First Entry...Friends and their effect
Hello guests. And welcome to the life of ME! :)
I guess I just felt like writing tonight. I hope I don't end up using this to bitch about people, and saying that, I probably won't. If you're reading this for dirt on people, you probably won't find that here either. It's just my life and my thoughts. I hope you enjoy! :)
Where to begin? It's 2 AM on a Tuesday morning and I haven't gone to sleep yet. That's college though. However, tonight was not my typical college night. Sure, I got a lot of my paper done. And then I went on my run (Let me just tell you one word about my run, OUCH). Got back, took a shower. I then got the call. It was time.
All I'm writing is that there was a very long conversation among five very close friends. As all of this was going on, all I could think of in my head is how lucky I am. It was probably the wrong time to think this, but I can't help how I think. I'm so lucky to have the friends that I have. Being in college really is a life-changing experience and probably the best thing I have ever done. After making numerous mistakes (learning from each of them), I really only have one regret. And that's the way I treated my BEST FRIEND. Not only my best friend, but the first person to befriend me here at University of Miami. He's different, you see. He's unlike any other person I have ever met. He's a genuinely good guy with a GREAT heart. And what do I do with the friendship, the trust, the confidence, the respect, and everything else he has given me? I take it for granted, like I do with everything in my life. Train (the band) puts it best, "In a world where what we want is only what we want until it's ours." That couldn't be truer. Yes, there were changes in my life when Nick and I were best friends. It was different for me. I wasn't a part of a big group of close friends, I had this one EXTREMELY close friend. I betrayed his trust in me when I unintentionally began to distance myself towards a group of girls. These girls are fantastic. But, was I really their friend?
Well, things began to fall apart with my best friend. He began to completely distance himself from me, becoming closer with other people. I was in denial of everything, thinking everything was peachy keen, when finally, one day, he made me realize everything. However, it just may have been too late to mend things. Sure we have our talks and try to work everything out. And sure we still know a lot about each other and we're still roommates next year. But will things ever be the same? Can things ever be the same?
Unfortunately, these questions still have yet to be answered. I love Nick, he knows that (I hope he does, anyway). And I know he loves me and cares for me. My wish is for us to be what we used to be, Nick & Alex, we were a team, a great one at that. We're different, but that's what makes our friendship special and unique from other friendships.
My point is this. CHERISH YOUR FRIENDSHIPS! DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEM. I've seen and dealt with too much drama among friends. This is so cliche, but we really do have one life to live. If I live to be 100, 1/5 of my life is already almost over. Hell, my freshman year of college pretty much is over! I know I'm leaving college this summer with this...I'm not content with many of my relationships with people. I, of course, want things to be perfect with Nick. And I know that they aren't going to be at first, but I think, in time, things will eventually get better, and I can be the best friend he deserves to have. I also will be leaving knowing that I have improved other friendships with people that I know I care about and care about me. I do regret not talking more with certain people making better friendships. I am definitely very caught up with friends back home, and I think that is a problem for me. It could be homesickness (which I doubt, everyone knows how much I couldn't wait to come here!) Or it could just be that I'm growing up and maturing, and, not that I should forget about the past, or even stop thinking about the past, but it is time to think about the present, and the future. Sure, we should live day by day, but why not think about what I'm going to be doing when I'm 25? Maybe living with Nick out in California or NYC, maybe even being discovered as a great actor and win an oscar (Hey, anythings possible!) I know things are going to change when I come back in August, and they're going to change for the better. I hope to maintain the friendships I've made, while making them stronger. I also hope to make new friendships and make them strong as well. This has been one hell of a year, in a good sense and a not-so-good sense. It has definitely been an eye-opener.
So to end this essay-like entry, I will reitterate something I've already said. Cherish your friendships. Don't take advantage of them. In college, it's not that these people are just your friends, they are your family. If certain people I've talked about in this entry happen to read it, then I hope you know how much I care about you and how much I'm going to miss you come May 14th. I've been so lucky and blessed to have met such beautiful people.
