ohmylord
i am so very overdue for a post, and i am so very overdue on calling all of you, and i'm sorry. i'm trying to get caught up these days...
i suppose the most important summary these days is that i'm finally doing better and starting to function again. i know that i have dropped out on everyone for the last few months, but i've been having an incredibly difficult time, and it's been hard to stay in contact with people because i haven't felt like i could explain myself these days.
i thought i had sleep apneia or chronic fatigue syndrome, but after several months of being increasingly lethargic and unable to function, i was finally convinced that i actually have clinical depression, which seems really obvious in restrospect, but certainly wasn't to me at the time. before i got medicated i actually couldn't stay awake more than 8 hours a day, i couldn't drive, i would wake up constantly all night before i got any real sleep, and i was basically going nuts.
so in late may i finally went to a counselor for sleeping disorders, but she suspected i was actually dealing with depression. i was dubious, but i rolled with it. my doctor agreed, and i started taking some meds, which worked fairly well, but still didn't leave me with much mental focus.
recently i switched meds, which caused me to relapse for about two weeks until we got the dosage balanced out, and now i'm doing incredibly well. diet and exercise are also a huge factor, but before being medicated i just wasn't able to control my diet and had no energy to exercise anymore. but the initial effect of the meds helped me get back on top of that, which makes all the difference in the world. and i have had to nearly stop drinking, which needed to happen anyway. my drinking was getting way out control as some people noticed, and it was dramatically affecting my seratonin levels.
but i'm doing better. working on music again. i am moving to philly in october. and shock of all shocks, i'm actually dating someone, and it seems to be working out. i don't know if any of you remember tracey thomas, she graduated in 2003. she and i never knew each other at oberlin, but we ran into each other during commencement this year, and then via myspace i found out she lived in cincinnati. and so it goes, oberlin people draw each other close.
but in all seriousness, i owe you guys so many calls.
marta, i only just got your message, and i will give you a jingle tomorrow.
forrest, you will be hearing from me soon.
jon, i need a number for you.
sara, i am on my way, baby.
anyone i have forgotten, please yell at me and tell me to call you.
love,
phil
i suppose the most important summary these days is that i'm finally doing better and starting to function again. i know that i have dropped out on everyone for the last few months, but i've been having an incredibly difficult time, and it's been hard to stay in contact with people because i haven't felt like i could explain myself these days.
i thought i had sleep apneia or chronic fatigue syndrome, but after several months of being increasingly lethargic and unable to function, i was finally convinced that i actually have clinical depression, which seems really obvious in restrospect, but certainly wasn't to me at the time. before i got medicated i actually couldn't stay awake more than 8 hours a day, i couldn't drive, i would wake up constantly all night before i got any real sleep, and i was basically going nuts.
so in late may i finally went to a counselor for sleeping disorders, but she suspected i was actually dealing with depression. i was dubious, but i rolled with it. my doctor agreed, and i started taking some meds, which worked fairly well, but still didn't leave me with much mental focus.
recently i switched meds, which caused me to relapse for about two weeks until we got the dosage balanced out, and now i'm doing incredibly well. diet and exercise are also a huge factor, but before being medicated i just wasn't able to control my diet and had no energy to exercise anymore. but the initial effect of the meds helped me get back on top of that, which makes all the difference in the world. and i have had to nearly stop drinking, which needed to happen anyway. my drinking was getting way out control as some people noticed, and it was dramatically affecting my seratonin levels.
but i'm doing better. working on music again. i am moving to philly in october. and shock of all shocks, i'm actually dating someone, and it seems to be working out. i don't know if any of you remember tracey thomas, she graduated in 2003. she and i never knew each other at oberlin, but we ran into each other during commencement this year, and then via myspace i found out she lived in cincinnati. and so it goes, oberlin people draw each other close.
but in all seriousness, i owe you guys so many calls.
marta, i only just got your message, and i will give you a jingle tomorrow.
forrest, you will be hearing from me soon.
jon, i need a number for you.
sara, i am on my way, baby.
anyone i have forgotten, please yell at me and tell me to call you.
love,
phil