(no subject)
Its been awhile since i last wrote in here so i figure its about time for an update. I'm not sure what to say really, but as vagues as i can be trip was great, it was much needed and had fun.
Being home is the same as ever, nothing changes, nothing gets better, but nothing gets worst. Just the state of mind, if your in a good state you can deal if your not its harder. I keep getting these e-mails... i dont know what i should do, how can you forgive when things have gone so far. I dont know them anymore, a stranger. Sometimes i wish i had a big family. I think things would've been easier if i did. Oh well my friends are family, more so then my actually blood.
Its funny, because i don't actually have it nor do i think about it anymore but i cant help but worry that things will go back to the way they were after i spilled the beans and i really dont want that to happen. Its was just a stupid unintentional thing that i of course just ran away from. Meh. No need to worry... but it isnt me to just let things go :P.
It was good seeing everyone last night. Although didn't see some as much as i would've liked, oh well. Thats the way these things go.
I still think about that night every now and then, its pretty brutal when i do. Like a slap in the face, and my heart sinks. Forgetting isnt something im very good at apparently. The heat, touch, feeling, firsts, its just not something you can forget. Its something you want again, but not just that... Its summer, and i see couples everywhere... i dont know what to do.
Being home is the same as ever, nothing changes, nothing gets better, but nothing gets worst. Just the state of mind, if your in a good state you can deal if your not its harder. I keep getting these e-mails... i dont know what i should do, how can you forgive when things have gone so far. I dont know them anymore, a stranger. Sometimes i wish i had a big family. I think things would've been easier if i did. Oh well my friends are family, more so then my actually blood.
Its funny, because i don't actually have it nor do i think about it anymore but i cant help but worry that things will go back to the way they were after i spilled the beans and i really dont want that to happen. Its was just a stupid unintentional thing that i of course just ran away from. Meh. No need to worry... but it isnt me to just let things go :P.
It was good seeing everyone last night. Although didn't see some as much as i would've liked, oh well. Thats the way these things go.
I still think about that night every now and then, its pretty brutal when i do. Like a slap in the face, and my heart sinks. Forgetting isnt something im very good at apparently. The heat, touch, feeling, firsts, its just not something you can forget. Its something you want again, but not just that... Its summer, and i see couples everywhere... i dont know what to do.