Home
I was home, now I am home. It was great to be back in Salt Lake City. Now I am back in San Francisco and it amazes me how easy it is to get back into the same patterns.
It was great to see my family and friends. I also started eating some meat in this last week.
I am trying to start a new pattern. I woke up early this morning, 6am, and did 3 pages of free writing. Then I went for a run up to Lafayette Park. The view of San Francisco with the early morning sun and chilly mist drifting around the buildings was lovely. I came home and cooked some food, eggs, zucchini, tomato, avocado, and toast with pb&j. I just got out of the shower and I'm ready to work on my homework for two hours before I have to go to class.
Today I will give my 30 days notice to move out of my apartment. Then I will either find a job and a new place here, or move back to Salt Lake City and regroup.
The work I need to do in order to finish my program here, I am not doing. In theory it is simple. I put together a new proposal for my thesis with some supplemental artwork. I finish my assignments for my classes, and I put all my effort into my final projects. I do really want to finish up this thing I started. In my adult life I have never had trouble with motivation or doing work before now. I'm sure getting out of the apartment would help.
I started reading a book called The Artist's Way. It is about letting your creativity flow without your ugly censor getting in the way. Put the ego aside and let the work fill itself up. It is hard to let go of that censor. It is like a dysfunctional relationship. Your ego is safe and comfortable not having to risk anything by not doing anything.
How can you get so far from what is really important to you in life? My friends... my family... My goal of becoming an animator halted, changed shifted...
All in all, this is my new hero.
It was great to see my family and friends. I also started eating some meat in this last week.
I am trying to start a new pattern. I woke up early this morning, 6am, and did 3 pages of free writing. Then I went for a run up to Lafayette Park. The view of San Francisco with the early morning sun and chilly mist drifting around the buildings was lovely. I came home and cooked some food, eggs, zucchini, tomato, avocado, and toast with pb&j. I just got out of the shower and I'm ready to work on my homework for two hours before I have to go to class.
Today I will give my 30 days notice to move out of my apartment. Then I will either find a job and a new place here, or move back to Salt Lake City and regroup.
The work I need to do in order to finish my program here, I am not doing. In theory it is simple. I put together a new proposal for my thesis with some supplemental artwork. I finish my assignments for my classes, and I put all my effort into my final projects. I do really want to finish up this thing I started. In my adult life I have never had trouble with motivation or doing work before now. I'm sure getting out of the apartment would help.
I started reading a book called The Artist's Way. It is about letting your creativity flow without your ugly censor getting in the way. Put the ego aside and let the work fill itself up. It is hard to let go of that censor. It is like a dysfunctional relationship. Your ego is safe and comfortable not having to risk anything by not doing anything.
How can you get so far from what is really important to you in life? My friends... my family... My goal of becoming an animator halted, changed shifted...
All in all, this is my new hero.