O Livejournal, I have not forgotten you
Looking back on this is bizarre because, as much as I have changed since senior year, in that I like to think I'm far less petty and superficial, and my music taste is certainly more snobby and less emo (twee pop and post-hardcore), and i've certainly had experiences far more significant than getting behind on my homework or not having the perfect birthday party, it's interesting to see just how many of the unhealthy/immature patterns documented here I have fallen back into in college.
Life is different now. I have different friends, a different relationship with my family, a very different sense of myself and my life goals. Still, I do often wander back into the self reflected here. The self who is cynical. The self who is unapologetically self-indulgent. The self who'd rather read and write about saving the world than actually go out and save it.
And so in college I am faced with the eternal question of Art vs. Science, even though the Science, in my case, would clearly be Social. Should I major in english and make myself write. Hone a craft I always imagined was mine but never followed through on? Should I major in Hist and Lit and really pursue India. Become proficient in the languages of the subcontinent so that I may become a scholar of that part of the world? Or should I major in a social science, keeping language on the periphery, and studying comparative government, and that dreaded thing, economics! Will I ever let go of my childish fantasies of becoming a traveling Peter Pan with better cultural navigation tools, or even better, a CIA agent? Which aspirations are practical? Or can I, as an artistic minded person, really afford to stray from the practical and still fullfill petty but unbanishable desires?
Life is different now. I have different friends, a different relationship with my family, a very different sense of myself and my life goals. Still, I do often wander back into the self reflected here. The self who is cynical. The self who is unapologetically self-indulgent. The self who'd rather read and write about saving the world than actually go out and save it.
And so in college I am faced with the eternal question of Art vs. Science, even though the Science, in my case, would clearly be Social. Should I major in english and make myself write. Hone a craft I always imagined was mine but never followed through on? Should I major in Hist and Lit and really pursue India. Become proficient in the languages of the subcontinent so that I may become a scholar of that part of the world? Or should I major in a social science, keeping language on the periphery, and studying comparative government, and that dreaded thing, economics! Will I ever let go of my childish fantasies of becoming a traveling Peter Pan with better cultural navigation tools, or even better, a CIA agent? Which aspirations are practical? Or can I, as an artistic minded person, really afford to stray from the practical and still fullfill petty but unbanishable desires?