Acts of God and Man
Emboldened by his new friendship with Faith, McCarron makes one last ditch effort to keep Brittany from leaving L.A. and ends up dropping the bombshell that will change his, Michael's and Brittany's lives forever.
McCarron was sitting on the hood of the Alero, waiting for Faith and Brittany to show up. Part of his brain thought he was being a lunatic even attempting such a strange scenario. Firstly, the woman he was trying to fool was pretty damn smart, and secondly, he was almost kind of betraying the confidence he had with her husband. Fuck. The conversation he'd had the other night with Faith had unsettled him. It had made him start to question if two men could be in love with the same woman and be friends after all. Maybe he'd just been lying to himself. He no longer knew.
He heard the whine of a familiar engine and the Mazda sports car pulled up into a nearby parking space. Brittany arrived in black suede jacket, jeans and the ever-familiar one of the nine billion San Diego Padres T-shirts she owned. She was still wearing his medallion and her wedding ring, which didn't help his screwed-up subconscious any. There was that light in her eyes and an ever-ready smile on her face as she approached. "Hey, Jimmy," she said openly, and he couldn't help but smile. "Hey yourself. I'm glad you could make it."
She nodded. "Me too." There were kisses on the cheek that seemed to linger and an embrace that was about five seconds past friendly.
"Yeah… yeah… thanks… thank you…" Faith couldn’t have thanked the man enough. It was strange, the relationships she made with people. Or even the tiny friendships. Or… of course pummeling the bartender for his car, that was more fun. Smirking slightly, black sunglasses perched ontop of the brunette’s head, as a little red sports car pulled up. The engine had stopped, as the car door was opened, a chocolate brunette wearing a lime green halter top, a designer black leather jacket (hm, wonder where she got that?) and black slacks stepped out of the car. Keys jingling in Faith’s hand, as she slammed the door shut, but gently. Black combat boots clunking slightly on the ground.
"Yeah…so I got the call and…-what the fuck?!" her expression dropped as she laid eyes on Brittany, gawking.
Brittany turned around and stared momentarily. She had to get used to this. Of course, she had met Tru, so that had taken the edge off it. There were ways to tell them apart - the perpetual light in her eyes, the fact that God and everyone could tell she was a San Diego original thanks to the massive All-Star Game ring on the other hand (not to mention the shirt), the polished look she had been used to maintaining for years since joining civil service. She hesitated just that second.
It was enough to get her old friend to intervene. "Brittany, this is Faith, she's a friend of mine. Faith, this is Brittany Colefield, I told you about her." That was all he was going to allude to, of course, and his eyes said as much.
The federal agent nodded, taking this in stride, and offered her hand. "Pleasure to meet you. Excuse the childish moments, I haven't been here since I was a kid."
Faith stopped gawking like an idiot, taking note that her 'cool-ness' factor had and would be spoiled if she continued to act like Buffy, and extended her hand, shaking Brit's with a firm grip. "No prob, yeah, nice to meetcha' too." she nodded, casting McCarron a look of pure death and astonishment, but quickly reverted her expression back to that of a laid back one to Brittany, before the other woman could even catch the glance. She wasn't amused. Someone... that looked like her? What was this, alternate universe? Were there big bads?
"How's T.J.?" Brittany asked, genuinely concerned. "Is he...?"
"He's fine," McCarron said, cutting her off. "Shut up about him. Seriously."
She nodded. "I'm sorry. I just -- I'm the one that shot his ass."
"We know." Jimmy shook his head, indicating it was a dead subject. "Anyway. Let's get the hell in there."
The three of them walked into a building that obviously had been built in the early to mid 90's but hadn't quite looked like a dive just yet. An arcade sparsely filled but with plenty of noise to make up for the lack of people. Brittany stared, taking the place in. It had been a long while since she had been here. With time running out, she might as well enjoy it. "So. I feel like I should start a conversation but I have nothing to say," she quipped.
"Likewise." Faith mused, letting her gaze wander, perhaps like a small child's attention span, this place was kinda' neat. "I could really go for some ribs right now..." she muttered absent mindedly.
