Blind something
So... I officially met him tonight- meaning Brandon- yes I saw his concert, yes we've been talking for more than a month- but he came to visit me over coffee this evening. Yes, maybe, infatuation has set in. It's a shame I won't do anything about it. That whole heart part of me is still stuck somewhere else :-( But, at the very least I've now had face to face conversation and no longer feel so weird talking to him. He's an amazing guy... just can't compete with a year of something real.
I promised myself that I wouldn't let myself hold back, that things were really over, but I keep holding out.
I got the answer I've been waiting for tonight, verbally, but I need actions to go with it. I told myself and him that I wouldn't wait around anymore for him to straighten himself out... so why can't I be more positive towards meeting someone awesome???
I'm happy though. Happy. Talking to Brandon makes me feel more alive than I have in months. I feel real again. But I won't let it go anywhere until I'm sure there's no hope. Hope is a dangerous ally and even more detrimental when it fails.
How much time will it take? How long before I can stop feeling as though I'm betraying him by expressing interest in someone else?
I promised myself that I wouldn't let myself hold back, that things were really over, but I keep holding out.
I got the answer I've been waiting for tonight, verbally, but I need actions to go with it. I told myself and him that I wouldn't wait around anymore for him to straighten himself out... so why can't I be more positive towards meeting someone awesome???
I'm happy though. Happy. Talking to Brandon makes me feel more alive than I have in months. I feel real again. But I won't let it go anywhere until I'm sure there's no hope. Hope is a dangerous ally and even more detrimental when it fails.
How much time will it take? How long before I can stop feeling as though I'm betraying him by expressing interest in someone else?