The Longest Rant EVAH...
I apologize for all redundancies, as when I froth at the mouth I repeat myself. Mea Culpa.
Before I am accused of pandering to that horrible faction known as Liberals, let me just say that those of you that embrace the new Republicans as the end all be all of politics have a empty skull where your brain should reside. On the other hand, my mind works perfectly fine and examines all the miniutae before coming to the correct decision. Or certainly a better decision than you, with the cavernous echo chamber that you call a skull. Now in case you’re obtuse and cannot divine my meaning because my words are too big for you, let me explain: You should all be killed like baby harp seals, using large clubs on your slope-headed skulls.
I’m angry as hell, because after eight years of the worst government we’ve seen that was run by Bush 1 and 2, you have declared that Obama has ruined the country in 16 months. Bullshit ! In case you’ve forgotten or are just in denial, let me tell you what Republican leadership has done for this country. Please feel free to grab a snack and a drink as this will be a long screed.
The Patriot Act and it’s attendant abuses that allow the government to spy on Americans for no reason. The paving over of everything; the housing crisis and states going bankrupt; censorship of books; the attempted outlawing of abortion, while forbidding sex education, ensuring that teen pregnancies rise so we have more babies that will, in the future become dead soldiers . Want more ? The Stock Market Crash that was a direct result of your “let’s not interfere in the free market” bullshit, which is the same inane garbage being preached by the current crop of Republitards we have in Congress. You know the ones; the sore losers that can’t handle having been in power for 8 years and losing to a black Democrat. So they block Obama on every piece of legislation they can. Then they go on to say that he hasn’t accomplished much in the time he’s been president. Well, thanks to YOU, you fuckers !
As long as I’m ranting I think I’ve found a way to solve the energy crisis: We just burn Republicans and their attendant backers for fuel. The moonbat Right, which sees everyone not wearing tinfoil hats as their enemy, is hellbent on restoring this nation to it’s proper roll. What this means is that we should push Christianity, heterosexuality, abstienence education, and using up our resources as quickly as possible. Let me put the above statement in plain English for you: We’d like an oppressive theocracy that kills people for not following it, leaving a dead planet behind for all the kids that were born due to disallowing abortion. Brilliant ! We’re fucking patriots and should be on Mount Rushmore (soon to be named Mount Rush Limbaugh).
And I say they should be on Mount Rushmore, but hanging from thousands of ropes around their genitals. Because truth be told, you people of the Right are bugfuck crazy. You keep clinging to the same principles and ideas that don’t work worth a damn. Plus you claim they work, making you a genuine worker for the Ministry of Truth. Welcome to 1984 and newspeak. And I hate all of you fuckers and wish you were all dead ! Because you ought to be killed without mercy in the swiftest way possible. Only then can we actually have a government by the people.
Oh, and we should kill all the stock market bozos as well.
Greetings from the outer rim of the world as we know it, otherwise known as Minnesota. I malign this state a great deal, to the puzzlement of many and the hatred of a few. One would think I was accusing the Pope of molesting children with a cruxifix the way my fellow citizens redden in the face with anger. My statements are just that, mine. Mine to make and yours to do with as you will, but like it or not, I’m certainly not going to go away into that good night. If I did that, I’d be just like the residents who accept the daily plate of shit as the holy sacrament of faith; never asking questions; glued to their televisions as if they were moths; and otherwise of the belief that this place is peachy keen.
As you can tell, I do not share that sentiment, having to live here for 59 years. I don’t like to dwell on that too much as I could get depressed and slit my wrists. Some would take joy in my demise, while others would not notice, being of the opinion that nothing was lost in the first place. Both would be wrong. I now intend to take a slight departure from this little screed, so I can viciously attack the nutjobs of the Right known as Tea-Baggers and Fundamentalists.
I can’t stand it any further ! The constant wails coming from the Right about how our once great country has fallen low due to the election of Obama. They scream that he’s a Socialist, when he hasn’t done anything. Mostly because the Republicans in Congress being pack animals, block all his ideas. But the Right is not satisfied with that, they want total control again, as if 12 years out of the last 16 were not enough. Those that are hungry for more power at the expense of liberty are the ones that are the idiots, fools, and traitors that Jefferson would have despised. Have people forgotten about the corruption, war, graft, and other great Republican
innovations. They blew it with a stock market crash and 9-11, among other things.
And now they are wailing that we need to put God back in the classrooms and around the country as that would solve all our problems. God, what nitwits these folk are to believe that. Obviously they don’t remember that the last time we mixed politics with religious fervor we got the Inquisition. No doubt they answer with the trite, “But that would never happen here.” Forgive me for pointing out that your fine sentiment led to the atrocity that was Germany in the 30’s through the 40’s. Due to their brains being hydrocephalic, they are not bothering to read this, being of the mindset that I’m wrong. I’m not, though.
