did a few people trade and somehow i got lost in the shuffle? did two people somehow screw up and get gifts for the same person, instead of two different people? is everyone here? because if someones not here maybe they didnt bring it....yeah everyones here, and yeah everyone i saw come in the door was carrying something tied with ribbons and bows....well what the fuck?!?? man this sucks ass, i kinda just wanna go sit in the car so we can hurry up and get the fuck outta here, so i can be pissed the whole 2 hour drive back to ithaca" (yes at that point i was actually looking foreward to being pissed off in the car for two hours...rather odd i know) and about that time her brother (he and i have been best friends for 15 years incase you lost count), puts on his coat, goes out to his car, and comes back in. then i started to put two and two together
so he comes in holding something in his hand that looks like a piece of shit, literally. and then he proceeds to throw a frozen $3 gas station cigar at my head and says "merry christmas buddy". im sitting there saying "wow thanks for the....cigar, jay" while im thinking to myself...wow it really does look like a piece of shit, it even has a little skinny bit at the end, like where your butt cheeks would pinch off the turd.
now i'm assuming he bought it to go with the $35 bottle of burbon, that lauren got him for christmas. and that he never intended to give it to his best friend for christmas. hell he couldnt stop talking about what i gave him. anyone who had any musical knowledge he would start talking their ear off about what i got for him. but sadly i couldnt do the same. all i could do was look down in my lap at this turd of a cigar.
christ it would have been better if he drew a card in crayon and stuck a nug inside it, rather than throwing an unwrapped frozen cheap ass cigar at my head. it really hurt, that he didnt take the time to spread any christmas joy, instead he horded it all to himself. simply because he knew that it was comming. he knew that everyone would shower him with trinkets and baubles all the while only thinking about himself, and not caring or thinking about anyone else.
i didnt see him give his loving sister anything. i also didnt see him give his loving mother anything. or his grandparents who fed him, and gave him gas money so he could get back to Geneva. im not sure which is the case but im betting its one of the two.. maybe he just decided that he couldnt give any gifts this year due to being broke, or that he just flat out wasnt giving gifts this year due to being broke, but i know that it revolved around being broke. (however he did have money for tobacco and refer) now ive been broke basically since lauren and i moved in together (ask her, she'll tell ya). and i managed to get 2 gifts a pice for 6 different people, and only spending $100 in the process.
so what did i do about it you ask?? I stewed, and felt like i was in a crock pot. covered, confined, confused, crushed, condescending, crappy, cranky and corrosive ...i became quite angry, and didnt say more than 2 words to anyone, for the last hour we were there, all with a smile on my face which made me even more angry to have to put up a front like that...because lets face it, no one wants friction at a holiday family gathering. let alone between two people who have been very close friends for the past 15 years. and especially over something as trivial as a gift.
so for the last hour lauren and jason seemed to disappear, and i was half hoping that she was off tucked away somewhere giving him a piece of her mind. but only later did i find out that she and he were in one of the bedrooms, talking to their father on the her cell phone. and finally when they resurfaced after what seemed like an eternity, i thought that we were finally able to get the fuck outta there, but alas no. jason was still yapping on her phone, and proceeded to, for the next 10-15 minutes, while we gathered our things. actually while i was waiting for them i put all the stuff in the car, and moved the car out of the driveway, partially because i needed to get out of the house, and partially because we were blocking other cars in the driveway, who were leaving.
and heres the kicker....as we were walking out to go to the car, jason comes out with us, and offers US, not me, but US a "nug for the ride home". now to me this just adds insult to injury and heres why. from my point of view he knew that he had fucked up. so why would someone who knows that they have already fucked up ASK if you wanted something, rather than just GIVE it to you. a simple "sorry man, i was really short on cash this year, here take this". rather than "would you like this for the ride home?" to me thats the same as asking someone if they would like a piece of pie on national pie eating day, rather than just giving them the piece of pie....on national pie eating day
the last thing i want to do is to come of sounding bitchy because "whaaaaaaaa i didnt get a present whaaaaaa" and sounding like a 3 year old. but god damn it the whole point of giving gifts is the thought that is put into it. and with my "gift" there was no thought what so ever. so i guess the whole point of this rant is to convey that i was very hurt, upset and most of all disappointed by his actions on christmas day.
blog'd!!