For Katelyn's eyes only. (Not really.)
Man: Well, I've never seen you here before!
Penny: That's 'cause I'm new. My name's Penny.
Man: Penny, eh? Is that your real name, Penny?
Penny: Yes.
Man: Well, I'll bet it is! So, can you--can you see me, Penny, or is this a one-way mirror?
Penny: I can see you, sir.
Man: Good, heh. That's the way I like it. You--you a Portland girl, Penny?
Penny: No, I'm from California.
Man: Oh, Cali! I lived in Frisco for a while. San Fran. They call that the city that never sleeps!
Penny: Oh...Um, did you want me to take my shirt off or anything, sir?
Man: Oh no, you're just perfect like that, Penny. So what part of Cali did you live in? SoCal?
Hahaha...hahahaha...haha--GASP!
Woman 1: Did you want to mail that...First Class?
Woman 2: Oh no, bookrate.
Woman 1: Really? Feels a little light to be books. Are you sure it isn't cloth or clothing?
Woman 2: Ohhhh...it is a cloth book. I make washable art books--for--children--ah--
Woman 1: You have a child! Well then, you know what I'm talking about.
Woman 2: D--Do I have a child? Yes, her name is--Penny.
Woman 1: H--how old is she?
Woman 2: S....She's twelve. Oh...I thought you meant how many children do I have. Have--twelve--children... Um...I adopted them all last year. It's part of a program for--for bookmakers LIKE MYSELF. So that--that would be bookrate on that.
Sorry I couldn't really transcribe all the orgasmic noises?
Hahahaha...haha--GASP!
Penny: How am I driving so far? I first started ly--I mean, driving--when I was five s--five years old. And since I was just a little girl, I just told little--drove short distances in a little car. It was a kiddie car. My mom would say to me, "Penny...you need to stop driving and start playing." She wanted me to play with a ball or swing on a swing. We had a little swing hanging off of the big tree in the yard, it was a kiddie swing. She would say, "Penny...if you don't stop driving, you're gonna end up armless and legless. And then what will you do?" And I would say, "Mom...you should know. I am alert. I am very, very careful."
Man: So what part of Cali did you say you were from?
Penny: Um...I'm from the Bay Area.
Man: Oh, really! Whereabouts?
Penny: I'm from Berkeley.
Man: Oh, small world! I graduated UC Berkeley! What street did you live on?
Penny: Um...did you--did you want me to bend over or anything, sir?
Man: Oh no, you're just perfect like that, princess. So what street did you say you lived on?
Penny Um, I--I didn't, heh. What street did you live on, sir?
Penny: The thing about walking as compared to driving is that when you're walking you really don't know what's going to happen to you. You can trip and fall, or get hit by a rock! Or like this one time, when I was walking to the store to get a soda, I saw this kid up ahead of me on a tricycle. I didn't think anything. I just thought, "Kid on a trike." And then the kid turns around and it's oh no...I knew I'd see this someday, but why today? I just wanted a soda! The kid has no face! He's FACELESS! It's just smooth and bald, like a blank space to fill in, like--like learn to draw a face! I knew I'd see it someday, the kid with no face on a trike, but why today? I just wanted a soda! And somehow I can tell that he is laughing at me, even with no mouth and no sound and no eyes...it is his chin. His chin is shaking in the rhythm of laughter: "Hahahahahaha!"
It is terrifying.
But I know exactly what to do. If he is the kid with no face on a trike, then I know who I am. He IS the kid with no face on a trike, I know who I am. If he is the kid with no face on a trike, then I must be...the terrified person! And I know exactly what to do. I turn around and ran back down the block. I got in my car and started driving. And...well...as you can can see...I never stopped! Here I am...driving along...lying my ass off.
Penny: So what street did you live on?
Man: I lived on...Blake Street.
Penny: That's my street! I grew up on that street. Wh...How--how do you know about me?
Man: Whoa there, princess! I don't know anything about you. I just came in for a show.
Penny: Well...did you live in a house or an apartment on Blake Street?
Man: Who, me? ...Why don't you bend over now, Penny, I'd like to see the rear view.
Penny: Okay... Did you live in a house or an apartment?
Penny: H--How am I driving so far? (Hahahaha--GASP!) The thing about walking as compared to driving is that when you're walking you don't know what's going to happen to you. You can trip, or fall, or you can get hit by a rock, or a car or a person can hit you, can yell at your ass? But while I am driving, I always know that I am going to die in a car crash. And that is so simple. It just makes me feel relaxed, like I can be myself. Me? I am going blind, but I am holding with drugs. You see me? I see fine. You see? I seem fine. You say, "How is your 'medical condition'? Did the doctors ever 'clear that up'?"
I say, "B-b-bell a as clear, yourself for s--no. Bell a as clear, yourself f--no."
