The Colours of Pain caused by a Comic Book

[philippa_]

Title: The Colours of Pain caused by a Comic book (6/10)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count:1,975
Beta:Erynnbeth Thank you so much for your help and patience :)
Summary: Well, I felt like writing some hurt/comfort and it involves Ryan, Seth, worried Sandy and Kirsten, the rover and a cliff!
Author's Note: Thanks also to beachtree who gave me some very useful medical

Comments

[beachtree]

I like the way you set the stage with the Cohens interacting with one another first. It's an effective way to showcase each of their own unique perspectives. They all obviously feel a certain amount of guilt, with the adults demonstrating more of an indirect type for somehow failing to keep both boys, but especially Ryan, safe. Obviously, conditions and events were beyond their control, but, for Sandy especially, there's that constant nagging that he brought Ryan into their home and lives in part to keep him safe and to give him a better life. For Kirsten, this takes more the form of regret for the distance she imposed from the beginning and the lack of connectivity. Although it's trauma and confusion that have Ryan not recognizing her through the pain, at least a part of her has to be blaming herself for not embracing a more active and invested role.

And for Seth, there's a more direct sort of responsibility, especially as he compares both the memories of Ryan not breathing and so close to death after the crash and his serious injuries and intense pain now with his own minor injuries. Just the concepts of guilt and responsibility on any level, regardless of intent, are new to Seth and enough to frighten him. The sight of Ryan struggling in multiple ways is far to real to trivialize or ignore.

You've captured and conveyed Ryan's pain convincingly and stressed the bond between Ryan and his guardians as they suffer right along with him, feeling so powerless to provide comfort, reassurance or relief that makes any measurable difference. Not only is Ryan enduring the effects of being tossed about with the damage to his body in general, but specifically to his chest and head- two areas where pain is most intense and debilitating and where some of the most basic functions become compromised. It's apparent that his memory is somewhat affected and that his ability to concentrate and process information is an issue too. He's just after immediate relief, and disoriented enough that he even tries to believe that his mother would be able or willing to give him that. With all of the confusion, Ryan just isn't able to do more than call out for the person he thinks should be within earshot, even if he knows she won't answer that call. Not even his most hopeful self trusts Dawn to put him first, but he's desperate and in another place and time.

Having the Cohens witness that uncertainty as Ryan grasps for the person he thinks is closest and seeing Kirsten's hurt at what she first seems to perceive as rejection, rather than understanding that Ryan isn't lucid enough to notice his surroundings or make that sort of choice, adds another level of pain and confusion.

I hope Kirsten is able to pull herslef together and not make this about her. I was glad that Ryan was able to reach out to Sandy and keep him from following. He needs Sandy far more than Kirsten does right now and he definitely needs someone to support him and help him come to terms with everything that's bombarding him. If nothing registers clearly with him, he has to be terrified, however he masks it, and that means someone else has to help him get his bearings- even if that means repeating and reinforcing constantly.

By isolating the dynamics as Ryan wakes, you have us witness what hits each of the Cohens hardest, along with how Ryan still seeks out and relies most on Sandy. That's the bond that comes to the forefront once again.

I'll be curious to see how they all handle a much more vulnerable Ryan and how they respond to his pain and various side effects, and how their establishesd relationships and perceptions all factor in to any interactions, especially under duress. Ryan might be a master at covering his fear and hurt when he's coherent and in control, but much of that has been altered by trauma, pain and medication. The Cohens aren't accustomed to hiding reactions or censoring themselves. It seems they're going to have to tread carefully around Ryan in a way they never have, especially if they are scared or upset.

This could be a bumpy road, but, as Kirsten seems to remember, the one with the deep wounds and facing the hardest journey is Ryan.

Thanks for the update!

[philippa_]

Was my medical stuff convincing? I made a list of all the things from the information that you sent me that I want Ryan to suffer :P Thanks so much for that. He's going to be vulnerable indeed once I'm through with him *rubs hands together evily.*

Thanks for another wonderfully thoughtful comment. I'm trying to bring other Cohens like Kirsten into my stories more because people on fanfic.net have been asking about the lack of her in my stories. I think my Sandy/Ryan father son relationship obsession has begun to take over. That is why in this story I brought in Kirsten and Seth a bit more. I still forgot about Seth at one point and Erynnbeth had to remind me that Seth was still in the room hehe.

