Love Song for No One
Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
It's almost as if my best friend can call my moods better than I can. And it's almost like John Mayer wrote that song with me in mind. So far my life in Huntington hasn't handed me school stress... just a lot of life stress. Family issues are honestly the most emotionally taxing issues there are.
And love? I don't even know that it's fair to call love, or lack thereof, an issue. It's more like a plague.
I have lost sight of who I am... and realizing that has made me wonder if I ever knew exactly who I was. That's not to say that every single personality trait I posses is not of me. I don't mean that by any means... but I just don't know who I am. I tend to force myself into... "love" and forced is obviously not the way to go. That's why I'm here today. I'm not exactly sure where here is... but I am exactly sure it's not a great place to be.
I always want the boys I CAN'T and SHOULDN'T love.
Oh well, boy, if you somehow happen to stumble upon this very unprivate journal of mine, I want you to know that you're all I think about. Day in and day out. I'm waiting for something profound to hit me, and let me know some way to make this easier. I KNOW it can't work... but what I don't know is where "can't work" ends. We can't break up if we're not together, but we can't necessarily be apart when our lives tend to collide at every opportunity.
I could see myself loving you... and I've realized now that it's a pretty big deal. I've never been in love. Too young, for sure.
But above all, I need to find me in this mess of ridiculous things that isn't me. Love myself, and then love another.
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
It's almost as if my best friend can call my moods better than I can. And it's almost like John Mayer wrote that song with me in mind. So far my life in Huntington hasn't handed me school stress... just a lot of life stress. Family issues are honestly the most emotionally taxing issues there are.
And love? I don't even know that it's fair to call love, or lack thereof, an issue. It's more like a plague.
I have lost sight of who I am... and realizing that has made me wonder if I ever knew exactly who I was. That's not to say that every single personality trait I posses is not of me. I don't mean that by any means... but I just don't know who I am. I tend to force myself into... "love" and forced is obviously not the way to go. That's why I'm here today. I'm not exactly sure where here is... but I am exactly sure it's not a great place to be.
I always want the boys I CAN'T and SHOULDN'T love.
Oh well, boy, if you somehow happen to stumble upon this very unprivate journal of mine, I want you to know that you're all I think about. Day in and day out. I'm waiting for something profound to hit me, and let me know some way to make this easier. I KNOW it can't work... but what I don't know is where "can't work" ends. We can't break up if we're not together, but we can't necessarily be apart when our lives tend to collide at every opportunity.
I could see myself loving you... and I've realized now that it's a pretty big deal. I've never been in love. Too young, for sure.
But above all, I need to find me in this mess of ridiculous things that isn't me. Love myself, and then love another.