I say, "SEE FOR YOURSELF, CLEAR AS A BELL!" But...you should know! I am...going blind! I am...ALERT! And I am...withholding drugs! No...I am holding...with drugs, like...Dexamethasone, Sulfacetamide, Prednisolone, Tobramiacin, Ciprofloxacin, Eurithromyacin, triceratops, Dexamethasone and all the dinosaurs, Apollo 13, Sulfacetamide, sky-and-telescope, Sasquatch-in-the-snow, NASA cover-up, stegosaurus, tyrannosaurus rex, Dexamethasone...
Bell, a, as clear, yourself for see. H...h...how am I driving?
Penny: Did you live in a house or an apartment on Blake Street?
Man: Who...me? I lived in a house. Did you live in a house, Penny?
Penny: I...can't answer any more questions, sir. What colour was the house?
Man: The...house was... What colour was your house, Penny?
Penny: No, I can't answer questions. Coul--Could you please go first?
Man: The house was...blue and white.
Penny: People ask me, they say, "Penny, don't you think it's a little unhealthy driving all the time? I mean, you drive to everyone, even strangers. You could be driving to me right now and I wouldn't even know it!" And I say, "You are right. I'm gonna pull over right now and get out of the car and start walking. And I'm gonna walk, and walk, and walk, and walk..."
Man: The house was blue and white, with a big tree in the front yard and a little swing hanging off the tree. Hahahaha. It was a kiddie swing.
Penny: Yeah, that was my swing! I lived in that house. If you're the man who lived in the blue-and-white house, then I must be... If you're the man who lived in the blue-and-white house then I must be hahahahaha...
Man: It's a small, small world, Penny.
Penny: Don't call me Penny. You know who I am. And you are way too close, sir. Could you please step away from the glass?
Penny: ...and walk, and walk. And I'm gonna keep on walking until I find myself. Hahahahaha. Just kidding. But seriously, I've been driving for so long now that I am armless and legless. But you should know. I am alert. And I am very, very careful. Every second of every hour of every day of my life. And you can be, too! Clowns never lie. And I don't, either.
Man: Are you interested in a live fantasy show, sir?
Penny: Why, yes I am interested. I've never seen you here before.
Man: That's 'cause I'm new. My name's Penny.
Penny: Penny, eh? Is that your real name, Penny?
Man: Yes.
Penny: Well, I'll bet it is. So, can you see me, Penny, or is this a one-way mirror?
Man: I can see you, sir.
Penny: Good. That's the way I like it. You a Portland girl, Penny?
Man: Yes, I am...born and raised.
'Kay, now I'm blind and my arms want to fall off.
Penny: That's 'cause I'm new. My name's Penny.
Man: Penny, eh? Is that your real name, Penny?
Penny: Yes.
Man: Well, I'll bet it is! So, can you--can you see me, Penny, or is this a one-way mirror?
Penny: I can see you, sir.
Man: Good, heh. That's the way I like it. You--you a Portland girl, Penny?
Penny: No, I'm from California.
Man: Oh, Cali! I lived in Frisco for a while. San Fran. They call that the city that never sleeps!
Penny: Oh...Um, did you want me to take my shirt off or anything, sir?
Man: Oh no, you're just perfect like that, Penny. So what part of Cali did you live in? SoCal?
Hahaha...hahahaha...haha--GASP!
Woman 1: Did you want to mail that...First Class?
Woman 2: Oh no, bookrate.
Woman 1: Really? Feels a little light to be books. Are you sure it isn't cloth or clothing?
Woman 2: Ohhhh...it is a cloth book. I make washable art books--for--children--ah--
Woman 1: You have a child! Well then, you know what I'm talking about.
Woman 2: D--Do I have a child? Yes, her name is--Penny.
Woman 1: H--how old is she?
Woman 2: S....She's twelve. Oh...I thought you meant how many children do I have. Have--twelve--children... Um...I adopted them all last year. It's part of a program for--for bookmakers LIKE MYSELF. So that--that would be bookrate on that.
Sorry I couldn't really transcribe all the orgasmic noises?
Hahahaha...haha--GASP!
Penny: How am I driving so far? I first started ly--I mean, driving--when I was five s--five years old. And since I was just a little girl, I just told little--drove short distances in a little car. It was a kiddie car. My mom would say to me, "Penny...you need to stop driving and start playing." She wanted me to play with a ball or swing on a swing. We had a little swing hanging off of the big tree in the yard, it was a kiddie swing. She would say, "Penny...if you don't stop driving, you're gonna end up armless and legless. And then what will you do?" And I would say, "Mom...you should know. I am alert. I am very, very careful."
Man: So what part of Cali did you say you were from?
Penny: Um...I'm from the Bay Area.
Man: Oh, really! Whereabouts?
Penny: I'm from Berkeley.
Man: Oh, small world! I graduated UC Berkeley! What street did you live on?
Penny: Um...did you--did you want me to bend over or anything, sir?
Man: Oh no, you're just perfect like that, princess. So what street did you say you lived on?
