People just need to shut up sometimes.
No matter what happens, I almost always feel a kind of outsider. There are very few people who I think I can be myself with. And even with them, there is always a hint of doubt.
"And you make revelations
that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way,
not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so
important that you almost cried while saying it. That's the worst, I
think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but
for want of an understanding ear."
Is this human nature, or am I making a problem out of nothing?
Do humans intrinsically realize that there is very little chance that anyone sees the world exactly in the way they do, and there is probably no chance that there is anyone who can know what you are thinking without you having to explain it to them?
I have a lot of different friend groups.
Should I give preference to one over the other just because I feel like it? Just because that day, I don't feel like dealing with artificiality and superficiality and actually want to get down to the gritty stuff? Is that fair to all of my occasional acquaintances? Do I care if it's fair to them?
When I look at people, I see a lot of things.
Sometimes I see what they see of themselves.
Sometimes I see what I believe they truly are, whether or not it's what they see of themselves.
Sometimes I don't see everything, and every so often, there's that little moment of truth when more of who they are is revealed. So I sit back, re-evaluate, and go on.
I really want to talk to someone.
Everyone seems to be moving farther and farther away, no one has time anymore. Everyone has to do something, be somewhere.
Is it too much to ask to be able to discuss the state of things with someone other than myself?
I'm not saying none of this is my fault. Because a good portion of it is.
I'm saying I still want to talk. And I should probably stop being stubborn about who I talk with.
"And you make revelations
that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way,
not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so
important that you almost cried while saying it. That's the worst, I
think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but
for want of an understanding ear."
Is this human nature, or am I making a problem out of nothing?
Do humans intrinsically realize that there is very little chance that anyone sees the world exactly in the way they do, and there is probably no chance that there is anyone who can know what you are thinking without you having to explain it to them?
I have a lot of different friend groups.
Should I give preference to one over the other just because I feel like it? Just because that day, I don't feel like dealing with artificiality and superficiality and actually want to get down to the gritty stuff? Is that fair to all of my occasional acquaintances? Do I care if it's fair to them?
When I look at people, I see a lot of things.
Sometimes I see what they see of themselves.
Sometimes I see what I believe they truly are, whether or not it's what they see of themselves.
Sometimes I don't see everything, and every so often, there's that little moment of truth when more of who they are is revealed. So I sit back, re-evaluate, and go on.
I really want to talk to someone.
Everyone seems to be moving farther and farther away, no one has time anymore. Everyone has to do something, be somewhere.
Is it too much to ask to be able to discuss the state of things with someone other than myself?
I'm not saying none of this is my fault. Because a good portion of it is.
I'm saying I still want to talk. And I should probably stop being stubborn about who I talk with.