"I think there should be a restaurant in the parking lot. Did you want to do dinner first? I just got off work, I haven't done much of anything. Of course it's not actually really work anymore. I don't have a badge anymore." Brittany shook her head, obviously still grappling with that decision.
"I thought you'd probably be loaded on caffeine," was Jimmy's sarcastic comment as he absentmindedly took her hand. "What, did you miss a frappucino break in there somewhere?"
"Shut the hell up about that." She rolled her eyes and chuckled, turning to Faith. "Please tell me this isn't what he's been telling you about me."
To save both their asses Faith just grinned. "Of course not." she laughed lightly. "Up to you guys, dinners great for me... or whatever you want." she was being too nice. But then again. How often was it she actually got friends? She knew in her heart though, that those two belonged to eachother. But...she had a thing for McCarron. The plot thickens.
They reversed course and headed back out of the building. "Hey, my car's still here," Brittany quipped. The Mazda was a lot flashier than she would have expected to be driving, and she was often surprised it hadn't been carjacked yet.
McCarron rolled his eyes again. It was obvious that she was a lot more positive than he was, but that it offset his own cynicism quite well. There was probably a long and complicated history between the two of them, a story that would take all night and copious quantities of alcohol were it ever to be told in its entirety. He paused, "It's probably the four guns hidden under the paneling that'll do it."
"Three. There are three guns in my car," she corrected as they crossed the parking lot. "The SigArm from CTU, the Ehrlich from the armory, and the CIB thing for the vampires, which I don't know why I still have that."
Faith perked her head up a little, and coughed once. "Vampires?...." she asked.
Brittany nodded. "Code Five is the technical term. Michael used to work for an organization in London that was fighting the invasion there. When he came here, it followed him and well ... Jimmy and I were part of a strike force based here in L.A. Doesn't exist anymore, though. We split up after we took care of things in England. That's how the two of us started working together. We'd met before that, but I was working with Frank at the time."
"Frank Smith," McCarron clarified. "Her ex and my former enemy. Yes, we were that bad," he said before Brittany could say anything. "He still gets on my nerves."
"There's no such thing as vampires..."Faith laughed to cover her tracks.
Brittany's light took on a whole different cast. It was obvious now that she wasn't just a sweet and innocent federal agent. She had been around to see a lot of things. "I was almost killed fighting a counterinsurgence a few years ago. If not for Jimmy, I would've died. Both of us almost got killed again doing the same thing in London a few months ago. I know they exist. I've got the scars to prove it."
"You wouldn't happen to have heard of B-, I mean, Buffy, wouldya'?" she asked, totally changing the subject.
"I don't think so." The ex-federal agent shook her head. "The only people I know of are Mike's old squadmates with CIB. Not like they were a particularly good bunch of people." She made a low sound in her throat somewhere between a harsh chuckle and a growl. McCarron's grasp on her hand tightened, letting her know he was there, warning her not to go down that way again. The way he looked at her showed a genuine concern that would have been surprising to anyone else who even claimed to know him.
"Good, good." Faith nodded slightly. Half heartedly jealous of Buffy, but also thankful in some ways that they didn't know of her. She didn't know what else to say, she felt like she didn't belong there. She would of said something nice, but decided to hold her tongue.
"Eh, it's all in the past." Brittany held the door for her friends as they arrived at the restaurant, then found herself interrupted by the theme from ER. "Damn, I have to take this," she said, excusing herself.
Jimmy swore under his breath. Michael was supposed to have made sure she didn't have her cell phone. He nodded and watched her go, not happy with that screwup in the slightest.
"Chill, okay? You're all tense..." Faith said gently, as she glanced to Jimmy. She was trying to be sincere to her friend. But what was the use?
"He just fucked up. She's not supposed to have a phone on her. I need her to focus on what's going on right now." He sighed, working out a sudden cramp at the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. It's just -- She means too much to me for some stupid little thing to screw it up. He of all people should know that."
"It's fine. Looks like, someone is workin' against you is all." she muttered slightly. "Just take it easy... I know we just met, but ... I worry about you." she smiled faintly. "We're friends, ya' know?" she nodded. "She's a nice girl, you guys are good together..."
