Ker-pow!
Hello friends.
I've been home with the kids for a week now, barring one day of work last Tuesday. Unfortunately I'm not getting paid for this time off, as my job isn't quite organized enough to help its employees out when they can't work.
I'm home only because the kids' daycare is closed, following a decision by the Ministry of Education after the earthquake 8 days ago. Schools and ECE's (Early Childhood Education centers) should be open again on Monday, which will mean back to work for me.
The time has passed pretty well around the house. Rose and Ian have been brilliant, doing lots of good playing with each other, leaving Papa alone when need be (and in fact most of the time,) being polite, following requests, and throwing me random affection every so often to boot. Well done, guys! :) The first day or two were a bit rough, since they are used to Mummy bring their primary, but we all quickly adapted and learned what to expect from each other. And that's something you have to re-learn often, by the way, since they change so rapidly; you can really fall behind after not seeing much of your kids for only a week.
Michelle has had the car at work every day, so I've been stuck around the house, mostly. There's a mall within walking distance, and we've been a couple times. The kids enjoy going, but taking two kids and a baby on your own can go pretty badly and I haven't wanted to tempt fate. Plus, shopping is only so much fun when you haven't got any money to spend. :)
Instead I've been sticking around the house relaxing, catching up on some housework, and most of all spending time on the internet. Lots and lots and lots of time. *_* I went without the net for much of the last two years, so it's nice to finally catch up on interwubs. A lot has come and gone since I was last on here regularly. My friends list is extremely quiet these days, and not because I did a fairly big cleanout a while back. Many of my friends have just evaporated; I suppose they're all moving on with life as I have been, and we've all just got less free time and/or less motivation to write.
I've been gorging myself on the internet so much that I'm about to be sick of it, honestly. I'd trade a week's worth of web time for a few hours outdoors on a bike, or a hiking trail. I really itch to get outside, and it's an itch that rarely gets scratched. Maybe now that we've got two incomes it will be easier, although unfortunately Michelle now works some weekends.
*sigh*
One of the things I've been researching on the internet is martial arts in here Christchurch. I miss my days in karate; the exercise, self-improvement, and comraderie were all really nice. I'd like a way to get back in shape, something new to learn and focus on, and also a reason to get out of the house and do something nice for myself. A hobby like martial arts would fulfill all of that, I hope.
I initially looked at Krav Maga, because I've been interested in studying that one for quite some time. It's known for being perhaps the most brutally effective self-defense system invented, which appeals to me more than the more stylized Shotokan-Ryu Karate/Kobudo I studied. Shotokan focused mostly on striking/defending while standing, and half the work we did (or more) was spent on stylized routines rather than practical self-defense or even sparring. When we did get to sparring, we were just sorta thrown in and told to go at it. I suppose that's a valid training method, since you need to work with and around people's natural skills and reactions, but it just felt messy. We worked on and learned some strategy, but after watching a fair bit of MMA I can see that what we learned wouldn't stand us in good stead either on the street or in the ring. Sparring was restricted to light-contact striking/defending; takedowns were permitted but not taught, and when they were executed, if you didn't immediately score with a strike then the fighters were returned to their feet.
I have to say, sparring was fun, even if a bit scary. It makes a person nervous to confront being hurt or hurting someone else, especially when the person you're squared off against is a friend and colleague. It hurt for my friend Mike, for instance, to go off the way he did, charging around throwing full-force strikes in a match that's supposed to be no-contact or light-contact. He had more than a hundred pounds on me, and he was a former football player; in fact at 240-ish pounds, he was close to twice my weight, and it was intimidating and saddening to see him apparently full of rage and a desire to hurt me, even if it was just temporary. :/ Needless to say I survived the match, and the worst I got was a good blow to the stomach that was sore for a day or two. Still kind of a crazy memory, though.
And after Mike put me in survival mode, and when it seemed that people were gonna ignore the contact rules, I went on in my next match to almost hurt my friend Tejas pretty badly. I waited for an opportunity for a good roundhouse to the middle, and when it came, I really socked it in. (The karate team all cheered and groaned when we saw it later on replay.) I hit him pretty hard in the jaw too, twice, and afterwards I heard it popping and snapping as he tried to work it back into its usual socket. :/ Needless to say, sparring was exciting, but in that context not terribly safe or effective (especially since gloves were optional.)
It was exhilirating, though, and I think that better exposure in a better context would make it even more fun. Soooo, I'm looking around for a place to try some more out. As I mentioned above, I looked into Krav Maga first, and so far haven't found anyone teaching in in Christchurch who's properly accredited. My next two choices, then, have been Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Mixed Martial Arts. Both of these should teach heaps of practical skills nd hopefully involved a training and fitness structure that will keep me in shape and motivated.