Oh and you know what? I still can't find that gag reel. I searched the disk your friend said and all the other disks that went with season 4. I almost threw the thing on the floor before I gave up. So, since spending almost £100, I have received absolutely zilch special features.

Thanks again for the comment :)

[beachtree]

Yes, I'd say the medical components worked, and I hope my comment conveyed that. I was just a little, okay- a lot, sleep deprived. The disorientation, memory loss, inability to focus and concentrate, and the lack of lucidity were all clear and used well. You worked in how much pain he was in well too and how he reacted to that in his hurt, medicated, confused, and on the verge of consciousness state too. In addition to Ryan's perspective, you provided each of the Cohen's perspectives as well as they reacted to Ryan's appearance and to how he was suffering and behaving too.

Vulnerable and compromised = so much opportunity. Lots to explore and ways to show new sides to characters and their relationships and dynamics...

You don't have to apologize for any Sandy/Ryan emphasis to me. It's not about me, obviously, but I consider it to be the most compelling and most important of the relationships and bonds. Supposedly Josh did too, although you wouldn't really know it, since he was all about the couples. I'd always hoped for more from Kirsten than the painful, measured distance she kept from Ryan physically and emotionally. Awkwaaaaaaaaard. That always struck me as so cold, but also calculated and proof of mistrust, lack of investment and had me wondering if she really wanted him around- or if she was only placating her husband and son. So, if you are keeping your characters close to their canon versions, I wouldn't accuse you of minimizing Kirsten. Her contact and involvement with Ryan on the show was random and inconsistent. She went long periods where she barely acknowledged him unless circumstances dictated otherwise. However, I always welcome a kinder, gentler, more engaged and maternal version of her too. It's what we missed out on.

As for Seth, I'm not a fan, and other than the one liners/comic relief, I usually have little use for his self-absorbed and insensitive nonsense. It gets old real fast. The rambling and buffer role he plays by demanding center stage is a distraction that is welcome briefly and occasionally, but not for long. In this case, what is important is that he is at least realizing his pattern of behavior. He's now aware, at least in the moment, that he always only thinks of his expectations, wants and needs and simply assumes and even demands that anyone/everyone else complies. Certainly, he didn't intentionally drive off the road and he didn't intend to nearly kill Ryan or hurt himself, but this has shaken him up enough and scared him enough to take a look at himself too. Ryan basically died and was revived. He's still paying the price and will for quite some time. What happened was an accident, but Ryan was in that vehicle because of Seth's pressure and insistence and Ryan's sense of obligation to him. That should have Seth at least evaluating the dynamic and very unequal relationship with Ryan. Time to take a good hard look at himself... So, yeah, he needs to be present, but it's your call how much. If you feel more comfortable focusing on other characters and it works effectively in the story, then follow your instincts while including some bits of Seth where it's realistic and necessary. But you know that!

I don't know if the U.K. version is different from the U.S. version. I don't want' to put anymore money in Schwartz's pocket anyway, but especially if there isn't anything extra worth viewing. Now, if we knew that Ben got a sizable cut and Peter... I do know she said it wasn't listed anywhere, but it was on that disk. Hmmm...

[beachtree]

And that, obviously, was my reply. I just had logged in, but I guess LJ decided to boot me back out again.

Sorry!

[jassylou]

Seems to me LJ likes to pick on you beach.*scowls at LJ*!!!!

[beachtree]

I won't be paranoid. I'll attribute it to bad timing.

[jassylou]

Your medical stuff was spot on and I've experienced,head trauma etc first hand. I was in a coma for 3 weeks and you got the panic with the removal of the throat tube spot on.

I can still feel the soreness from that tube. You've given me an insight as to what was maybe going on around me while I was in the land of nod. The attention span deficit is well written too.

My attention span is okay now but please,please,Purrlease up date soon.!!!?:D