the meme that isn't
arhh asked me to tell you sixteen random things about myself.
1. I am secretly a morning person. I love getting up early and having extra time to do stuff. I just wish it were my idea more often than it is.
2. I still don't know what I want to be if I grow up. I change my mind frequently, which is mostly because I love learning and I want to learn EVERYTHING. Right now I'm pondering going back to school again, assuming vocational rehab can cover my tuition; I'm pondering finishing my psych and/or anthro degree and going into some kind of public health/medical informatics type of thing. This may change drastically tomorrow afternoon. it's frustrating sometimes, and I feel ultra-flakey for doing it.
3. I love hospitals. I've always loved hospitals. Probably because there's just so much concentrated STUFF to figure out, and I think bodies in general are pretty neat, they way they're put together and the way they work. And I love gadgets and machines for figuring stuff out. I've wanted to work in the medical field since I was very young (it was that or freelance writing) but I thought I was too stupid to do much with applied sciences for a long time. I've also always wanted to be a writer, but I've been too afraid to commit to that, because I know it's not about to make me much money. I feel very conflicted about this.
4. My greatest inspiration was and still is Rikki Tikki Tavi. RUN AND FIND OUT would be on my family crest if I had one.
5. The first person I really bonded with, (and the only person I really miss from my birthfamily) was my father, who died of I-forget-where cancer (it kind of spread too fast (about four, maybe five months at most) and I honestly can't recall where it started, because I don't get TOLD things by my birthfamily, and hell yes I'm bitter). I miss him all the time. I also am glad that he wasn't around to see me breaking ties with the rest of them, because it would have broken his heart even though it was something that clearly needed to be done. I don't think I would have done it if he'd still been alive, and this is one of the very few "bright spots" (as it were) about his death.
6. I've wanted to be a writer since I was six years old and could hold a pencil. On the other hand I am terrified of rejection and a lot of time I worry that my writing is awful. I'm trying to get over that, because enough of me knows it's not true. I am getting better though. I'm confident enough in a lot of my short-short stories that I've submitted them to various places. Longer stuff needs more work.
7. I used to be terrified of writing fanfic, because I was convinced I'd get it wrong. Even now I mostly play in only one fandom, because my paranoia is just that aggressive. Also I don't watch a hell of a lot of tv. (not as a tv-is-evil kind of thing - I find that patently ridiculous, as inanimate objects have no motivation; just can't be arsed to turn it on most of the time.)
8. I maintain that if I had to have a child again knowing what I know now i wouldn't. I love my kid, but i don't love the hell of postpartum depression/psychosis (which would happen again given my history of anxiety/depression/various mental health problems) the family drama, the lack of sleep, the hell of diapers and doctors and god knows what else, the midwife hell, the fact that hormones make me into a hell-beast - don't know how anyone can have more than one child. At this point I have to bite my tongue when people tell me they're pregnant, because my defaullt question is OMFG WHY.
(note: I know it's not the same for everyone, you don't need to tell me. the neuro calls this PTSD and is working on it.)
9. I met George Shearing once. He was quite nice as I recall. I've also met Douglas Coupland; he was nice, but rather drunk.
10. I go through periods of reading only nonfiction and of reading only fiction. Right now I'm in a nonfiction phase.
11. I never wanted to be a stay at home mother; even as a small child, I assumed I was going to be working. I list my 'occupation' as 'freelance writer' or 'student' (when it applies) because I'd rather be considered that than a homemaker.
12. I do not have a bachelor's degree, which bothers me more than I can adequiately explain.
13. I started drinking coffee during a trip to the Netherlands during high school, mainly because it was there at buffet tables and I wanted to drink something. Coffee there is very strong and sweet. I still like it that way.
14. I still have all of my original body's parts. Whether they work as desired is another thing again.
15. The original iteration of my username was dolphinia, which i used when i was playing on MUSH systems. It lost a few letters and some got mixed around. Oddly enough only one person ever called me 'Dolphy' during that time.
16. I used to know the entirety of a Catholic mass sung in latin. At this point I remember very little although I'm sure they'd come back if I had a reason to remember them. I also know all three verses of Oh Canada, including the french one and the other one everyone forgets.