They want the “good ‘ol days” to return, when America was great. I would hazard a guess that means the Fifties. Ah yes, the Fifties, when blacks were hanged for sport; where women were kept in their proper place as brood mares and cooks; and where the white man was the image of God. The problem with this idea is that it’s full of dreck. The world you envision never existed except in your mind. Selective memory is a strange thing. The Good Old Days were not that good at all.
More likely you’ve blocked out all the bad things, but that’s just typical of the Right, whose motto ought to be: “The past is the answer to the future.” No doubt the dinosaurs, if they had intelligence and were Republicans, saw that meteor coming at them and dismissed it. “Forget it, all will be fine. Just keep the Status Quo going.”
The next thing they knew they were gone.
I’m rather hoping the same thing will happen with the Conservative Cornpones that make up the New Right. But let me explain about the tendency for them to cling to their holy grail of the Status Quo. Friends, the Status Quo is not about balance or business as usual, it’s about entropy, stagnation and death. The mindset of the Right is that change is bad. And yet... they prattle on about in the 2010 elections, they will bring us change. What fine hypocrites ! What noble thoughts they entertain in their fine homes filled with overpriced crap they don’t need. Yes, it’s your money and you can spend it how you please, but I still have the right to call ‘em as I see ‘em. You are nothing more then whiny, spoiled children that want everything for themselves and will not share. Sharing and compassion for the less fortunate are what made this country great, and you collection of old farts don’t like that. Well, tough. And don’t get me started on those Tea-baggers, who should all be shot like the vermin they are. Hey, you don’t like taxes ? Then move to Somalia, you pathetic losers !
Have you noticed that the Christian Right seems not to have read and taken to heart the Bible ? It’s amazing how they can be Pro-Life and deny women the right to their own bodies, but be for the death penalty. How these self-serving bastards who have lived in the United States their entire lives suddenly be against taxes and government. Listen up, weirdos: You knew about taxes your whole life since when you went to school and you decided to stay here, so deal with it. You could have moved to another country but chose to live here. They would scream that “America is the greatest country in the world... except for the government and the taxes, and the....” add infinitum until severe nausea grips you and you hurl in their inbred faces. Now the only, and I mean the only reason They don’t want taxes is that they’ve finally made it to where the money is no longer a problem; they have lots of it, but they want ALL OF IT. Contrary to what you may have seen in movies and our slanted cultural wasteland known as the corporate media, greed is not good. Greed turns us into selfish monsters incapable of feeling compassion, let alone love. Yet these Righties invaribly think marriage is wonderful. HOW can you be in love when compassion is beyond your feeble intellect ? Another mystery of the Universe goes unsolved on that one, kids. Don’t ask me how it’s possible for these lifeforms to exist.
In no uncertain terms, these excuses for human beings have fallen off the turnip truck, bumped their heads and are a few fries short of a Happy Meal. I’m shocked that ignorant twats like this are even allowed to vote. If you want a good idea for a law, maybe it should be some test to prove you have the mental capacity above that of a lawn chair before you are allowed to vote ! Because too many of these yipyops have some odd ideas that don’t jibe with the Constitution, thinking themselves better then our founding fathers, when they are completely ignorant. As Harlan Ellison says: “You are not entitled to your opinion, but only an informed opinion.” And as long as I’m doling out dollups of wisdom, let me tell you another that should be engraved on these morons foreheads, namely, “You are entitled to your informed opinions, but NOT your own facts.” Write that one down, kids, there will be a test later. Failure means death by being ground into hamburger and fed to the masses. And you thought that Soylent Green was just something in the movies.
At this moment I’m torn. With that massive oil slick in the gulf the size of Puerto Rico and the experts guessing that it will take 45 to 90 days to cap off, I’m thinking we’re screwed. After all, the dinosaurs ruled for a million years before having their asses capped by that meteor, so I’m thinking that it’s time for the cockroaches to have a shot. At least they wouldn’t be as stupid as politicians, pro-lifers, and the viewers of The 700 Club (which got it’s name from the combined total of the viewers IQ). So Obama can stop telling people that we’ll drill for oil off the Atlantic coast, there’s plenty of oil. Just motor out to the gulf and beyond, scoop up a barrel, and as long as you’re out there, take a look at all the dead sealife, birds, and other lifeforms.
Sleep tight America. Remember, you are free to do what we tell you. Go back to sleep America, your politicians, Righties, fundies, and the other members of the Tabula Rasa Club have everything under control. And if you hear a wailing scream, it’s only me. It’s only me being angry that you’ve killed me, too. The sad part of all this is we weren’t killed in the name of passion, which I could understand. No, we were killed in the name of greed. Ain’t we a wonderful, evolved species ?