Both should also equip me with real-world self-defense skills too, better than the ones that Shotokan left me with. Sure, I can strike and I know some joint locks, but common wisdom (however wise it may be) is that most fights end up on the ground, where I've got no skills at all. I don't feel like I've ever been in a true "fight" in my life, which I guess says good things about my avoidance strategies. But if a situation ever arises where I didn't have a choice about defending myself or someone else, there's a great big question mark hanging above my ability and willingness to do so.
This was brought partly into focus in June when I was assaulted at a gas station, something I don't think I've posted about until now. I was standing in line and a great big young guy started a bunch of crap; first shouting at me from his car, then intentionally bumping me and walking around saying "What you gonna do, huh? You wanna go?" with his body language; and when I just looked at him and didn't respond to any of it, he circled back around and boxed my ears from behind. I still didn't react, just kept standing in line until I got to the window and made my purchase. At the time I wasn't hurt and had avoided anything serious, so I didn't think much of what happened, but when I got home and told Michelle she was shocked and insisted I called the police.
Afterward I felt pretty bad about what happened. It's awful for someone to go out looking to hurt someone, especially when they target someone who they can see isn't nearly as big or as mean as them. At first I congratulated myself on doing the smart thing and avoiding conflict, and so did Michelle, but afterward I felt humiliated, and a bit helpless. I hated the feeling of injustice that just because I was smaller, and not wanting to hurt someone or get hurt myself, that this person got to do what he did and get away with it. I hate that he was able to bring violence into my life and get away with it freely.
Further martial arts study might help ease those feelings. I don't believe for a minute that I'll be the next Bruce Lee, or that my 140 pounds of fury will ever be equal to some rough 220-pound asshole who's bent on hurting me. But I'd like to feel better equipped, and who wouldn't? I mean, what if my behaviour toward the guy, which was basically submissive behaviour hadn't done the trick? From the way he was acting, either he was under the influence of something or else he was just one mean crazy fuck, so what if he had decided that my submissiveness and non-engagement wasn't enough? Kind of a scary thought, really, and again, there's that giant question mark for me.
I don't like feeling helpless. I don't like feeling uncertain. Above all, I HATE being submissive to anyone; there are few ways to make me angrier, faster, than for anyone to try to unfairly wield even the tiniest scrap of power over me, or to invade my sovereignty by so much as an inch.
I'd like to feel like the next time that happens, I'll be better prepared. I don't want to feel scared of people, or uncertain about my safety with them.
And more importantly, as I described above, I'd love to get out of the house every week and do something active, something I previously enjoyed heaps. :)
Anyway, that's my long post about not-much-of-anything. Talk at y'all later.
-Philip
I've been home with the kids for a week now, barring one day of work last Tuesday. Unfortunately I'm not getting paid for this time off, as my job isn't quite organized enough to help its employees out when they can't work.
I'm home only because the kids' daycare is closed, following a decision by the Ministry of Education after the earthquake 8 days ago. Schools and ECE's (Early Childhood Education centers) should be open again on Monday, which will mean back to work for me.
The time has passed pretty well around the house. Rose and Ian have been brilliant, doing lots of good playing with each other, leaving Papa alone when need be (and in fact most of the time,) being polite, following requests, and throwing me random affection every so often to boot. Well done, guys! :) The first day or two were a bit rough, since they are used to Mummy bring their primary, but we all quickly adapted and learned what to expect from each other. And that's something you have to re-learn often, by the way, since they change so rapidly; you can really fall behind after not seeing much of your kids for only a week.
Michelle has had the car at work every day, so I've been stuck around the house, mostly. There's a mall within walking distance, and we've been a couple times. The kids enjoy going, but taking two kids and a baby on your own can go pretty badly and I haven't wanted to tempt fate. Plus, shopping is only so much fun when you haven't got any money to spend. :)
Instead I've been sticking around the house relaxing, catching up on some housework, and most of all spending time on the internet. Lots and lots and lots of time. *_* I went without the net for much of the last two years, so it's nice to finally catch up on interwubs. A lot has come and gone since I was last on here regularly. My friends list is extremely quiet these days, and not because I did a fairly big cleanout a while back. Many of my friends have just evaporated; I suppose they're all moving on with life as I have been, and we've all just got less free time and/or less motivation to write.
I've been gorging myself on the internet so much that I'm about to be sick of it, honestly. I'd trade a week's worth of web time for a few hours outdoors on a bike, or a hiking trail. I really itch to get outside, and it's an itch that rarely gets scratched. Maybe now that we've got two incomes it will be easier, although unfortunately Michelle now works some weekends.
*sigh*
One of the things I've been researching on the internet is martial arts in here Christchurch. I miss my days in karate; the exercise, self-improvement, and comraderie were all really nice. I'd like a way to get back in shape, something new to learn and focus on, and also a reason to get out of the house and do something nice for myself. A hobby like martial arts would fulfill all of that, I hope.
