Update
So I haven't had an update in well, quite some time,...and the last thing I dated said I would update the following day, well I'm here now so I guess I'll do this.
I've made a lot of realizations lately, the reality of many "lasts" occuring, turning 18, doesn't seem like much especially in today's world. However, when looked at it really does mean a lot. Many responsabilities used to being in the control of your parents or outside your thoughts now come rushing in, and the world feels ever more apparent. Among many of these lasts, I've discovered many "firsts" creeping in.
Senior year has been the most trying year of my high school career, and I state that with most seriousness. Now that classes are coming to a close, I've had more opportunites to look back over the past 4 years. I look at the freshman in the halls and wonder how I felt walking next to a senior in the halls when I was their age. I think about how I've lost touch with some friends, and gained many more. Seemingly, a LOT has changed in 4 years.
Part of me can't wait for high school to come to a close, and part of me has been on constant flash back just trudging through the years and memories. More often than ever before I've been regularly caught up in daydreams, and nightmares, having lost much sleep and waking up frustrated because of nightmares and the like. I've been trying to remain occupied with my time. I've also taken much time off work, not because of necessity but I know that with the few tests that I have had and will have, it would only frustrate me further. With that I've been working on figuring out why I get frustrated so. It's really quite bothersome and if I ever lash out at someone it's more often than not unintentional. I have spent a lot of time thinking as you might tell.
Well my emotions have jumped up and down while writing this and now im happy so im gonna go and maybe get some rest. I'll try and get back soon, who knows.
One machine tells the other not to feed them.
"They only want more." We only want more.
Just let go.
Please don't feed the machine.
I've made a lot of realizations lately, the reality of many "lasts" occuring, turning 18, doesn't seem like much especially in today's world. However, when looked at it really does mean a lot. Many responsabilities used to being in the control of your parents or outside your thoughts now come rushing in, and the world feels ever more apparent. Among many of these lasts, I've discovered many "firsts" creeping in.
Senior year has been the most trying year of my high school career, and I state that with most seriousness. Now that classes are coming to a close, I've had more opportunites to look back over the past 4 years. I look at the freshman in the halls and wonder how I felt walking next to a senior in the halls when I was their age. I think about how I've lost touch with some friends, and gained many more. Seemingly, a LOT has changed in 4 years.
Part of me can't wait for high school to come to a close, and part of me has been on constant flash back just trudging through the years and memories. More often than ever before I've been regularly caught up in daydreams, and nightmares, having lost much sleep and waking up frustrated because of nightmares and the like. I've been trying to remain occupied with my time. I've also taken much time off work, not because of necessity but I know that with the few tests that I have had and will have, it would only frustrate me further. With that I've been working on figuring out why I get frustrated so. It's really quite bothersome and if I ever lash out at someone it's more often than not unintentional. I have spent a lot of time thinking as you might tell.
Well my emotions have jumped up and down while writing this and now im happy so im gonna go and maybe get some rest. I'll try and get back soon, who knows.
One machine tells the other not to feed them.
"They only want more." We only want more.
Just let go.
Please don't feed the machine.