He smiled thinly. "Thanks. And yeah, I guess I've kind of let her in. I swore I wasn't going to do that, and she said, 'Somebody will change you,' and that's exactly what happened." He rolled his eyes. "I guess I can't really blame Mike. He's got too much crap going on as it is anyway. I just - this is the road we went down before, right before I almost crashed the wedding. Which, there would've been a really stupid idea."
Faith chuckled slightly, and pat him on the shoulder sympathetically. "It's okay, tiger." she smirked.
"Yeah. Could be worse. We could be on fire."
Brittany clapped the phone shut and reappeared on the scene. "I forgot I have a meeting with Durant tomorrow," was the explanation. "That was my courtesy reminder."
"What the hell are you meeting him for?"
"Because he asked."
"Because he has a weird thing about you."
"Many people have a weird thing about me, Jimmy, I'm a 20-year-old decorated ex-federal agent with a marriage and a deep love for my hometown baseball team." Brittany chuckled as they slid into a booth. "I am the variable. I kinda like it," she added, smirking at him. "We've been there anyway. If you told her all our good stories we would be here probably after my flight leaves."
Faith had sat next to Brittany, seeing how it was the fair thing to do. As she looked down at the menu plopped on the table, beginning to look through it, slightly. And spotted the ribs.
"So which one of your nine billion varieties of chicken are you ordering?" Jimmy asked his old friend as he turned pages in the menu.
"I don't know yet." She paused. "How did you..."
"How many times have we eaten together?"
"Yeah, but those are usually business lunches discussing terrorists and/or dead people so I didn't think you'd really give a fuck about what I was eating." She chuckled. "I think I'll keep it simple. Early death is not a good idea."
He coughed as if to protest, but she didn't hear him or had chosen to ignore him.
Faith smirked slightly, licking her lips once, looking dow at the plastic covered menu. It had seemed to look fancy on the inside, but a dump on the outside. Chipped brown paint...a poor sorry excuse for a porch. However, she had to admit, she was looking forward to those ribs. The brunette didn't say a word as the waitress came over, with a notepad ready in hand, and a pencil behind her ear. "May I take your order?" the blonde smiled happily. Looking to them all.
"I'm thinking the fried chicken with the baked potato and Mountain Dew." There was an odd smirk on Brittany's face as she said that, largely because she knew she wasn't supposed to be drinking that much caffeine. She had tried and tried to lay off. Well, fuck it. It never seemed to stick.
As if completely unsurprised by this turn of events, McCarron ordered the prime rib and then decided he needed a beer, blaming it largely on her. She just chuckled, knowing better. She knew just as much about him as he knew about her.
Faith shot a sly look to Jimmy when Brittany had mentioned the fried chicken. Putting on what she liked to call a facade for the public, Faith smiled sweetly to the young waitress. "I'll take the ribs, baked potato...and hell yeah, why not, a beer." she nodded. So much for the facade. The waitress nodded, jotting down all their orders, and smiled sweetly. "I'll be right back with those." then she walked away.
"So, I feel like I'm lording the conversation here," Brittany quipped. "How did you guys meet? I've been in Manchester for a bit with the campaign, so I have no idea what's going on with everybody."
"A strip club actually.... I work there..." Faith wanted to say. But unfortunately, she just responded blandly with. "A bar." she shrugged, looking at one of the napkin dispensers and playing with it idly.
"T.J. felt like getting wasted. Unfortunately, he sucks at that, too. You may have just made him sober up," McCarron explained. "So the usual. He bitched. I committed justifiable violence."
"What did you do?" The way she said it made it clear this had happened before.
"Let me just say the bartender of said establishment will have a newfound respect for the female gender." He sighed. "You know how I get about this."
"Yeah, you beat up my husband, remember? Not that he didn't deserve it then."
"Exactly."
The waitress came back later with two beers, and a Mountain Dew. Placing them down neatly, upon a napkin for each one, on the table. "Here we go." the blonde smiled. "My name is Martha, let me know if I can get you anything more, your food will be done soon." the bright and sunny smile, and tone made Faith sick to her stomach.
