Why coming back may be abortive
I was thinking about why I don't post here, or even read this friends page. The funny thing is, there's really not that much for me here now. I was thinking it was about who I was trying to be, but maybe it was about where I was & what I was surrounded with.
Well, LJ is kind of gone. __marcelo is still there, at least. I don't know who else. And Dreamwidth, at least my corner of it, is largely a kind of fandom space that means much less to me now.
For a long time, some of the people I follow here were really significant in my emotional landscape. I was looking for a kind of connection? Maybe I had to keep up? And yet I have effectively disconnected for years now. Even if I tried to reconnect, that doesn't mean they would care, or indeed ever did.
"She's a redhead and likes Doctor Who," is not a great basis for a relationship, is it? I suppose, "She's into Buffy and Highlander!" isn't either.
Even if I start using this name again, maybe it's just not going to be in this box of "Things that I hung my emotional state on ten years ago."
This entry was originally posted at https://philippos42.dreamwidth.org/154841.html, where Russian botspam is a rarity.
Well, LJ is kind of gone. __marcelo is still there, at least. I don't know who else. And Dreamwidth, at least my corner of it, is largely a kind of fandom space that means much less to me now.
For a long time, some of the people I follow here were really significant in my emotional landscape. I was looking for a kind of connection? Maybe I had to keep up? And yet I have effectively disconnected for years now. Even if I tried to reconnect, that doesn't mean they would care, or indeed ever did.
"She's a redhead and likes Doctor Who," is not a great basis for a relationship, is it? I suppose, "She's into Buffy and Highlander!" isn't either.
Even if I start using this name again, maybe it's just not going to be in this box of "Things that I hung my emotional state on ten years ago."
This entry was originally posted at https://philippos42.dreamwidth.org/154841.html, where Russian botspam is a rarity.