Oh, Inverted World.
Ever have an identity crisis?
Alright, it's not a crisis, but it's more like a nonchalant "Okay, who is Sarah Rogers today?" You see, since the latter years of adolescence, I've wondered who the heck I am. I seem to judge myself a lot by the relationships I'm in -- relations with friends, boyfriends, family members. Lately, I've been pretty lonely, so without these social clues as to who I am, I'm getting lost.
I don't want you to feel sorry for me in the least. I think this little break from masses of friendships and lovers is good for me, because I'm starting to look to myself a lot more. But the fact that I've never really stepped back and looked at myself, the real me, is rather startling, and I'm not liking a lot of what I see -- namely my reliance on social interaction. But man is a social beast, so I am I thinking about this all wrong?
Maybe this whole thing is just too abstract to even worry about. I just feel like I haven't been enjoying life as much, at least in the ways I used to. And I think it has to do with my social life. And lack of a prominent social life is leading me to question my worth, I suppose. And question myself, my interests, my intelligence, my needs, my hopes and dreams, my naivety -- all of it as a whole. Who am I?
This is pretty deep for someone who never updates.