"How the fuck do people do that?" Brittany asked, taking a long drink and waiting for the caffeine buzz to hit her. "I mean, I know I'm normally up there, but I can't like ever be that up there. If I am, I'd like someone to shoot me."
"Two words," Jimmy indicated, holding up two fingers, "Adam Eaton."
"Special circumstances," she scoffed. "Anyway. Yeah. Maybe it's just the cynicism of my work -- my former work talking, but man that's disturbing."
Faith laughed lightly, as she took a sip of her beer, enjoying herself. "Bang." she smirked, pretending to hold a gun to Brittany's head, smiling and laughing.
She chuckled. "I've been shot before, really not as bad as it sounds. Took three bullets in Chicago for a friend of mine who now works for me - well, would've worked for me. Dared this one guy to shoot me in London. Michael shot me about two years ago here in L.A. during the bomb scare. So it doesn't really bother me anymore."
Faith furrowed her brow, confused, as if looking like a child. The brunette took another sip of her drink. "You're brave, Brit." she smirked. "Taking bullets for people... " Faith would have done the same...but the time never arised. Maybe... when Angelus had tried to kill her. Was she doing something good then? Almost like taking the bullet for someone.
"It was me or Julian was going to die. I couldn't let that happen. He's too good. And it was the right thing to do." She shrugged, as if it didn't bother her anymore. "But it also goes to show you who your real friends are. Do you know he," and she nodded toward Jimmy, "flew all the way out there to Chicago to see me?"
Faith quirked an eyebrow. "You don't say...." purely teasing Jimmy.
It was obvious Brittany was fairly touched by this moment. "I'm serious. I'm laid up in a Chicago Hope recovery room and there he is."
"It's not a big deal," he protested. Of course he knew he was lying - that had been the second time he had kissed her. He had stayed there with her and he had kissed her, and then when he had found her praying later for the continued protection of her fellow agents, he'd stood there and realized he was well and truly fucked, that he was in love with her. That moment could not have been a bigger deal.
"Not a big deal?" Faith smirked again.
"She was hurt. I was concerned. I called T.J., got on a plane."
"Yeah, but Julian was there with me, Tony was there with me. You didn't have to be there. That meant a lot to me." Brittany smiled thinly at him.
"I sense a relationship being rekindled..." she laughed lightly, as the food arrived. "Here you go!" Martha smiled sweetly, Faith thought her cheeks were going to burst the woman smiled so much. "Thanks..." she said with incredible distaste.
Brittany rolled her eyes and as the waitress walked away, commented, "What's that drug they give hyper kids to get them to sit down and shut up? We need some of that. Or a tranquilizer."
Faith clapped her hands, laughing lightly, as she began to cut up the potato with a silver knife and fork. Until she had found an enormous piece of blonde hair in her meal. "Uh.., yeah."
"Dude. Where is Brian?" Brittany blinked. "I should have him sterilize my food."
"Hey, Lady Lazarus," McCarron quipped, "If a horde of Code Fives beating the shit out of you can't kill you, this isn't gonna come close."
Truth be told it was one of their most painful memories. It was no secret that she had intended to martyr herself to save him and the rest of the Code Black strike team. The pain she had been through and the months of recovery had been hell for her, and he could still remember her dead weight in his arms, the torturous wait outside the infirmary as chief medical officer Brian Holt, in clear anguish focused into extreme dedication, performed hours of surgery. They could joke about it now, years later, but it was still perhaps the biggest sacrifice in both their memories.
"It wasn't this bad when you guys went here, was it?" she asked, letting the piece of hair slip out of her fingers, staring at her food as if it was cat vomit.
"I haven't been here since I was a kid. Early nineties, maybe. 93, 94." Brittany shrugged. "Hopefully, that's a freak accident."
"Well..." Faith tried to think of some other topic for conversation. "Uh..."
"If we get really bored, I could go on about all the interesting scars I seem to have accumulated," Brittany quipped sarcastically.
"Yeah. All nine of them," Jimmy replied flatly.
Faith quirked an eyebrow, and smirked slightly. "Where are the scars exactly?" she asked looking to Jimmy, playfully.