1. I am secretly a morning person. I love getting up early and having extra time to do stuff. I just wish it were my idea more often than it is.
2. I still don't know what I want to be if I grow up. I change my mind frequently, which is mostly because I love learning and I want to learn EVERYTHING. Right now I'm pondering going back to school again, assuming vocational rehab can cover my tuition; I'm pondering finishing my psych and/or anthro degree and going into some kind of public health/medical informatics type of thing. This may change drastically tomorrow afternoon. it's frustrating sometimes, and I feel ultra-flakey for doing it.
3. I love hospitals. I've always loved hospitals. Probably because there's just so much concentrated STUFF to figure out, and I think bodies in general are pretty neat, they way they're put together and the way they work. And I love gadgets and machines for figuring stuff out. I've wanted to work in the medical field since I was very young (it was that or freelance writing) but I thought I was too stupid to do much with applied sciences for a long time. I've also always wanted to be a writer, but I've been too afraid to commit to that, because I know it's not about to make me much money. I feel very conflicted about this.
4. My greatest inspiration was and still is Rikki Tikki Tavi. RUN AND FIND OUT would be on my family crest if I had one.
5. The first person I really bonded with, (and the only person I really miss from my birthfamily) was my father, who died of I-forget-where cancer (it kind of spread too fast (about four, maybe five months at most) and I honestly can't recall where it started, because I don't get TOLD things by my birthfamily, and hell yes I'm bitter). I miss him all the time. I also am glad that he wasn't around to see me breaking ties with the rest of them, because it would have broken his heart even though it was something that clearly needed to be done. I don't think I would have done it if he'd still been alive, and this is one of the very few "bright spots" (as it were) about his death.
6. I've wanted to be a writer since I was six years old and could hold a pencil. On the other hand I am terrified of rejection and a lot of time I worry that my writing is awful. I'm trying to get over that, because enough of me knows it's not true. I am getting better though. I'm confident enough in a lot of my short-short stories that I've submitted them to various places. Longer stuff needs more work.
7. I used to be terrified of writing fanfic, because I was convinced I'd get it wrong. Even now I mostly play in only one fandom, because my paranoia is just that aggressive. Also I don't watch a hell of a lot of tv. (not as a tv-is-evil kind of thing - I find that patently ridiculous, as inanimate objects have no motivation; just can't be arsed to turn it on most of the time.)
8. I maintain that if I had to have a child again knowing what I know now i wouldn't. I love my kid, but i don't love the hell of postpartum depression/psychosis (which would happen again given my history of anxiety/depression/various mental health problems) the family drama, the lack of sleep, the hell of diapers and doctors and god knows what else, the midwife hell, the fact that hormones make me into a hell-beast - don't know how anyone can have more than one child. At this point I have to bite my tongue when people tell me they're pregnant, because my defaullt question is OMFG WHY.
(note: I know it's not the same for everyone, you don't need to tell me. the neuro calls this PTSD and is working on it.)
9. I met George Shearing once. He was quite nice as I recall. I've also met Douglas Coupland; he was nice, but rather drunk.
10. I go through periods of reading only nonfiction and of reading only fiction. Right now I'm in a nonfiction phase.
11. I never wanted to be a stay at home mother; even as a small child, I assumed I was going to be working. I list my 'occupation' as 'freelance writer' or 'student' (when it applies) because I'd rather be considered that than a homemaker.
12. I do not have a bachelor's degree, which bothers me more than I can adequiately explain.
13. I started drinking coffee during a trip to the Netherlands during high school, mainly because it was there at buffet tables and I wanted to drink something. Coffee there is very strong and sweet. I still like it that way.
14. I still have all of my original body's parts. Whether they work as desired is another thing again.
15. The original iteration of my username was dolphinia, which i used when i was playing on MUSH systems. It lost a few letters and some got mixed around. Oddly enough only one person ever called me 'Dolphy' during that time.
16. I used to know the entirety of a Catholic mass sung in latin. At this point I remember very little although I'm sure they'd come back if I had a reason to remember them. I also know all three verses of Oh Canada, including the french one and the other one everyone forgets.