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Soooooo...yea. Hi.
I don't think my anti-dpressants are working all too well. They do work cause I've been a little less depressed...but I'm stil not very good.
Mainly...I feel insignifigant...like nothing I do or say... has any value. No one fucking cares. Most of you don't even listen, much less take what I say to heart. Nothing works anymore. And you know...nothing is about me anymore. Which I know "Not everything is about you" but goddamn...when did it get to a point where I'm ignored?
I make people laugh...that's all I fucking do. That's all any of you care about. But when it comes down to it...it doesn't fucking matter anymore.
And you know...the people who make me feel heard are people who I see once a week. And Stephanie...but that's just cause she's awsome.
And to those of you who think you have any fucking idea what I'm feeling or what I'm thinking, you can go fuck yourself up the ass with a razorblade didldo. You guys don't know shit (This isn't to everyone...just selected ones). You think you know me? You think you have any idea? You didn't know how to handle me before so what the fuck makes you think that you know anything about me? Any god damn thing? So all the talking you did behind my back yesterday (and don't you dare act like you didn't. I know you guys more than you know yourselves) you can shove back down your throats. I hope you all fall flat on your faces. I want one of you to dioe...I don't care who...just one of you.
I want to break. My life isn't grey and it isn't black...and sure as fuck isn't white...It's somewhere between the grey and black...and I can't seem to rise above it and now I'm tired of trying...I want to fall. I want to break. I want something to destroy me. leave me empty. Leave me with just enough to breath. I don't want my strength anymore. Throw me into the abyss. I'm tired of this drak grey haze and I want it gone. I want my drugs back...
I don't think my anti-dpressants are working all too well. They do work cause I've been a little less depressed...but I'm stil not very good.
Mainly...I feel insignifigant...like nothing I do or say... has any value. No one fucking cares. Most of you don't even listen, much less take what I say to heart. Nothing works anymore. And you know...nothing is about me anymore. Which I know "Not everything is about you" but goddamn...when did it get to a point where I'm ignored?
I make people laugh...that's all I fucking do. That's all any of you care about. But when it comes down to it...it doesn't fucking matter anymore.
And you know...the people who make me feel heard are people who I see once a week. And Stephanie...but that's just cause she's awsome.
And to those of you who think you have any fucking idea what I'm feeling or what I'm thinking, you can go fuck yourself up the ass with a razorblade didldo. You guys don't know shit (This isn't to everyone...just selected ones). You think you know me? You think you have any idea? You didn't know how to handle me before so what the fuck makes you think that you know anything about me? Any god damn thing? So all the talking you did behind my back yesterday (and don't you dare act like you didn't. I know you guys more than you know yourselves) you can shove back down your throats. I hope you all fall flat on your faces. I want one of you to dioe...I don't care who...just one of you.
I want to break. My life isn't grey and it isn't black...and sure as fuck isn't white...It's somewhere between the grey and black...and I can't seem to rise above it and now I'm tired of trying...I want to fall. I want to break. I want something to destroy me. leave me empty. Leave me with just enough to breath. I don't want my strength anymore. Throw me into the abyss. I'm tired of this drak grey haze and I want it gone. I want my drugs back...