(no subject)
I just wanna sit and cry and cry until I cannot cry anymore. I've been bottling up every little thing that has bothered me. Every big thing that has just poked at my heart--everything that I just cant form into words--or are too afraid to form into words. Every little fear that I have for the present and for the near future and far away future. I am not motivated to do my homework right now-I jsut want to cry. I dont really know how to form tears anymore. i've learned how to harden my heart...because it makes life a little easier that way. I KNOW people say that they are there for me, but then when I mess up a little bit in life-they turn on me and get pissed off. I feel like I am in a huge crowd but yet, I feel so alone. I feel like I am speaking without really saying anything. I feel like people are listening to me-without really hearing anyhting that comes out of my mouth.
I know-a depressing entry. I feel like everywhere I turn people are sad...the weather is crappy and it all adds to the crap of this world and to just my emotion. I wanna go back down to Corvallias and jsut sit with Christine talking about life and more about her background. Little did I know we had a lot in common--and she is the only person that says she has my back-and then shows me that she has it. Friends at school-I am not trying to put you down, I am just sad. I need to try to work on homework...
Jessica--you and I can cry together
I know-a depressing entry. I feel like everywhere I turn people are sad...the weather is crappy and it all adds to the crap of this world and to just my emotion. I wanna go back down to Corvallias and jsut sit with Christine talking about life and more about her background. Little did I know we had a lot in common--and she is the only person that says she has my back-and then shows me that she has it. Friends at school-I am not trying to put you down, I am just sad. I need to try to work on homework...
Jessica--you and I can cry together