No time for you
Hey friends, sorry I am not posting.
I am busy like...too busy to think up an analogy.
Tonight I am trying out for External Advocacy Program. If I make it I get to go all over America talking shit and swallowing spit.
Tryout is a cross-examination about a car accident. My idea is to make the Plaintiff look like an drug addict. Excerpt:
-Q- "What exactly is a 'bunch' of muscle relaxers, Mr. Brown?"
-A- "Huh"
-Q- "According to your deposition, you took a 'bunch' of muscle relaxers, played tennis, drank 5-7 beers, and then missed work for a week, due to your pain. Is that true, Mr. Brown?"
-A- "Umm"
-Q- "Well, Mr. Brown, while you and I might call that a good time, a Dr. would call that DRUG ABUSE (gesture wildly)"
I then go on to suggest that the symptoms he is obviously suffering due to a car wreck were actually symptoms of Percocet withdrawal.
I like this strategy because I think everyone else is going to be focusing on the wreck itself.
My other Ace in the hole is to walk up to him and say, "Was the stop-light taller than THIS (raise hand high into the sky)? Was the kid in the crosswalk over HERE (walk to the right), or over HERE (walk to the left)? I'd like the jury to recognize that Mr. Brown, who alleges permanent neck stiffness and pain just looked UP, all the way Left, and all the way Right. Weird. Nothing Further.
I love being a lawyer.
Don't call me with fun things to do unless they are being done in SA. You just make me sad otherwise. I have a couch and a sleeping bag if you want to party on the weekends.
I have to go save the world now. And get my suit dry-cleaned.
I am busy like...too busy to think up an analogy.
Tonight I am trying out for External Advocacy Program. If I make it I get to go all over America talking shit and swallowing spit.
Tryout is a cross-examination about a car accident. My idea is to make the Plaintiff look like an drug addict. Excerpt:
-Q- "What exactly is a 'bunch' of muscle relaxers, Mr. Brown?"
-A- "Huh"
-Q- "According to your deposition, you took a 'bunch' of muscle relaxers, played tennis, drank 5-7 beers, and then missed work for a week, due to your pain. Is that true, Mr. Brown?"
-A- "Umm"
-Q- "Well, Mr. Brown, while you and I might call that a good time, a Dr. would call that DRUG ABUSE (gesture wildly)"
I then go on to suggest that the symptoms he is obviously suffering due to a car wreck were actually symptoms of Percocet withdrawal.
I like this strategy because I think everyone else is going to be focusing on the wreck itself.
My other Ace in the hole is to walk up to him and say, "Was the stop-light taller than THIS (raise hand high into the sky)? Was the kid in the crosswalk over HERE (walk to the right), or over HERE (walk to the left)? I'd like the jury to recognize that Mr. Brown, who alleges permanent neck stiffness and pain just looked UP, all the way Left, and all the way Right. Weird. Nothing Further.
I love being a lawyer.
Don't call me with fun things to do unless they are being done in SA. You just make me sad otherwise. I have a couch and a sleeping bag if you want to party on the weekends.
I have to go save the world now. And get my suit dry-cleaned.