Before I am accused of pandering to that horrible faction known as Liberals, let me just say that those of you that embrace the new Republicans as the end all be all of politics have a empty skull where your brain should reside. On the other hand, my mind works perfectly fine and examines all the miniutae before coming to the correct decision. Or certainly a better decision than you, with the cavernous echo chamber that you call a skull. Now in case you’re obtuse and cannot divine my meaning because my words are too big for you, let me explain: You should all be killed like baby harp seals, using large clubs on your slope-headed skulls.
I’m angry as hell, because after eight years of the worst government we’ve seen that was run by Bush 1 and 2, you have declared that Obama has ruined the country in 16 months. Bullshit ! In case you’ve forgotten or are just in denial, let me tell you what Republican leadership has done for this country. Please feel free to grab a snack and a drink as this will be a long screed.
The Patriot Act and it’s attendant abuses that allow the government to spy on Americans for no reason. The paving over of everything; the housing crisis and states going bankrupt; censorship of books; the attempted outlawing of abortion, while forbidding sex education, ensuring that teen pregnancies rise so we have more babies that will, in the future become dead soldiers . Want more ? The Stock Market Crash that was a direct result of your “let’s not interfere in the free market” bullshit, which is the same inane garbage being preached by the current crop of Republitards we have in Congress. You know the ones; the sore losers that can’t handle having been in power for 8 years and losing to a black Democrat. So they block Obama on every piece of legislation they can. Then they go on to say that he hasn’t accomplished much in the time he’s been president. Well, thanks to YOU, you fuckers !
As long as I’m ranting I think I’ve found a way to solve the energy crisis: We just burn Republicans and their attendant backers for fuel. The moonbat Right, which sees everyone not wearing tinfoil hats as their enemy, is hellbent on restoring this nation to it’s proper roll. What this means is that we should push Christianity, heterosexuality, abstienence education, and using up our resources as quickly as possible. Let me put the above statement in plain English for you: We’d like an oppressive theocracy that kills people for not following it, leaving a dead planet behind for all the kids that were born due to disallowing abortion. Brilliant ! We’re fucking patriots and should be on Mount Rushmore (soon to be named Mount Rush Limbaugh).
And I say they should be on Mount Rushmore, but hanging from thousands of ropes around their genitals. Because truth be told, you people of the Right are bugfuck crazy. You keep clinging to the same principles and ideas that don’t work worth a damn. Plus you claim they work, making you a genuine worker for the Ministry of Truth. Welcome to 1984 and newspeak. And I hate all of you fuckers and wish you were all dead ! Because you ought to be killed without mercy in the swiftest way possible. Only then can we actually have a government by the people.
Oh, and we should kill all the stock market bozos as well.
Greetings from the outer rim of the world as we know it, otherwise known as Minnesota. I malign this state a great deal, to the puzzlement of many and the hatred of a few. One would think I was accusing the Pope of molesting children with a cruxifix the way my fellow citizens redden in the face with anger. My statements are just that, mine. Mine to make and yours to do with as you will, but like it or not, I’m certainly not going to go away into that good night. If I did that, I’d be just like the residents who accept the daily plate of shit as the holy sacrament of faith; never asking questions; glued to their televisions as if they were moths; and otherwise of the belief that this place is peachy keen.
As you can tell, I do not share that sentiment, having to live here for 59 years. I don’t like to dwell on that too much as I could get depressed and slit my wrists. Some would take joy in my demise, while others would not notice, being of the opinion that nothing was lost in the first place. Both would be wrong. I now intend to take a slight departure from this little screed, so I can viciously attack the nutjobs of the Right known as Tea-Baggers and Fundamentalists.
I can’t stand it any further ! The constant wails coming from the Right about how our once great country has fallen low due to the election of Obama. They scream that he’s a Socialist, when he hasn’t done anything. Mostly because the Republicans in Congress being pack animals, block all his ideas. But the Right is not satisfied with that, they want total control again, as if 12 years out of the last 16 were not enough. Those that are hungry for more power at the expense of liberty are the ones that are the idiots, fools, and traitors that Jefferson would have despised. Have people forgotten about the corruption, war, graft, and other great Republican
innovations. They blew it with a stock market crash and 9-11, among other things.
And now they are wailing that we need to put God back in the classrooms and around the country as that would solve all our problems. God, what nitwits these folk are to believe that. Obviously they don’t remember that the last time we mixed politics with religious fervor we got the Inquisition. No doubt they answer with the trite, “But that would never happen here.” Forgive me for pointing out that your fine sentiment led to the atrocity that was Germany in the 30’s through the 40’s. Due to their brains being hydrocephalic, they are not bothering to read this, being of the mindset that I’m wrong. I’m not, though.
