The Rules of Love According to Andreas Capellanus: 2. He who is not jealous can not love.
Fandom Young Avenges
No warnings needed
Marvel owns the characters
Word count 1443
Betaed by fullofmetal (Many Thanks!)
( He who is jealous can not love )
No warnings needed
Marvel owns the characters
Word count 1443
Betaed by fullofmetal (Many Thanks!)
( He who is jealous can not love )
Gosh, yeah, tell me about it. Present tense in fics everywhere (I have nothing against present tense, per se, but it doesn't work for everything, you know? And yet...)
But yeah, in comics, what makes the characters is their dialogue. From Billy's gentle rebukes coached in humour ("I'd have done it magically. With magic."), to Eli's stroppiness at everything- "So who will be leading this team to Doom?" to Magneto's sly put downs, "I'd think it would be Hawkeye, if she were still speaking to you" to Tommy's sly, cynical bite, "Gee unc, you must be bummed because I'm prettier, faster, have thicker hair" - it's the dialogue that actually delineates the characters for the reader, in as much as visuals. Heinberg is such a good writer in the sense that, if someone read the comic to you, and you couldn't see the visuals, you'd know who was talking and why.
So that's what you need to sharpen (amongst other things) philo, the fact that your dialogue should support your characterisation.
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Present tense is bad. (Why?)
Dialogue is good. (I'll add a lot more in my next fic!)
Thank you both for your helpful comments!
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But here's the thing though, you tend to use omniscient narrative that tends to kill your stories. It takes great technical skill for this device to be used, and a lot of discipline. No offence, because I love you like a play cousin, but you don't have that. You tend to not follow through your blocking and give your game away.
Present tense isn't bad per se. I tend to like it for moments that you want to STRETCH forever (like, say, a fic's version of slow motion in the movies), and it works for short bursts of fic (like anything under three thousand words), not so much in long spurts. But remember this is all YMMV (your mileage might vary), and it's all rules, and all rules are made to be broken, once you know what the rules are.
But yes, more dialogue. Dialogue is good.
Did you get my email by chance? I think I might have spoken at length about this. :)'
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I realize I don't have to skill to pull it off and I'm going to try to stick to third person P.O.V. (Because I really don't think I can do first.)
I've never heard that phrase before "follow through your blocking". What does my blocking do to a story?
Working on putting the fic into past-tense, I agree with you on the pacing. I'm probably going to change a lot of things around, would you be willing to look it over again?
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Blocking just basically means that you need to know how your actors (or, in this case, your characters) move relative to each other. For instance, if I'm sitting, and you are standing above me, and I'm looking at you. You'd write the fact that to look at you, I'd have to raise my gaze, lift my chin. You, philo, if you were standing, you'd be looking down at me, and depending on our dynamic, you'd either cross your arms or sneer.
Right, so those are actions, but suppose I stand up, and walk away from you. What does this mean for you, then? Do you (a) follow me, or (b) you might look at me from the distance.
So yeah, imagine all of this movement with your characters' dialogue and it will shift again.
But yeah, if you google that, you'll see what I mean.
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