I initially looked at Krav Maga, because I've been interested in studying that one for quite some time. It's known for being perhaps the most brutally effective self-defense system invented, which appeals to me more than the more stylized Shotokan-Ryu Karate/Kobudo I studied. Shotokan focused mostly on striking/defending while standing, and half the work we did (or more) was spent on stylized routines rather than practical self-defense or even sparring. When we did get to sparring, we were just sorta thrown in and told to go at it. I suppose that's a valid training method, since you need to work with and around people's natural skills and reactions, but it just felt messy. We worked on and learned some strategy, but after watching a fair bit of MMA I can see that what we learned wouldn't stand us in good stead either on the street or in the ring. Sparring was restricted to light-contact striking/defending; takedowns were permitted but not taught, and when they were executed, if you didn't immediately score with a strike then the fighters were returned to their feet.
I have to say, sparring was fun, even if a bit scary. It makes a person nervous to confront being hurt or hurting someone else, especially when the person you're squared off against is a friend and colleague. It hurt for my friend Mike, for instance, to go off the way he did, charging around throwing full-force strikes in a match that's supposed to be no-contact or light-contact. He had more than a hundred pounds on me, and he was a former football player; in fact at 240-ish pounds, he was close to twice my weight, and it was intimidating and saddening to see him apparently full of rage and a desire to hurt me, even if it was just temporary. :/ Needless to say I survived the match, and the worst I got was a good blow to the stomach that was sore for a day or two. Still kind of a crazy memory, though.
And after Mike put me in survival mode, and when it seemed that people were gonna ignore the contact rules, I went on in my next match to almost hurt my friend Tejas pretty badly. I waited for an opportunity for a good roundhouse to the middle, and when it came, I really socked it in. (The karate team all cheered and groaned when we saw it later on replay.) I hit him pretty hard in the jaw too, twice, and afterwards I heard it popping and snapping as he tried to work it back into its usual socket. :/ Needless to say, sparring was exciting, but in that context not terribly safe or effective (especially since gloves were optional.)
It was exhilirating, though, and I think that better exposure in a better context would make it even more fun. Soooo, I'm looking around for a place to try some more out. As I mentioned above, I looked into Krav Maga first, and so far haven't found anyone teaching in in Christchurch who's properly accredited. My next two choices, then, have been Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Mixed Martial Arts. Both of these should teach heaps of practical skills nd hopefully involved a training and fitness structure that will keep me in shape and motivated.
Both should also equip me with real-world self-defense skills too, better than the ones that Shotokan left me with. Sure, I can strike and I know some joint locks, but common wisdom (however wise it may be) is that most fights end up on the ground, where I've got no skills at all. I don't feel like I've ever been in a true "fight" in my life, which I guess says good things about my avoidance strategies. But if a situation ever arises where I didn't have a choice about defending myself or someone else, there's a great big question mark hanging above my ability and willingness to do so.
This was brought partly into focus in June when I was assaulted at a gas station, something I don't think I've posted about until now. I was standing in line and a great big young guy started a bunch of crap; first shouting at me from his car, then intentionally bumping me and walking around saying "What you gonna do, huh? You wanna go?" with his body language; and when I just looked at him and didn't respond to any of it, he circled back around and boxed my ears from behind. I still didn't react, just kept standing in line until I got to the window and made my purchase. At the time I wasn't hurt and had avoided anything serious, so I didn't think much of what happened, but when I got home and told Michelle she was shocked and insisted I called the police.
Afterward I felt pretty bad about what happened. It's awful for someone to go out looking to hurt someone, especially when they target someone who they can see isn't nearly as big or as mean as them. At first I congratulated myself on doing the smart thing and avoiding conflict, and so did Michelle, but afterward I felt humiliated, and a bit helpless. I hated the feeling of injustice that just because I was smaller, and not wanting to hurt someone or get hurt myself, that this person got to do what he did and get away with it. I hate that he was able to bring violence into my life and get away with it freely.
Further martial arts study might help ease those feelings. I don't believe for a minute that I'll be the next Bruce Lee, or that my 140 pounds of fury will ever be equal to some rough 220-pound asshole who's bent on hurting me. But I'd like to feel better equipped, and who wouldn't? I mean, what if my behaviour toward the guy, which was basically submissive behaviour hadn't done the trick? From the way he was acting, either he was under the influence of something or else he was just one mean crazy fuck, so what if he had decided that my submissiveness and non-engagement wasn't enough? Kind of a scary thought, really, and again, there's that giant question mark for me.
I don't like feeling helpless. I don't like feeling uncertain. Above all, I HATE being submissive to anyone; there are few ways to make me angrier, faster, than for anyone to try to unfairly wield even the tiniest scrap of power over me, or to invade my sovereignty by so much as an inch.
I'd like to feel like the next time that happens, I'll be better prepared. I don't want to feel scared of people, or uncertain about my safety with them.
And more importantly, as I described above, I'd love to get out of the house every week and do something active, something I previously enjoyed heaps. :)
Anyway, that's my long post about not-much-of-anything. Talk at y'all later.
-Philip