Entries in my notepad.
I should preface this a little bit. In my back pocket, always, with my wallet, there is a notepad. It's been taken everywhere. The pages are worn, a bit, and a few have come off the small spiral that tries its hardest to keep the rest together. It's where my head is. So, as my page says, "A Look Inside My Head." What better look than my notepad?
NOTE: I'll keep updating this until I decide to quit.
9/11/06 - This is life. All you need to do is live it.
- School is a prison for independent thought.
9/13/06 - Every day I think people can't get any stupider. Every day I'm proven terribly wrong.
9/17/06 - Spiritual experiences don't specify which religion, but omit certain thoughts and aspects in certain places. In the moment, I feel only one presence; it takes massive thought to decode, but even deity is relative.
10/4 - Everyone needs more positive human interaction.
10/10 - WHAT AM I DOING?! WHERE AM I GOING?! AAAAH!
Undated - Life is a great game. Have a seat. Stay awhile.
Undated - Frank Lloyd Wright's family crest means "Truth against the world."
10/19 - She is fake. She preachers to each other, preaches things she read off the internet to sound educated. She preaches to disprove her falseness, and to all the sheep, she's a genius, but to me, when I talk, I get this glassy-eyed "Oh yeah, I totally understand".
Undated - Thisisponyattack.com argyleacademy.com landoverbaptist.org goldenfiddle.com
Undated - "Nobody has ever had as many yesterdays as I have had" Lord Leto in God Emperor of Dune
11/7 - What is this phenomenon called memory? It only ends when it cannot be done any longer. And what is life without memory? What good is life when one cannot reflect and evaluate? When one cannot evaluate and improve? Yet, what is the point of evaluation and improvement when the only constant is death? (Revisited 12/3: The only constant is death, but there are some whose spirits trancend death. One's goal should be to become part of history.)
11/24 - Watched The Fountain. Watch that again. *Little yellow bird. Always trusting. Blind faith. * We are all the imagination of ourselves. We'll wake up, think about what we learned, live our life, and go back to sleep, where we dream yet another life. Rinse, lather, repeat. Forever.
11/27 - Cut through all the BS. What's the point in going through all the careful, tedious, worried steps if it's all useless?
11/28 - I can sometimes picture myself in an old victorian house, smoking on the front porch and writing. But do I want it?
11/28 - When tomorrow gets here, where will yesterday be?
11/28 - Sometimes, I think I haven't suffered enough. I've pranced around life so carefully, I feel the need to dive out of a car or something, just to make myself equal with everyone else.
11/30 - Band name - "Addictionary"
12/1 - Everyone looks so much prettier by candlelight.
1/8 - I woke up today with a desire to do something.
1/8 - Beatlemania was society's response to something completely and totally new. Imagine that!
1/8 - "You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die."
1/22 - Left handed people in a right handed society. Look it up. It'll get you through sophomore english in college.
1/23 - Long distance relationships and loneliness. Journal that.
1/28 - Learn to play tabla.