He stared at her momentarily, but figured it wouldn't kill him to admit to the ones that were general knowledge. "There is a bitch of one on her right shoulder blade and three of them near the small of her back from a SWAT operation we worked together."
A burst of tears, as the blonde Martha came out of the kitchen. "YOU FUCKING DICK!" she screamed, as her apron was thrown at her. Apparently, too many people couldn't stand her. Faith stared at Brittany and Jimmy in awe. "So, bar?" she asked, as Martha began out of the place. "There was hair in!-" but the door shut before Faith could get through to her. "my food..." she finished idly.
"I am hoping that I don't have to go back to my car and get my gun," was McCarron's terse comment.
Faith snickered, and slid out from the booth so Brittany could get out.
"Well. Yeah. This is interesting, Jimmy, thanks for getting me out of the house," she commented as she slipped out. "Next time, we'll go golfing in Los Feliz and I'm sure it'll be just as much fun."
"Golfing? I'd shoot myself first."
"My thoughts exactly." She glanced at them both, "Do we dare hang around or should we run like hell?"
"What about bowling?" Faith snickered.
"No, no, no, bowling is fun. Bowling is great fun. It turns sucking miserably into an art form," Brittany said, smiling. "Frank and I went bowling once."
"Frank is too fucking happy for his own good," McCarron quipped as they pushed out the door.
"I don't get why you two can't get along. Please. You're both dear to me."
"Because we don't see things the same way and we never will," was the explanation. "And because every time someone mentions your name he regresses to a state of childhood."
Faith kept quiet for the time being, as they started to head along, but really, she was deep in thought.
"It's not my fault," Brittany protested. "Look. Okay. I loved him. We dated for a year or whatever. We broke up. You know this. I owe him for keeping me sane, Jimmy. He was safe."
"I know. Nobody's blaming you, we're just saying..." He paused. "He's still in love with you and you're the only one that doesn't see it." Not to mention how much of an ass he felt for being in love with her too.
"It's just because he hasn't found anybody else yet. He's sweet. He'll find somebody without angst issues and a potential death. He will. It's just gonna take him some time." She sighed. "Frank is the kind of guy who settles down and has kids and lives happily ever after. I have an apartment, three guns and any children of mine would come to potential harm."
"Bowling....golf.....bowling....-" Faith's palms rose up and down like a scale, doing it on purpose to get them out of their argument.
"Bowling involves heavy artillery with the potential for moments that live in comic infamy. We golf, I'm just gonna quote Swingers." Brittany smiled slightly. "I gotta talk to Frank anyway before I go. He called me in Manchester totally confused. I'll talk to him," she promised Jimmy.
He nodded. "I think he'd appreciate that. Seriously. You're good at making people listen to you," he added, which was true, except for the time he'd ignored her and saved her life, but that was another story.
"Only because I'm loud and/or people don't understand me. So. We should get the hell out of here."
"Agreed." was the only word Faith could muster up. Though she was thinking. But what about in particular was the hard part.
"Right." Brittany produced the keys to the MX-8, walking over to the midnight blue sports car. A couple of buttons had it unlocked and she threw open the driver's side door. "Let's see what we can do here," she said, reaching over to the center console and activating a touch-screen display with the CTU logo. A couple of more keys and she was clued into a map display. "Okay. So what are we looking for?"
Faith shrugged absent mindedly, now trying to concentrate on the screen. She had to also admit, the sports car was quite a steal-er, find, yes, find. "Whatever you guys want." she nodded. The brunette had always been laid back, but maybe she was letting too much slip out of her hands. However this wasn't her familiar territory, it was theirs.
"Let me see what I can do." Brittany's eyes were scanning the map. She had used it many times before in order to plan assaults, recons and all sorts of business-related things. It felt kind of fun to be using it for something where no one would get killed. "Hey, there's a Dave & Buster's across town. Anyone in the mood for some gaming?"
"I'm game." Faith replied, smirking slightly at the pun. She looked to Jimmy for a response.
He smirked. "T.J. would be proud were he not home doing I don't even want to know what. All right. Let's ride."
Brittany quickly and simply relayed the directions. "Dare I even ask what's in your CD player right now?" she asked him as she shoved her keys in the ignition.
