JD and the Janitor
Cut to...
The Admissions Area
J.D. is leaning on the front desk, lost in thought.
J.D.'s Thoughts: I just wish one of my relationships could be back to normal.
The Janitor comes up to him with a spray bottle in hand, and shoots J.D. in the crotch with a stream of water.
Janitor: Whoa.... Looks like someone switched to big-boy pants a little too soon.
J.D.: Ah, that's--that's very clever...it looks like I wet myself. Do you actually think that that's funny?
The Janitor shoots him in the pants again, and laughs.
Janitor: Yeah!
Satisfied, he walks off.
J.D. watches after him, then lifts up his shirt and looks down at the front of his pants with a grimace.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Good God, that's cold!
He waddles off.
Elevator
J.D. singing and dancing as he waits for his floor.
J.D.: "Everybody was kung-fu fighting!" ["boop-boo-boo-boops" the music part] "Those cats were fast as lighten---"
Suddenly, the elevator cars halts.
J.D. picks up the emergency phone.
The line is answered by the Janitor, who is waiting in the maintenance room.
Janitor: Bat Cave.
J.D.: Hi, yeah, I'm stuck in the elevator?
Janitor: Yeah.... I'm afraid it might be a little while.
J.D.: Because you did this!
Janitor: Aw, now, I think we both know you did this to yourself. Well, I'll let you go.
He hangs up.
J.D.: Hello?
A supply cart is pushed away to reveal the Janitor standing against the wall.
Janitor: I was in the military.
J.D.: Where did you come from!?
Janitor: If I find out you're wearing a bronzie, without having served, I'm gonna make things uncomfortable for you.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Coat-wearing doctors do not take this crap.
J.D.: You were never in the military.
Janitor: Yes, I was.
J.D.: Which branch?
Janitor: The...janitor branch.
He walks away.
J.D.: I'm watching you.
The Janitor looks back over his shoulder.
J.D.: That's right, Sasquatch.
J.D. and the Janitor are there.
Janitor: What's up?
J.D.'s Thoughts: Be careful here.... Don't give him anything.
J.D.: [monotone] Nothing. What. Is. Up. With. You...Man?
Janitor: I always get this way in the fall, you know -- summer's gone, the days are shorter; it just makes me feel so...what's the word....
J.D.: Sad?
Janitor: Yes, that's it. I'm a janitor, so I couldn't think of the word "sad." I was gonna say, It makes me feel so "mop."
J.D.: Let me explain, I---
Janitor: Go ahead, I'm "mopping."
J.D.: Maybe I shouldn't bother.
Janitor: Maybe you "mopn't."
J.D. turns from him.
J.D.'s Narration: I guess after a while, you just stop being surprised by people.
A SCRUBS HALLOWEEN TRIBUTE (only cause i have so much time and class was cancelled)
In doing so, he's failed to notice passing the Janitor, who is standing against the wall, possibly waiting for him.
Janitor: Trick.
J.D. stops and turns around.
J.D.: Excuse me?
Janitor: I just figure you gotta be wondering, "Am I gonna get a trick, or am I gonna get a treat?" You'll be getting a trick.
J.D.: Whatever.
Janitor: It'll be fast, and you won't even know it's me.
J.D.: You just told me it was gonna be you.
Janitor: You'll still have your doubts.
The Janitor walks backwards down the hall.
Janitor: And the best part is, you're gonna be nervous all day about it, 'cause it could happen at any time!
He rounds the corner and disappears.
J.D. shakes his head and continues down the hall.
The Janitor leaps out from around the corner and yells, frightening J.D., who screams, and holds up his hands ready to karate chop.
Janitor: That wasn't it. Fun, though!
He goes back around the corner.
J.D.: [to his hands] False alarm, boys.
Hall
J.D. is walking through, a folder in hand. Elliot catches up with him.
Elliot: Hey, you okay?
J.D.: Yeah...why wouldn't I be?
Elliot: You and your brother? I mean, come on, the tension on the ride back to work was palpable. I wanted to say something. I mean, I was this close to getting back in the car.
J.D.: That wouldn't have been a wise choice! No, seriously, thank you, Elliot; we're fine.
She continues on. J.D. goes to pass through a doorway, but is blocked by the staffer in the gorilla suit. There's a bit of a dance before the gorilla finally gets fed up, knocks the folder out of J.D.'s hands, and pushes past.
J.D.: Damn you, you dirty ape!
J.D. comes through, with his recollected folder, and notices the Janitor taking his break, eating a banana.
J.D.: Oh, I get it. Well, let's see how tough you are without your costume on. Go ahead and--and knock the folders out of my hand now!
The Janitor does so.
Janitor: What costume?
J.D.: You weren't wearing a gorilla suit before?
Janitor: There's someone running around in a gorilla suit? What's he look like?
J.D.: A gorilla....
Janitor: No, it's not me.
J.D.: Well, then, why'd you knock the folder out of my hand?!
Janitor: Because you asked me to. Here you go.
He puts his banana peel in J.D.'s breast pocket.
J.D.: I didn't ask you to do that!
Janitor: Yeah...that comes free with the folder knock.
He goes off. As J.D. struggles to pick up his folders again, Dr. Kelso approaches.
In his car, Dr. Kelso grips the steering wheel with his giant gorilla paws. He laughs maniacally.