They want the “good ‘ol days” to return, when America was great. I would hazard a guess that means the Fifties. Ah yes, the Fifties, when blacks were hanged for sport; where women were kept in their proper place as brood mares and cooks; and where the white man was the image of God. The problem with this idea is that it’s full of dreck. The world you envision never existed except in your mind. Selective memory is a strange thing. The Good Old Days were not that good at all.
More likely you’ve blocked out all the bad things, but that’s just typical of the Right, whose motto ought to be: “The past is the answer to the future.” No doubt the dinosaurs, if they had intelligence and were Republicans, saw that meteor coming at them and dismissed it. “Forget it, all will be fine. Just keep the Status Quo going.”
The next thing they knew they were gone.
I’m rather hoping the same thing will happen with the Conservative Cornpones that make up the New Right. But let me explain about the tendency for them to cling to their holy grail of the Status Quo. Friends, the Status Quo is not about balance or business as usual, it’s about entropy, stagnation and death. The mindset of the Right is that change is bad. And yet... they prattle on about in the 2010 elections, they will bring us change. What fine hypocrites ! What noble thoughts they entertain in their fine homes filled with overpriced crap they don’t need. Yes, it’s your money and you can spend it how you please, but I still have the right to call ‘em as I see ‘em. You are nothing more then whiny, spoiled children that want everything for themselves and will not share. Sharing and compassion for the less fortunate are what made this country great, and you collection of old farts don’t like that. Well, tough. And don’t get me started on those Tea-baggers, who should all be shot like the vermin they are. Hey, you don’t like taxes ? Then move to Somalia, you pathetic losers !
Have you noticed that the Christian Right seems not to have read and taken to heart the Bible ? It’s amazing how they can be Pro-Life and deny women the right to their own bodies, but be for the death penalty. How these self-serving bastards who have lived in the United States their entire lives suddenly be against taxes and government. Listen up, weirdos: You knew about taxes your whole life since when you went to school and you decided to stay here, so deal with it. You could have moved to another country but chose to live here. They would scream that “America is the greatest country in the world... except for the government and the taxes, and the....” add infinitum until severe nausea grips you and you hurl in their inbred faces. Now the only, and I mean the only reason They don’t want taxes is that they’ve finally made it to where the money is no longer a problem; they have lots of it, but they want ALL OF IT. Contrary to what you may have seen in movies and our slanted cultural wasteland known as the corporate media, greed is not good. Greed turns us into selfish monsters incapable of feeling compassion, let alone love. Yet these Righties invaribly think marriage is wonderful. HOW can you be in love when compassion is beyond your feeble intellect ? Another mystery of the Universe goes unsolved on that one, kids. Don’t ask me how it’s possible for these lifeforms to exist.
In no uncertain terms, these excuses for human beings have fallen off the turnip truck, bumped their heads and are a few fries short of a Happy Meal. I’m shocked that ignorant twats like this are even allowed to vote. If you want a good idea for a law, maybe it should be some test to prove you have the mental capacity above that of a lawn chair before you are allowed to vote ! Because too many of these yipyops have some odd ideas that don’t jibe with the Constitution, thinking themselves better then our founding fathers, when they are completely ignorant. As Harlan Ellison says: “You are not entitled to your opinion, but only an informed opinion.” And as long as I’m doling out dollups of wisdom, let me tell you another that should be engraved on these morons foreheads, namely, “You are entitled to your informed opinions, but NOT your own facts.” Write that one down, kids, there will be a test later. Failure means death by being ground into hamburger and fed to the masses. And you thought that Soylent Green was just something in the movies.
At this moment I’m torn. With that massive oil slick in the gulf the size of Puerto Rico and the experts guessing that it will take 45 to 90 days to cap off, I’m thinking we’re screwed. After all, the dinosaurs ruled for a million years before having their asses capped by that meteor, so I’m thinking that it’s time for the cockroaches to have a shot. At least they wouldn’t be as stupid as politicians, pro-lifers, and the viewers of The 700 Club (which got it’s name from the combined total of the viewers IQ). So Obama can stop telling people that we’ll drill for oil off the Atlantic coast, there’s plenty of oil. Just motor out to the gulf and beyond, scoop up a barrel, and as long as you’re out there, take a look at all the dead sealife, birds, and other lifeforms.
Sleep tight America. Remember, you are free to do what we tell you. Go back to sleep America, your politicians, Righties, fundies, and the other members of the Tabula Rasa Club have everything under control. And if you hear a wailing scream, it’s only me. It’s only me being angry that you’ve killed me, too. The sad part of all this is we weren’t killed in the name of passion, which I could understand. No, we were killed in the name of greed. Ain’t we a wonderful, evolved species ?