Rant on myself
So this week has been well, interesting. It's got me thinking. The major was ok, Rookie night was ok, rehreasals are still really fun.
School is ok. I had a HUGE essay due today and it's done and i feel VERY good that it's done. i've been very stressed lately without a printer. It's frustrating.
I applied for a job this summer and i haven't heard back yet and other people have. I'm curious as to why i haven't heard because i'm PERFECT for it. SO i'm going to talk to the administrator tomorrow (i tried today but she wasn't there... twice). I just wish i knew why i wasn't being considered. There is no reason for it as far as i can see.
Today, in acting we had to do something in 10 minutes for the class and i was REALLY stressed. for no reason. like i was FREAKING out. and my group members were like.. "why are you so stressed?". I have no idea.
I've been to the gym almost everyday, and as great as i'm feeling about going to the gym, i still can't wear any of my pants. i need to find a way to get rid of my gut. I know i'm safe from an eating disorder though because i don't have the eating self-control. My room is a mess and i haven't fixed my calendar yet and that's WEIRD for me. I think i'll do it tomorrow afternoon. yes, definately tomorrow afternoon.
My birthday is on Sunday. I've just been thinking about turning 20. I mean, two decades is pretty epic. I just don't know if i'm ready for it. I know its' just a number, but seriously, i've been alive for 20 years and what do i have to show for it. Today i was thinking about if i were not me, i probably wouldn't be my friend. And that's really confusing. I mean, sometimes i'm SO fun and i LOVE being around me. but when i'm stressed, i really shouldn't be allowed to leave the house, unless i'm going somewhere alone.
I thikn my housemates hate me. NOt that i LOVE them, but some of them i still like as people, just not housemates. I don't know what to do... I don't want to leave this year on a bad note, but i really don't see what i've done wrong. I mean, they leave on burners, and leave their crap everywhere, and have REALLY loud music, and stamp around the house when they know i'm sleeping. And i mostly tolerate it. it's only when i'm sleeping or worried about the house burning down that i kindly ask them to tone it down.
The thing is, i'm too wound... i'm very tightly wound and i don't know how to unravel myself. i need to take a chill pill, but i don't know where to begin.
In other news, i went to a Hillel event this weekend and it was GREAT i met a whole bunch of news friends and nice Jewish boys! how lovely! i'm seeing most of them this weekend at the bar Mitzvah Bash. i think i'll do more Hillel next year, and towards the end of this year. it's a good idea to have another stack of friends outside drama.
Ok, i REALLY must go to bed though. It's been a LONG day.
--Me
School is ok. I had a HUGE essay due today and it's done and i feel VERY good that it's done. i've been very stressed lately without a printer. It's frustrating.
I applied for a job this summer and i haven't heard back yet and other people have. I'm curious as to why i haven't heard because i'm PERFECT for it. SO i'm going to talk to the administrator tomorrow (i tried today but she wasn't there... twice). I just wish i knew why i wasn't being considered. There is no reason for it as far as i can see.
Today, in acting we had to do something in 10 minutes for the class and i was REALLY stressed. for no reason. like i was FREAKING out. and my group members were like.. "why are you so stressed?". I have no idea.
I've been to the gym almost everyday, and as great as i'm feeling about going to the gym, i still can't wear any of my pants. i need to find a way to get rid of my gut. I know i'm safe from an eating disorder though because i don't have the eating self-control. My room is a mess and i haven't fixed my calendar yet and that's WEIRD for me. I think i'll do it tomorrow afternoon. yes, definately tomorrow afternoon.
My birthday is on Sunday. I've just been thinking about turning 20. I mean, two decades is pretty epic. I just don't know if i'm ready for it. I know its' just a number, but seriously, i've been alive for 20 years and what do i have to show for it. Today i was thinking about if i were not me, i probably wouldn't be my friend. And that's really confusing. I mean, sometimes i'm SO fun and i LOVE being around me. but when i'm stressed, i really shouldn't be allowed to leave the house, unless i'm going somewhere alone.
I thikn my housemates hate me. NOt that i LOVE them, but some of them i still like as people, just not housemates. I don't know what to do... I don't want to leave this year on a bad note, but i really don't see what i've done wrong. I mean, they leave on burners, and leave their crap everywhere, and have REALLY loud music, and stamp around the house when they know i'm sleeping. And i mostly tolerate it. it's only when i'm sleeping or worried about the house burning down that i kindly ask them to tone it down.
The thing is, i'm too wound... i'm very tightly wound and i don't know how to unravel myself. i need to take a chill pill, but i don't know where to begin.
In other news, i went to a Hillel event this weekend and it was GREAT i met a whole bunch of news friends and nice Jewish boys! how lovely! i'm seeing most of them this weekend at the bar Mitzvah Bash. i think i'll do more Hillel next year, and towards the end of this year. it's a good idea to have another stack of friends outside drama.
Ok, i REALLY must go to bed though. It's been a LONG day.
--Me