i'm tired of beating myself up.
i have three days of classes left. bout fucking time. it's good and sad and bad and fantastic all at the same time. all in all, it rocks! the dilemna that i've been experiencing as of late is, i need to do an extern. on this extern i am suppose to learn as much as i can somewhere. now, a good portion of these externs pay shit. i'm currently making good money with my current company and am comfortable with my position and opportunities there. i've also expressed interest in a different company in the pittsburgh region that is a private/asian fusion restaurant. the asian place, Soba, is pretty sweet and i'd get to utilize some of my skills. at Molly's i also get to utilize my skills, somewhat in creativity...mostly in management. molly's will pay me more up front but i'm thinking 5 years down the road and what i'll have to market my self. jumping from ship to ship is pointless and treading water, even temporarily seems like a waste of time. i'm neither a pirate or a water polo player. it's all coming to a head now and has been steadily increasing for three months now. i should have just taken the job in wisconsin and been done with it. to bad i like sunshine and waves. the reason i don't want to leave pittsburgh is because jill still has three years of schooling here, for her RN, and i can't see myself living in another city or town living a shared life over miles and miles. jill, jobs, school and the future. wouldn't just paying bills be easier?