Glad I don't cover the crime beat

[philipvale]

When a Man Dies in a Sex Act with a Horse -- What's a Reporter to Do?

Tough story.

http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1000981095

Comments

[fairoriana]

Yikes! My grandfather lived in Enumclaw. I've been there many a time.

[fairoriana]

Hee hee... that's even funnier if you've ever been to Enumclaw...

[philipvale]

That's going to be an awkward conversation.

[fairoriana]

Well, not so much because he's dead. And not from getting rogered by a horse, either. And, well, he'd probably think it was hilarious.

[philipvale]

Ah...Roger Rogered Roger

Not quite as good as:

Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo

[fairoriana]

I must admit that I always assumed that bestiality, uh, went the other way. I mean, how do you train a horse to do that?

[philipvale]

How would I know?

Who told you I know?

*sweating*

[fairoriana]

I confess that it's one point where I don't mind being ignorant and naive.

[philipvale]

Well, they probably start like all pimps start, by being nice to the horse, telling the horse he's pretty, buying him things.

Then the pimp will make up a sob story. "I love you, Mr. Ed. I'm close to finishing my violin degree at Julliard, but I can't finance the last month.

"Listen, I've got a friend Edgar who likes you and I think you should let him take you to dinner and then, you know, be nice to him.

"Don't look at me that way, Ed. It's not a big deal. I'm not saying we make a regular thing of it, but I need the money and what's one night."

Something like that...

[fairoriana]

There was no way this thread was going to end up NOT being disturbing, was there...

[lietya]

You don't have to "train" the horse, per se. But, um, horses (stallions particularly) enjoy stimulation even when it's not the "traditional" way. They masturbate when left alone, actually. So I'd guess that all you'd have to do would be to, ahem, get the horse interested and put tab A into slot B for the horse, and the horse would take over.

hmph. this knowing everything is going to get me a bad reputation.

[fairoriana]

I don't want to know how you learned this...

[lietya]

Extrapolation, mostly - a friend of mine used to work in a stable, and used to regale me with tales of stallions who'd masturbate, stick it in holes in the wall, etc.