He snorted. "Same thing that's in yours. See you in a few," he said, squeezing her shoulder.
"Later." Faith nodded, slightly, taking note of the squeeze to the shoulder for Brittany. That was definitely body language... she of all people knew that. Sighing slightly to herself, the clunky combat boots once again sauntered back to the small sports car that she had gotten from the bartender. Cracking her neck side to side, the brunette took ahold of the handle, and pulled it open, slipping inside. Before fidgeting once to find the keys in her jacket pocket, and finally jammed them into the ignition, starting up the engine, and began to back out. She'd follow whoever was leading.
Completely unsurprisingly, the sound of Breaking Benjamin's heavy rock guitar suddenly seemed to fill the parking lot. McCarron gunned the engine and backed out of his parking space, the silver Alero still having a great enough stereo to put up with his proclivity. He wrenched the volume another notch before listening intently to the noise. Sure enough, the Mazda had the same guitar depth. Different song. Same band. He shook his head. They'd both been right.
Fiddling with the music stations had to be the most obnoxious thing ever. Faith sighed once, as one hand was cautious on the wheel, glancing back to the road every once in a while, until the radio landed on a country station. "Oh fuck no." Faith muttered, slightly, following the other cars, into the right lane.
Brittany was using the CTU satellite system to make sure she was on course. Of course, she reminded herself, the tracking device in the car would tell somebody somewhere she was moving. Reminded of this, she reached for her cell phone, turned it off and threw it in the glove box. "Just in case he calls me again," she said to no one in particular.
The chocolate brunette finally landed on some type of rock station playing 'Down with the sickness', which wasn't such a bad song to her. Clearly grooving in the car, but with both hands on the wheel now, Faith nodded her head to the music, as they stopped at a light. "Ugggh." she muttered.
McCarron was thinking to himself somewhere in the middle of 'Breakdown.' His objectives were fucked up, he knew. He couldn't let Brittany go back to Manchester and he had one chance to convince her of that. He just didn't know how to do it. She kept distracting him with her optimism. No one had ever been able to do that. It was a flaw he needed to fix quickly. Not to mention that he heard a clock ticking in the back of his head. The Alero screamed off the line, feeling his frustration.
Finally that light had read 'green'. "Thank you!" Faith banged both pale, slender hands upon the steering wheel, taking a left, where Brittany had turned. Until another car had beeped at her, in which Faith replied with the finger.
The drive seemed to go faster than Brittany had thought, but she figured that aggressive driving had taken care of that. Obviously somebody was overdue a few games of Time Crisis. She eased into a handicapped spot, grabbed her parking placard and threw it in its place, locked the vehicle and smirked as she jumped out to the sudden odd silence that meant McCarron's massive stereo had been silenced. "How do you not go deaf?" she quipped, and he rolled his eyes.
Faith nearly burst out laughing when she spotted the handicap space that Brittany had pulled into. Shaking her head slightly, as she rolled down the window. "Wow, what a tragedy." she smirked, pulling up beside her in a normal space.
"You would not believe the people who flip me off," Brittany quipped. "I tell 'em, talk to the guy that delivered me three months early." She shook her head and held the door open for everybody. "Welcome to my childhood."
Faith snickered, as she let Jimmy in first, and trailed behind him as Brittany had held the door open. "Fancy place." that of course was pure sarcasm.
"I grew up a gamer in San Diego," she said by way of explanation, advancing towards the more serene middle of the room and finding them a table. "My vices in life - baseball, video games and poker."
"Haha." Faith smiled slightly, as she took a seat at the table, and looked around. "Man, wish there was shit like this up in Boston... the only time I had fun was when I jumped off that pierre."
"You did what?" Jimmy asked, straddling his chair and resting his chin on his forearms.
"I'm just so adventurous." she smirked.
He smiled openly. "You and me both."
Brittany nodded. "He's like my other half. I grew up watching the Padres at Qualcomm and reading lots of books."
"Spiffy." she replied, slipping off her jacket, and placing it on the back of the chair. Then she spotted it... Buffy the vampire slayer...... the video game. "What the...fuck?" her eyes widened. It was a two player game, with .....guns for controllers.