Penny Um, I--I didn't, heh. What street did you live on, sir?
Penny: The thing about walking as compared to driving is that when you're walking you really don't know what's going to happen to you. You can trip and fall, or get hit by a rock! Or like this one time, when I was walking to the store to get a soda, I saw this kid up ahead of me on a tricycle. I didn't think anything. I just thought, "Kid on a trike." And then the kid turns around and it's oh no...I knew I'd see this someday, but why today? I just wanted a soda! The kid has no face! He's FACELESS! It's just smooth and bald, like a blank space to fill in, like--like learn to draw a face! I knew I'd see it someday, the kid with no face on a trike, but why today? I just wanted a soda! And somehow I can tell that he is laughing at me, even with no mouth and no sound and no eyes...it is his chin. His chin is shaking in the rhythm of laughter: "Hahahahahaha!"
It is terrifying.
But I know exactly what to do. If he is the kid with no face on a trike, then I know who I am. He IS the kid with no face on a trike, I know who I am. If he is the kid with no face on a trike, then I must be...the terrified person! And I know exactly what to do. I turn around and ran back down the block. I got in my car and started driving. And...well...as you can can see...I never stopped! Here I am...driving along...lying my ass off.
Penny: So what street did you live on?
Man: I lived on...Blake Street.
Penny: That's my street! I grew up on that street. Wh...How--how do you know about me?
Man: Whoa there, princess! I don't know anything about you. I just came in for a show.
Penny: Well...did you live in a house or an apartment on Blake Street?
Man: Who, me? ...Why don't you bend over now, Penny, I'd like to see the rear view.
Penny: Okay... Did you live in a house or an apartment?
Penny: H--How am I driving so far? (Hahahaha--GASP!) The thing about walking as compared to driving is that when you're walking you don't know what's going to happen to you. You can trip, or fall, or you can get hit by a rock, or a car or a person can hit you, can yell at your ass? But while I am driving, I always know that I am going to die in a car crash. And that is so simple. It just makes me feel relaxed, like I can be myself. Me? I am going blind, but I am holding with drugs. You see me? I see fine. You see? I seem fine. You say, "How is your 'medical condition'? Did the doctors ever 'clear that up'?"
I say, "B-b-bell a as clear, yourself for s--no. Bell a as clear, yourself f--no."
I say, "SEE FOR YOURSELF, CLEAR AS A BELL!" But...you should know! I am...going blind! I am...ALERT! And I am...withholding drugs! No...I am holding...with drugs, like...Dexamethasone, Sulfacetamide, Prednisolone, Tobramiacin, Ciprofloxacin, Eurithromyacin, triceratops, Dexamethasone and all the dinosaurs, Apollo 13, Sulfacetamide, sky-and-telescope, Sasquatch-in-the-snow, NASA cover-up, stegosaurus, tyrannosaurus rex, Dexamethasone...
Bell, a, as clear, yourself for see. H...h...how am I driving?
Penny: Did you live in a house or an apartment on Blake Street?
Man: Who...me? I lived in a house. Did you live in a house, Penny?
Penny: I...can't answer any more questions, sir. What colour was the house?
Man: The...house was... What colour was your house, Penny?
Penny: No, I can't answer questions. Coul--Could you please go first?
Man: The house was...blue and white.
Penny: People ask me, they say, "Penny, don't you think it's a little unhealthy driving all the time? I mean, you drive to everyone, even strangers. You could be driving to me right now and I wouldn't even know it!" And I say, "You are right. I'm gonna pull over right now and get out of the car and start walking. And I'm gonna walk, and walk, and walk, and walk..."
Man: The house was blue and white, with a big tree in the front yard and a little swing hanging off the tree. Hahahaha. It was a kiddie swing.
Penny: Yeah, that was my swing! I lived in that house. If you're the man who lived in the blue-and-white house, then I must be... If you're the man who lived in the blue-and-white house then I must be hahahahaha...
Man: It's a small, small world, Penny.
Penny: Don't call me Penny. You know who I am. And you are way too close, sir. Could you please step away from the glass?
Penny: ...and walk, and walk. And I'm gonna keep on walking until I find myself. Hahahahaha. Just kidding. But seriously, I've been driving for so long now that I am armless and legless. But you should know. I am alert. And I am very, very careful. Every second of every hour of every day of my life. And you can be, too! Clowns never lie. And I don't, either.
Man: Are you interested in a live fantasy show, sir?
Penny: Why, yes I am interested. I've never seen you here before.
Man: That's 'cause I'm new. My name's Penny.
Penny: Penny, eh? Is that your real name, Penny?
Man: Yes.
Penny: Well, I'll bet it is. So, can you see me, Penny, or is this a one-way mirror?
Man: I can see you, sir.
Penny: Good. That's the way I like it. You a Portland girl, Penny?
Man: Yes, I am...born and raised.
'Kay, now I'm blind and my arms want to fall off.