Next entry won't be such an essay-like entry, I hope. :)
Yours truly,
Alex
I guess I just felt like writing tonight. I hope I don't end up using this to bitch about people, and saying that, I probably won't. If you're reading this for dirt on people, you probably won't find that here either. It's just my life and my thoughts. I hope you enjoy! :)
Where to begin? It's 2 AM on a Tuesday morning and I haven't gone to sleep yet. That's college though. However, tonight was not my typical college night. Sure, I got a lot of my paper done. And then I went on my run (Let me just tell you one word about my run, OUCH). Got back, took a shower. I then got the call. It was time.
All I'm writing is that there was a very long conversation among five very close friends. As all of this was going on, all I could think of in my head is how lucky I am. It was probably the wrong time to think this, but I can't help how I think. I'm so lucky to have the friends that I have. Being in college really is a life-changing experience and probably the best thing I have ever done. After making numerous mistakes (learning from each of them), I really only have one regret. And that's the way I treated my BEST FRIEND. Not only my best friend, but the first person to befriend me here at University of Miami. He's different, you see. He's unlike any other person I have ever met. He's a genuinely good guy with a GREAT heart. And what do I do with the friendship, the trust, the confidence, the respect, and everything else he has given me? I take it for granted, like I do with everything in my life. Train (the band) puts it best, "In a world where what we want is only what we want until it's ours." That couldn't be truer. Yes, there were changes in my life when Nick and I were best friends. It was different for me. I wasn't a part of a big group of close friends, I had this one EXTREMELY close friend. I betrayed his trust in me when I unintentionally began to distance myself towards a group of girls. These girls are fantastic. But, was I really their friend?
Well, things began to fall apart with my best friend. He began to completely distance himself from me, becoming closer with other people. I was in denial of everything, thinking everything was peachy keen, when finally, one day, he made me realize everything. However, it just may have been too late to mend things. Sure we have our talks and try to work everything out. And sure we still know a lot about each other and we're still roommates next year. But will things ever be the same? Can things ever be the same?
Unfortunately, these questions still have yet to be answered. I love Nick, he knows that (I hope he does, anyway). And I know he loves me and cares for me. My wish is for us to be what we used to be, Nick & Alex, we were a team, a great one at that. We're different, but that's what makes our friendship special and unique from other friendships.
My point is this. CHERISH YOUR FRIENDSHIPS! DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEM. I've seen and dealt with too much drama among friends. This is so cliche, but we really do have one life to live. If I live to be 100, 1/5 of my life is already almost over. Hell, my freshman year of college pretty much is over! I know I'm leaving college this summer with this...I'm not content with many of my relationships with people. I, of course, want things to be perfect with Nick. And I know that they aren't going to be at first, but I think, in time, things will eventually get better, and I can be the best friend he deserves to have. I also will be leaving knowing that I have improved other friendships with people that I know I care about and care about me. I do regret not talking more with certain people making better friendships. I am definitely very caught up with friends back home, and I think that is a problem for me. It could be homesickness (which I doubt, everyone knows how much I couldn't wait to come here!) Or it could just be that I'm growing up and maturing, and, not that I should forget about the past, or even stop thinking about the past, but it is time to think about the present, and the future. Sure, we should live day by day, but why not think about what I'm going to be doing when I'm 25? Maybe living with Nick out in California or NYC, maybe even being discovered as a great actor and win an oscar (Hey, anythings possible!) I know things are going to change when I come back in August, and they're going to change for the better. I hope to maintain the friendships I've made, while making them stronger. I also hope to make new friendships and make them strong as well. This has been one hell of a year, in a good sense and a not-so-good sense. It has definitely been an eye-opener.
So to end this essay-like entry, I will reitterate something I've already said. Cherish your friendships. Don't take advantage of them. In college, it's not that these people are just your friends, they are your family. If certain people I've talked about in this entry happen to read it, then I hope you know how much I care about you and how much I'm going to miss you come May 14th. I've been so lucky and blessed to have met such beautiful people.
Next entry won't be such an essay-like entry, I hope. :)
Yours truly,
Alex