(no subject)
Okay, so yesterday was a day of reckoning. And after several hours of moving through stages of despair, hurt, anger, hopelessness, and posting, what I am sure, with the influx of wonderful words of comfort from friends, was a very depressing livejournal entry, I am back among the living…as always, it seems, with an embarrassing insight into my ability to catastrophize something that really shouldn’t matter so much. After all, in all honesty, is it my dream to be the history editor of the University Press of Florida? Do I even want to stay in academic publishing? And do I want a reason to be tied to this barren town? No. All that has been crushed in this is my pride, and even that is recovering.
So, Jesus Christ, Lori, stop being so damn dramatic.
This is the opening of a door. The loosening of what could have been a trap.
Everything for my M.F.A. applications seem to be falling into place. This weekend I am taking a brief retreat to immerse myself in preparing the manuscript I will submit, and a writer I have worked with here has offered to read over it, again, and let me know if my revisions are going in the right direction. Sometimes I don’t know if I am making it better or worse. I have been so distracted lately. So, ergo, I have planned three incredible uninterrupted days of solitude to fully focus on it. I will either emerge with a completed 30-page submission, or chuck my laptop, drown all ambition, start wearing colors, get a perm, and put my full attention into being the best gosh-darned assistant ever…(okay, okay, I watched “The Stepford Wives” twice this week).
Colors? I shudder at the depravity. Now THAT'S just crazy.
So, Jesus Christ, Lori, stop being so damn dramatic.
This is the opening of a door. The loosening of what could have been a trap.
Everything for my M.F.A. applications seem to be falling into place. This weekend I am taking a brief retreat to immerse myself in preparing the manuscript I will submit, and a writer I have worked with here has offered to read over it, again, and let me know if my revisions are going in the right direction. Sometimes I don’t know if I am making it better or worse. I have been so distracted lately. So, ergo, I have planned three incredible uninterrupted days of solitude to fully focus on it. I will either emerge with a completed 30-page submission, or chuck my laptop, drown all ambition, start wearing colors, get a perm, and put my full attention into being the best gosh-darned assistant ever…(okay, okay, I watched “The Stepford Wives” twice this week).
Colors? I shudder at the depravity. Now THAT'S just crazy.