"The hell?" McCarron asked, following. "What the fuck is that?"
"I don't know, but it's so not funny. Considering I had at least six of the fuckers on my ass." Brittany didn't look happy either.
"No it's not funny!" Faith kept her gaze on the game, as she began up over to it, and looked to the kids playing it. "Buffy rocks!" one of them told her. Faith could feel the fury building up inside.
"I'm gonna go blow some shit up," Brittany said, growling. "Find me a fucking Time Crisis machine. Now." She stalked off. McCarron looked after her. "She's right. We should just walk away."
"Gimme that." Faith sighed, as the kid lost the game, and began to examine it. "Who the hell fights vampires with guns?" she took out her own stake from her pocket, and held it up. "These my friends...work the charm..." she didn't give a shit. Her cover was blown.
"What the hell are you doing?" McCarron said. "Let's not fucking traumatize people here." He was going to get to that himself, later.
"People are stupid...hello FAITH, FAITH the vampire slayer!" She grumbled. Of course not loud enough for anyone to hear her.
"Don't let it get to you. Seriously. I've already got her on my hands. We cannot fuck this up, not now." He was obviously torqued, though not with her. "Catch up with me when you're done. I need to go deal with her before she kills somebody."
He turned and walked off; a moment more and he could be seen talking to Brittany, who was in the middle of shooting somebody. After a moment, she threw the gun down and they could be heard talking. It was obviously not a civil conversation.
"How many people have begged you to stay?" McCarron shot back. "Jack, Kim, Brian, Weiss, Arica, we could probably make a fucking list."
"They'll find somebody else. I was just their girl Friday. They can get somebody who's a real hero."
"They don't need a hero. They need you. You're not here to be the guy who shoots the bad guys down or saves the situation - that's on me, that's on Jack, that's on Michael. You're here to keep us together. We need you to make us work. Me and Frank, me and Mike, me and McNorris, all of us, you make us work together. You make us better people. We don't need you to be perfect or to be a hero. We need you to be who you are."
"I don't even know who I am right now," she said, and turned on her heel.
"Eeeeeeeeert. I'm sorry, but you have the wrong answer." Faith put both her thumbs down looking to Jimmy, and motioned for him to go after Brit.
He nodded and grabbed her by the arm. "You're not allowed to leave," he said brusquely.
Brittany turned back, wrenching away from his grip, and stared at him. "I'm not allowed? Who started dictating what I could do with my life?"
He was undaunted. "I'm drawing the line in the sand right now, I'm making the choice for you because you can't make it for yourself. I'm taking control of this situation and I'm telling you that you're not leaving, because I love you."
Faith felt herself gag suddenly, and turned around facing the game machine, she wanted to kick it. But if she did that, the thing would tip over and the screen would smash. Trying her hardest, she turned back around, with a fake smile on her lips, looking down to the ground. Yeah. See? What happens when she meddles... she loses the guy. And like lightning she could make him give into his darkest sins to get with her...but Brittany...and McCarron belonged with each other. And she wasn't bad anymore...no way was she going to go meddle in his business. Or Brit's for that matter.
The words had come out of him in a vehement spiel and the last three, the ones he'd swore he couldn't, wouldn't say, simply fell out. McCarron's whole body tensed as if he was in denial of himself, as if even he hadn't realized what he'd become. They were out there now and he wouldn't take them back. He watched her face, watched her stare become less cold and more - was that shock? Awe? Recognition? She stared, then looked away.
"Jimmy." Her invocation of his name was but a whisper. "What happened to the guy who said he'd never be in love?"
"You happened." He chuckled cynically. "You think I like feeling like this? Never mind the last two years, these last few months…" His eyes flashed as he shook his head, recalling it all in the space of those few seconds. "I know I'm the one that told you to marry him. He's the safe choice, he's the secure choice, and he's a good guy, I see that now. I told myself that we could both love you, that I could be friends with him, that I could be okay with this, and fucking hell, I have been trying, but I'm only human! You're in my gut, under my skin, and I want you, and I can't help that - it's damn well destroying me and you're still all that I want. I don't like this feeling. I don't like putting anyone in a position to get hurt. But you're killing me, Brittany. He married you. He can go with you. I can't. You walk out on me, you're fucking gonna kill me. And as much as I hate the slow death I'm dying here, I'd hate losing you more. So yeah. I love you, and that's what it's come to."
