LJ becomes addicting
LJ becomes very addicting,
and seeing as I haven't done a serious rant on a site FOUNDED on the premise of ranting, i think I'll give a try at it, because i just happen to be in that sort of mood...
and as soon as I write that down I loose all courage to actually rant OTL.
...I don't want to say anything on here that I will regret, or find stupid for saying as soon as I write it down. So I'm just going to be as vague as possible. I don't expect anyone to make sense of this, or to even take the time to read it, I just had to get it off my chest somehow.
And livejournal is a super convent way to quietly rant.
I've gone back and deleted two rants that I've completely typed out on here. Just shows how confident i am with what I'm trying to say. OTL
... for some reason lately I've been feeling completely OFF. I can't even describe WHAT I'm feeling, all I know is that I've never felt like it before.
And it's really scaring me, because part of me sort of likes it, but the other half is terrified. And I'm really scared of what might happen next, and if I'll even hear anything about it before its too late...
I find myself anxiously waiting for anything she might send me. Any news at all on how shes doing- even if i know I wont be able to do anything to help it. Or change it.
And sometimes it feels like her only motive in life is to make me feel BAD for her.
And I am just completely through with feeling sorry for her, and myself.
There are so many other things that are more important, and I've really only started to realize that recently with the help of someone really special to me.
But theres this horrible thing about me that
When I get close to someone
I pull away, because I end up being terrified
Of loosing it in the first place.
And I doubt myself excessively because i have such little confidence in myself.
And jkfxxbkjfdhgkjfdhgkjdfhkj I cant believe ill end up posting this,
But i just had to get it off my chest.
Even if someone ends up reading this, don't comment. And don't worry about me.
Some things in life just take more time to settle out.
OTL WHY DO I GET SO FRANTIC WHEN IM NERVOUS.
and seeing as I haven't done a serious rant on a site FOUNDED on the premise of ranting, i think I'll give a try at it, because i just happen to be in that sort of mood...
and as soon as I write that down I loose all courage to actually rant OTL.
...I don't want to say anything on here that I will regret, or find stupid for saying as soon as I write it down. So I'm just going to be as vague as possible. I don't expect anyone to make sense of this, or to even take the time to read it, I just had to get it off my chest somehow.
And livejournal is a super convent way to quietly rant.
I've gone back and deleted two rants that I've completely typed out on here. Just shows how confident i am with what I'm trying to say. OTL
... for some reason lately I've been feeling completely OFF. I can't even describe WHAT I'm feeling, all I know is that I've never felt like it before.
And it's really scaring me, because part of me sort of likes it, but the other half is terrified. And I'm really scared of what might happen next, and if I'll even hear anything about it before its too late...
I find myself anxiously waiting for anything she might send me. Any news at all on how shes doing- even if i know I wont be able to do anything to help it. Or change it.
And sometimes it feels like her only motive in life is to make me feel BAD for her.
And I am just completely through with feeling sorry for her, and myself.
There are so many other things that are more important, and I've really only started to realize that recently with the help of someone really special to me.
But theres this horrible thing about me that
When I get close to someone
I pull away, because I end up being terrified
Of loosing it in the first place.
And I doubt myself excessively because i have such little confidence in myself.
And jkfxxbkjfdhgkjfdhgkjdfhkj I cant believe ill end up posting this,
But i just had to get it off my chest.
Even if someone ends up reading this, don't comment. And don't worry about me.
Some things in life just take more time to settle out.
OTL WHY DO I GET SO FRANTIC WHEN IM NERVOUS.