(no subject)
I haven't made a real update for a very long time at least for me, compared to how I used to be.
Thanksgiving has been quite a trip. That was a pun. Or something. I got to see Justine, Lauren, Travis, Erin, Jeremy, Alison, Stacey, Seth, Stephanie and Liz. And Alex. It was neat talking about our differing experiances. But it was also unsettling as I began to sense that our paths were beginning to diverge, and though because of our bonds we may already be beginning to drift. We all share in the, "Wow, we're out of high school now" thing. But what we're interested in and our dreams have started to become more of an influence on our lives I guess. Either that or what I'm saying is crap. It just seems weird, like we're crossing worlds now, and though fissure we have to straddle in order to reunite is small right now, it seems like it will widen in the future. We were already having to talk across something. I imagine I'm wrong in many ways, but I can't see that everyone will remain together like we have.
It's been interesting. I originally established a policy somewhat unconsciously, but definately it was there, that I didn't want to date for like the first semester. And avoid relationships of that sort for as long as possible. Over the weeks after I came to Baylor, that policy seemed to come under assault, but nothing like the kind of assault that I had thought it would be to be real honest. I knew about how Baylor was obsessed with marriages and hooking people up. But I was not expecting people that I consider very wise to be telling me that a) perhaps I need to be more open to it and b) that they had in fact been praying for me to find someone for a while. So... I guess I've become more open to it. But my fear is I'll go the other way and become a jerk. Because I certainly know I can be one. Because I often am one. Le sigh. I can falsely self deprecate that is messed up. Anyway, I've ended up interested in two girls, but I fear that one is more based on physical. Well I'm pretty sure it is, and i"m not sure how well we'd fit together. So it probably would be better not to try at all otherwise I would end up hurting people. Because if I have my doubt about whether it will work form the beginning... how smart is that? On the other hand, I haven't spent much time with that person talking to her so I can't really know that. The other person I've known for a while but there are other more concrete problems. I odn't know how well we'd get along in some wawys. And heck, this is all wrong because it must be based on what the other person wants, not what I want, what they need, not what I need. So eh. I can't believe I talked about this for that long.
In other news, Church Under the Bridge is an amazing place. I love it. The amazing things I see happening there every week, the fact that it doesn't matter where you come from, you can come to that church.
As I go through things, my faith is being challenged I guess in terms of where I want to focus? Or maybe how to develop a cohesive whole? Because from Church Under the Bridge, I keep hearing about economical issues, social justice, and the need for this. On the other hand, I also hear about things like the healing ministry, how that tends to be neglected. I suppose for the most part the church and the Christian should involve some of all of these elements. I just wonder, do I get involved in all of these elements or do I choose one in particular to make "my thing". Shoudl people have "their thing" in the church that they focus on? I recognize that some people are definatley more gifted in some areas, but I guess I wonder, are we all called to do something for the poor? Are we all called to be involved in healing ministry? Comments would be appreciated. Ultimately, the focus must be on God, nto dating, not me, etc....
Another thing I have been processing through recently is the issue of Christology. It's interesting how in non eof the synoptic Gospels, Jesus never explicitely states his divinity. So does that mean (as the synoptic gospels were written frist) that maybe Jesus never said this? It sometimes seems weird. Yet we ahve John, which is the only Gospel believed to have been written by an actual follower/eyewitness of Christ's ministry. Le sigh.
I don't have a ride back yet tommorow. I 'll need to call some people in the mornign. I also need to apply for a job for next semester.
Oh and for those of you crazy people not on Facebook:
OSU Game Pics
Fun Times
Thanksgiving has been quite a trip. That was a pun. Or something. I got to see Justine, Lauren, Travis, Erin, Jeremy, Alison, Stacey, Seth, Stephanie and Liz. And Alex. It was neat talking about our differing experiances. But it was also unsettling as I began to sense that our paths were beginning to diverge, and though because of our bonds we may already be beginning to drift. We all share in the, "Wow, we're out of high school now" thing. But what we're interested in and our dreams have started to become more of an influence on our lives I guess. Either that or what I'm saying is crap. It just seems weird, like we're crossing worlds now, and though fissure we have to straddle in order to reunite is small right now, it seems like it will widen in the future. We were already having to talk across something. I imagine I'm wrong in many ways, but I can't see that everyone will remain together like we have.
It's been interesting. I originally established a policy somewhat unconsciously, but definately it was there, that I didn't want to date for like the first semester. And avoid relationships of that sort for as long as possible. Over the weeks after I came to Baylor, that policy seemed to come under assault, but nothing like the kind of assault that I had thought it would be to be real honest. I knew about how Baylor was obsessed with marriages and hooking people up. But I was not expecting people that I consider very wise to be telling me that a) perhaps I need to be more open to it and b) that they had in fact been praying for me to find someone for a while. So... I guess I've become more open to it. But my fear is I'll go the other way and become a jerk. Because I certainly know I can be one. Because I often am one. Le sigh. I can falsely self deprecate that is messed up. Anyway, I've ended up interested in two girls, but I fear that one is more based on physical. Well I'm pretty sure it is, and i"m not sure how well we'd fit together. So it probably would be better not to try at all otherwise I would end up hurting people. Because if I have my doubt about whether it will work form the beginning... how smart is that? On the other hand, I haven't spent much time with that person talking to her so I can't really know that. The other person I've known for a while but there are other more concrete problems. I odn't know how well we'd get along in some wawys. And heck, this is all wrong because it must be based on what the other person wants, not what I want, what they need, not what I need. So eh. I can't believe I talked about this for that long.
In other news, Church Under the Bridge is an amazing place. I love it. The amazing things I see happening there every week, the fact that it doesn't matter where you come from, you can come to that church.
As I go through things, my faith is being challenged I guess in terms of where I want to focus? Or maybe how to develop a cohesive whole? Because from Church Under the Bridge, I keep hearing about economical issues, social justice, and the need for this. On the other hand, I also hear about things like the healing ministry, how that tends to be neglected. I suppose for the most part the church and the Christian should involve some of all of these elements. I just wonder, do I get involved in all of these elements or do I choose one in particular to make "my thing". Shoudl people have "their thing" in the church that they focus on? I recognize that some people are definatley more gifted in some areas, but I guess I wonder, are we all called to do something for the poor? Are we all called to be involved in healing ministry? Comments would be appreciated. Ultimately, the focus must be on God, nto dating, not me, etc....
Another thing I have been processing through recently is the issue of Christology. It's interesting how in non eof the synoptic Gospels, Jesus never explicitely states his divinity. So does that mean (as the synoptic gospels were written frist) that maybe Jesus never said this? It sometimes seems weird. Yet we ahve John, which is the only Gospel believed to have been written by an actual follower/eyewitness of Christ's ministry. Le sigh.
I don't have a ride back yet tommorow. I 'll need to call some people in the mornign. I also need to apply for a job for next semester.
Oh and for those of you crazy people not on Facebook:
OSU Game Pics
Fun Times