Geez

[pheonixflyer]

Why am I always fucked over with male relationships? I put my trust and faith into them and. . .yeah my emotions are toyed with. I hate it. Why should I care? Why do I care? The one person who notible calls me a cold-hearted bitch the most envokes this from me. Why? He says he cares. I highly doubt it. All of my other friends message me, call me, and really care about what's all going on with me. They ask what's going on. They care. I know they do. I love them for that. I feel used. In fact I think that was the case. I just happend to be lucky in the fact that I will be far, far away from here so I can forget about everything. Thank goodness for distance. It helped me out the last time. I can count on it again. I promised myself that if someone had ever hurt me again like certain past "friends" (that I actually have now and we're doing great with our own lives now and we can still manage to talk to eachother Julie/Paola/Patsy/Sam/Samantha/Rachel((even though I didn't know at the time how bad that could have gone))) that I would do what I did the first time and ignore them and let us go our separate ways because what went down was just horrible. It always worked out in the end. We all ended up getting what we wanted minus the heartache. It'll be fine. I am sure with this.

The Engine Driver Lyrics
Artist(Band):The Decemberists

I'm an engine driver
On a long run, on a long run
Would I were beside her
She's a long one, such a long one

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

I'm a county lineman
On the high line, on the high line
So will be my grandson
There are powerlines in our bloodlines

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
My bones
My bones

I'm a money lender
I have fortunes upon fortunes
Take my hand for tender
I am tortured, ever tortured

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
I am a writer, I am all that you have hoped on

And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
My bones
My bones

(And if you don't love me let me go)
And if you don't love me let me go
(And if you don't love me let me go)
And if you don't love me let me go