HEY!!!!
I havent updated this son of a bitch since January!
I'm going to start using it again, so most definitely stay tuned or i'll cut you.
In the past few months I've been quite busy. I got a job, just quit. I had a boyfriend, we broke up. I had an apartment, I moved. I became a brain surgeon, but lost my liscence to practice medicine because of the baby gorilla incident, which really was not my fault but those bastards will never let me live it down!
I wrote an obituary for Chris (THE X bwahahahahaha!) I'd like to share it with you all.
Somerfield, Christopher Derrick;
Christopher “Crispy” Somerfield, creator of the “Damn You Desk Clerk!” series, was found dead on Tuesday July 22, 2059, in his upper Beverly hills home. Literally stumbled upon by his roommate, Dan Delledonne, it was immediately thought of as a practical joke. He was found with his finger in his belly button, beneath a tattoo that read “NO TOUCHIE”. Though the cause of his death remains unknown, close friends and family members have begun to celebrate the accomplishments of the late Director. Having grown up in Ontario, Canada, Christopher believed that his ambitions to become a filmmaker were merely a pipe dream. However, his focus and determination took him farther than he had ever imagined. Working alongside his colleague and former childhood friend Alicia Joan Faucher, they created many scripts and films that would go on to win several festival awards. His breakthrough, however, was in an acting part that he gave himself in his film “Neighbours and Knives”. Winning the award for “best actor in a silent and deadly film” at the Tarentino Film Festival, gave him the freedom (and funding) to create his visions. Shortly after he met and wed his first wife, designer/child actress Mary-Kate Olsen. They divorced after 3 years due to Mary-Kate’s anorexia and failure to produce any Somerfield offspring. This led to a case study on anorexia by his close friend Amy Holmes, followed by a breif romance. Christopher’s second marriage to Gilmore Girl Alexis Bledel, resulted in 2 children and a lot of alimony. Christopher had decided that he would always be a bachelor, which paved the way for his on and off romances with several porn stars including Jenna Jameson as well as Ron Jeremy. His son ran off to be in a gay burlesque show, while his daughter went on to believe that her father was Joshua Jackson. They do not know he’s dead. Investing in a “party pad” with his best friend Dan Delledonne, they went on together to create and run the series “Damn you desk clerk!”. His younger brother and last surviving relative, Kameron Brodhagen, has asked that the body be flown back to Ontario, where a ceremony will be held three weeks from Wednesday. Kameron has asked that any models, actresses, or porn stars that will be flying up, stay with him in his large Port Dalhousie home. As well, Ms. Faucher will be excepting donations towards CDS Productions, also known as “Crispy Films Ltd”. The funeral is open to general public, excluding Dustin Hammond.
Don't hate, just over exaggerate!
Lots of love in your general directions,
A L I C I A!!!
I'm going to start using it again, so most definitely stay tuned or i'll cut you.
In the past few months I've been quite busy. I got a job, just quit. I had a boyfriend, we broke up. I had an apartment, I moved. I became a brain surgeon, but lost my liscence to practice medicine because of the baby gorilla incident, which really was not my fault but those bastards will never let me live it down!
I wrote an obituary for Chris (THE X bwahahahahaha!) I'd like to share it with you all.
Somerfield, Christopher Derrick;
Christopher “Crispy” Somerfield, creator of the “Damn You Desk Clerk!” series, was found dead on Tuesday July 22, 2059, in his upper Beverly hills home. Literally stumbled upon by his roommate, Dan Delledonne, it was immediately thought of as a practical joke. He was found with his finger in his belly button, beneath a tattoo that read “NO TOUCHIE”. Though the cause of his death remains unknown, close friends and family members have begun to celebrate the accomplishments of the late Director. Having grown up in Ontario, Canada, Christopher believed that his ambitions to become a filmmaker were merely a pipe dream. However, his focus and determination took him farther than he had ever imagined. Working alongside his colleague and former childhood friend Alicia Joan Faucher, they created many scripts and films that would go on to win several festival awards. His breakthrough, however, was in an acting part that he gave himself in his film “Neighbours and Knives”. Winning the award for “best actor in a silent and deadly film” at the Tarentino Film Festival, gave him the freedom (and funding) to create his visions. Shortly after he met and wed his first wife, designer/child actress Mary-Kate Olsen. They divorced after 3 years due to Mary-Kate’s anorexia and failure to produce any Somerfield offspring. This led to a case study on anorexia by his close friend Amy Holmes, followed by a breif romance. Christopher’s second marriage to Gilmore Girl Alexis Bledel, resulted in 2 children and a lot of alimony. Christopher had decided that he would always be a bachelor, which paved the way for his on and off romances with several porn stars including Jenna Jameson as well as Ron Jeremy. His son ran off to be in a gay burlesque show, while his daughter went on to believe that her father was Joshua Jackson. They do not know he’s dead. Investing in a “party pad” with his best friend Dan Delledonne, they went on together to create and run the series “Damn you desk clerk!”. His younger brother and last surviving relative, Kameron Brodhagen, has asked that the body be flown back to Ontario, where a ceremony will be held three weeks from Wednesday. Kameron has asked that any models, actresses, or porn stars that will be flying up, stay with him in his large Port Dalhousie home. As well, Ms. Faucher will be excepting donations towards CDS Productions, also known as “Crispy Films Ltd”. The funeral is open to general public, excluding Dustin Hammond.
Don't hate, just over exaggerate!
Lots of love in your general directions,
A L I C I A!!!