(no subject)
i got out of bed and just about instantly started laughing/singing as i puttered around. why? it's cold! not really cold. it's sunny and beautiful but it's not 90 degrees out there today and it's not going to be. high in the low 70s today. 70s!!!! i'm giddy with delight and relief. the heat has not been kind to pregnant me this summer. i am super duper absolutely extremely ready for fall.
wrote a post earlier in the week when i was not at all giddy but actually really down and bleh. and then i didn't post it because i felt annoyed with my own crankiness. i'll put it here under a cut so you can easily skip it.
i'm in a bit of a funk right now and thus should probably not be choosing this time to post, but i'm having trouble figuring out what i want to do with myself so this seems like a good start.
yesterday was just kind of a crap day. except when i think about explaining why, it makes little sense. i was very busy making last minute preparations for a potluck dinner and rehearsal for my church choir. the last minute-ness made the whole day feel annoying and frustrating and was entirely my own fault. and i feel tired all the time lately, which is in part probably just being pregnant and in part because i'm anemic (again), which i found out last week. which doesn't help my moods either, i'm sure.
and then i got a call from the doctor saying there's just a little too much protein in my urine and they want to do a 24 hour urine test which sounds absolutely delightful. rachael talked to our midwife and she thinks it's an overreaction on the doctor's part but being in the position of having to decide which medical professional to listen to makes me still more anxious and frustrated.
and i don't feel the baby move very much lately which usually i'm fine with because: the placenta is in the front, dulling sensation of movement and i recently talked to someone else who experienced that who felt very little and now has a healthy, happy baby. the midwife is not at all concerned with the amount i'm feeling and says it's just like that for some people. the fetus is at 3 lbs now and there's just not a lot of room in there for movement. but THEN the stupid doctor tells me i should keep a 'kick count' and blah blah blah and i can't help but start freaking out that i don't feel enough.
so yesterday was a constant stream in my head of: omg i'm terrible at my job and i'm probably going to develop pre-eclampsia and i won't be able to have the baby at home and that's all for the best anyway because the baby never moves and something must be wrong with it and i don't know if i should pee in a jug for 24 hours or what and am i eating enough iron today and when will i stop having the urge to chew on ice cubes?
and the rehearsal and everything went fine but all the carrying and up and down stairs i did triggered my IT band-related knee pain and it hurt so much at the end of the night that i was whimpering as i walked to my car. so when i got home i just cried for a while. which may have been helpful except then it set off some kind of sinus thing and there was a lot of sniffling and sneezing.
oy with the poodles already!
today i just feel totally worn out. and today is a concert day. i need to figure out some way to perk up and focus. and without coffee! wah. and yet all of yesterday's crap is still kind of rolling around in my head and i just want to go back to bed more than anything. or read some really great comfort fic or something. i don't know what i'll really do, but it's about time to figure it out.
no, ok, real summary:
-all rehearsals and concerts went well.
-doctors really, really want to find problems with pregnancies. it pays their bills.
-i will relent and pee in a jug for 24 hours.
-i'm pretty positive me and the baby are just peachy, if slightly iron deficient.
it also helps that last night we started cleaning the house. we have more to do but it got a little out of control when we went away and then right away had guests (the loveliest inkjunket and hominidj!) upon our return. clear surfaces help me clear my mind.
man, i have all this stuff i could post about! we had a baby shower in boston! it was beautiful! and we painted the nursery when ink and j were here! it's beautiful too! and i've been taking some outfit pictures lately. see, all these happy posts. i'll have to start making lots of them. for now though, a little more cleaning and enjoying the weather, and then another lovely guest is coming for the weekend.
wrote a post earlier in the week when i was not at all giddy but actually really down and bleh. and then i didn't post it because i felt annoyed with my own crankiness. i'll put it here under a cut so you can easily skip it.
i'm in a bit of a funk right now and thus should probably not be choosing this time to post, but i'm having trouble figuring out what i want to do with myself so this seems like a good start.
yesterday was just kind of a crap day. except when i think about explaining why, it makes little sense. i was very busy making last minute preparations for a potluck dinner and rehearsal for my church choir. the last minute-ness made the whole day feel annoying and frustrating and was entirely my own fault. and i feel tired all the time lately, which is in part probably just being pregnant and in part because i'm anemic (again), which i found out last week. which doesn't help my moods either, i'm sure.
and then i got a call from the doctor saying there's just a little too much protein in my urine and they want to do a 24 hour urine test which sounds absolutely delightful. rachael talked to our midwife and she thinks it's an overreaction on the doctor's part but being in the position of having to decide which medical professional to listen to makes me still more anxious and frustrated.
and i don't feel the baby move very much lately which usually i'm fine with because: the placenta is in the front, dulling sensation of movement and i recently talked to someone else who experienced that who felt very little and now has a healthy, happy baby. the midwife is not at all concerned with the amount i'm feeling and says it's just like that for some people. the fetus is at 3 lbs now and there's just not a lot of room in there for movement. but THEN the stupid doctor tells me i should keep a 'kick count' and blah blah blah and i can't help but start freaking out that i don't feel enough.
so yesterday was a constant stream in my head of: omg i'm terrible at my job and i'm probably going to develop pre-eclampsia and i won't be able to have the baby at home and that's all for the best anyway because the baby never moves and something must be wrong with it and i don't know if i should pee in a jug for 24 hours or what and am i eating enough iron today and when will i stop having the urge to chew on ice cubes?
and the rehearsal and everything went fine but all the carrying and up and down stairs i did triggered my IT band-related knee pain and it hurt so much at the end of the night that i was whimpering as i walked to my car. so when i got home i just cried for a while. which may have been helpful except then it set off some kind of sinus thing and there was a lot of sniffling and sneezing.
oy with the poodles already!
today i just feel totally worn out. and today is a concert day. i need to figure out some way to perk up and focus. and without coffee! wah. and yet all of yesterday's crap is still kind of rolling around in my head and i just want to go back to bed more than anything. or read some really great comfort fic or something. i don't know what i'll really do, but it's about time to figure it out.
no, ok, real summary:
-all rehearsals and concerts went well.
-doctors really, really want to find problems with pregnancies. it pays their bills.
-i will relent and pee in a jug for 24 hours.
-i'm pretty positive me and the baby are just peachy, if slightly iron deficient.
it also helps that last night we started cleaning the house. we have more to do but it got a little out of control when we went away and then right away had guests (the loveliest inkjunket and hominidj!) upon our return. clear surfaces help me clear my mind.
man, i have all this stuff i could post about! we had a baby shower in boston! it was beautiful! and we painted the nursery when ink and j were here! it's beautiful too! and i've been taking some outfit pictures lately. see, all these happy posts. i'll have to start making lots of them. for now though, a little more cleaning and enjoying the weather, and then another lovely guest is coming for the weekend.