The Admissions Area
J.D. is leaning on the front desk, lost in thought.
J.D.'s Thoughts: I just wish one of my relationships could be back to normal.
The Janitor comes up to him with a spray bottle in hand, and shoots J.D. in the crotch with a stream of water.
Janitor: Whoa.... Looks like someone switched to big-boy pants a little too soon.
J.D.: Ah, that's--that's very clever...it looks like I wet myself. Do you actually think that that's funny?
The Janitor shoots him in the pants again, and laughs.
Janitor: Yeah!
Satisfied, he walks off.
J.D. watches after him, then lifts up his shirt and looks down at the front of his pants with a grimace.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Good God, that's cold!
He waddles off.
Elevator
J.D. singing and dancing as he waits for his floor.
J.D.: "Everybody was kung-fu fighting!" ["boop-boo-boo-boops" the music part] "Those cats were fast as lighten---"
Suddenly, the elevator cars halts.
J.D. picks up the emergency phone.
The line is answered by the Janitor, who is waiting in the maintenance room.
Janitor: Bat Cave.
J.D.: Hi, yeah, I'm stuck in the elevator?
Janitor: Yeah.... I'm afraid it might be a little while.
J.D.: Because you did this!
Janitor: Aw, now, I think we both know you did this to yourself. Well, I'll let you go.
He hangs up.
J.D.: Hello?
A supply cart is pushed away to reveal the Janitor standing against the wall.
Janitor: I was in the military.
J.D.: Where did you come from!?
Janitor: If I find out you're wearing a bronzie, without having served, I'm gonna make things uncomfortable for you.
J.D.'s Thoughts: Coat-wearing doctors do not take this crap.
J.D.: You were never in the military.
Janitor: Yes, I was.
J.D.: Which branch?
Janitor: The...janitor branch.
He walks away.
J.D.: I'm watching you.
The Janitor looks back over his shoulder.
J.D.: That's right, Sasquatch.
J.D. and the Janitor are there.
Janitor: What's up?
J.D.'s Thoughts: Be careful here.... Don't give him anything.
J.D.: [monotone] Nothing. What. Is. Up. With. You...Man?
Janitor: I always get this way in the fall, you know -- summer's gone, the days are shorter; it just makes me feel so...what's the word....
J.D.: Sad?
Janitor: Yes, that's it. I'm a janitor, so I couldn't think of the word "sad." I was gonna say, It makes me feel so "mop."
J.D.: Let me explain, I---
Janitor: Go ahead, I'm "mopping."
J.D.: Maybe I shouldn't bother.
Janitor: Maybe you "mopn't."
J.D. turns from him.
J.D.'s Narration: I guess after a while, you just stop being surprised by people.
A SCRUBS HALLOWEEN TRIBUTE (only cause i have so much time and class was cancelled)
In doing so, he's failed to notice passing the Janitor, who is standing against the wall, possibly waiting for him.
Janitor: Trick.
J.D. stops and turns around.
J.D.: Excuse me?
Janitor: I just figure you gotta be wondering, "Am I gonna get a trick, or am I gonna get a treat?" You'll be getting a trick.
J.D.: Whatever.
Janitor: It'll be fast, and you won't even know it's me.
J.D.: You just told me it was gonna be you.
Janitor: You'll still have your doubts.
The Janitor walks backwards down the hall.
Janitor: And the best part is, you're gonna be nervous all day about it, 'cause it could happen at any time!
He rounds the corner and disappears.
J.D. shakes his head and continues down the hall.
The Janitor leaps out from around the corner and yells, frightening J.D., who screams, and holds up his hands ready to karate chop.
Janitor: That wasn't it. Fun, though!
He goes back around the corner.
J.D.: [to his hands] False alarm, boys.
Hall
J.D. is walking through, a folder in hand. Elliot catches up with him.
Elliot: Hey, you okay?
J.D.: Yeah...why wouldn't I be?
Elliot: You and your brother? I mean, come on, the tension on the ride back to work was palpable. I wanted to say something. I mean, I was this close to getting back in the car.
J.D.: That wouldn't have been a wise choice! No, seriously, thank you, Elliot; we're fine.
She continues on. J.D. goes to pass through a doorway, but is blocked by the staffer in the gorilla suit. There's a bit of a dance before the gorilla finally gets fed up, knocks the folder out of J.D.'s hands, and pushes past.
J.D.: Damn you, you dirty ape!
J.D. comes through, with his recollected folder, and notices the Janitor taking his break, eating a banana.
J.D.: Oh, I get it. Well, let's see how tough you are without your costume on. Go ahead and--and knock the folders out of my hand now!
The Janitor does so.
Janitor: What costume?
J.D.: You weren't wearing a gorilla suit before?
Janitor: There's someone running around in a gorilla suit? What's he look like?
J.D.: A gorilla....
Janitor: No, it's not me.
J.D.: Well, then, why'd you knock the folder out of my hand?!
Janitor: Because you asked me to. Here you go.
He puts his banana peel in J.D.'s breast pocket.
J.D.: I didn't ask you to do that!
Janitor: Yeah...that comes free with the folder knock.
He goes off. As J.D. struggles to pick up his folders again, Dr. Kelso approaches.
In his car, Dr. Kelso grips the steering wheel with his giant gorilla paws. He laughs maniacally.