Gratitude
[relearning gratitude]
What I was told about gratitude
is to say 'thank you' for gifts
and graciousness, to be sure to
let others know how you appreciate
their time and effort and company.
What no one told me was how to
turn that gratefulness inward,
how to recognize what of mine
deserves that wonder & warmth--
not in impatience or bitterness
while waiting for somebody else
to notice my worth, but from me
in those quiet moments when I'm
feeling less than, when I
feel my thoughts slipping
toward darkness.
Such breadth and depth is
a blessing,
she told me:
this is not a price I must pay
to know happiness, something
to suffer through
in order to balance a scale,
my heart weighed back down
every time it is lifted up;
this is what it means to be
open:
a door inside me lets life in
indiscriminately, and I can't
close it to keep out sadness
without also locking out joy.
I must learn how to greet all
my guests with the same grace
and gratitude, to thank every
emotion for holding the door.