(no subject)

[phibaby06]

all of you did exactly what i thought you would do. i cant even express myself without people getting defensive. ok i did appreciate the card. i read it everyday jasmine. it was a fucking post that i wrote to get some shit off my chest about the world and my feelings. damn i mean what else am i supposed to write? about what club i went to or what dude i met? what the fuck! there is alot more that i would love to say about a person in particular but id rather not because i dont want to piss anyone else off. i said something about tiffanie because i think sheis bogus and rashonda knows what im talking about. tiff left my present at school over night and forgot that i even got her anything. ok it wasnt from the mall or was a million dollars but at least i thought about people. you all dont see what i see. who has given me some REAL advice? who has called me and said "phi, i just wanna talk to you and see how you are". if it were me in the situation, i would try first before saying that i cant do anything else. if people would call me and act like they cared outside of school maybe i would open up. maybe i would spill everything and maybe someone would understand and want to help me get over what it is that is bothering me. at graduation, i will cry, and i hope its because i will miss everyone and not only because im glad to get the hell out of here. here being my house, this life that im living and all this fucking fakeness and drama.
i dont even know what to write in my box. what the fuck should i say? thanks for everything?

yall dont know but its hard waking up everyday not knowing whether or not i want to be alive anymore.