She had to get out. Had to do something. She knew there was no turning back now. No stopping the tears that threatened to fall. But one thing you knew about Faith. She didn't cry. Faith never cried. Unless.. of course she was with someone she trusted. But she didn't love the guy, just lusted for him. He was just in the moment, sort of say. Nodding silently, she lifted her hazel brown gaze from the floor. The arcade seemed quiet, until....YES.... someone...started the slow clap. And it sure as hell wasn't Faith. The entire room, even the kids with the tickets for their games and runny noses, began to clap. But like a sudden wave, Faith gave everyone a look. "Fuck off." she muttered, shooing people away.
If Brittany had any idea what the hell was going on around her, she didn't give any indication. Relentless one-track mind when it mattered, all the paperwork said. She just seemed ... painfully lost. Through this whole tirade her eyes had never left him, and there was water in them now. She knew how difficult it had been for him to even make the first admission of any emotion at all, all those months ago, and he had crossed the last line inside of himself. The one he had told her he would never break, he had broken for her.
"Christ. I…" she started, then faltered and just started crying. Not sobbing, but she just paused there, tears starting to roll down her cheeks. He had laid himself open to her and she had always been able to feel him too well.
McCarron didn't say anything else - as if he could possibly say anything else then - and didn't make a move toward her, giving her space. Part of him wanted to hold her close, but he knew that was wrong, She needed to work through this herself.
"I'm so stupid," she bit out, shaking a little, fingers still coiled around the chain of his St. Christopher medallion that still hung around her neck. "I pleaded my whole life for one person to love me and I found him, fought for him, lost him, got him back … I love him, I really do, and I married him and promised him things that I damn well mean because I thought he was the only one. I've been feeling like this and I told myself it was just me being fucked up." She wiped the water from her eyes. "Somewhere in this … You pray your whole life to find the one, and I just happened to run into two of them in the same lifetime. Somewhere in this I let myself fall in love with you, I just never thought… Fuck, I never thought at all."
Faith was speechless. If she could have gagged, she would have. People moaned and complained when the clapping had ceased. The brunette turned away from the love scene, and quickly headed for the chair, grabbing her jacket, and began slipping it on. "I'm just gonna'...yeah." she pointed to the door, and waved slightly, before hauling ass out of there, and outside.
McCarron saw her move. But it wasn't as if he had a chance to do something. Furthermore, he was looking at somebody who was clearly torn. He could read her thoughts. "You thought it would all go away," he added quietly.
Brittany nodded. "I thought there were explanations, I really did."
"So did I."
Her voice betrayed her uneasiness. "Jimmy, what are we gonna do?"
"I don't know." He hadn't expected this at all. "But what you have to do right now is stay. Because if you walk out, you're just being a scared, whiny little bitch, and I know you're better than that. There are people that need you. And I'm telling you right now I need you more than any of them. Don't fucking walk away now."
"I can't make promises."
"I'm asking you to try." He sighed and crossed to her, tentatively putting his hand on your shoulder. "You want me to give you a sec?"
She nodded. "I think ... I think it'd be best."
"Okay. I'm gonna go and see where she went off to." He moved past her and out the door, looking for Faith. Behind him, Brittany bit her lip and stared at the ring on her finger, wondering what the hell she was going to do next.
"Stupid....stupid!" Faith growled angrily, and kicked a pebble out of the way. She ran her hands through her hair, letting the tears roll down her pale cheeks. She felt like an idiot. Why did she turn good? Why? Wasn't it alot more fun being the evil one? The chick with the sass...and the ass. Buffy...she was to blame. "Things never change..." Faith muttered. "They never do...they never fucking do!" she hissed to herself once more, and feigned for a cigarette in her jacket pocket.
"Don't you go collapsing on me too." McCarron was suddenly there, leaning against the wall, not pushing in the slightest. The look in his eyes said this hadn't been easy for him to say, that he was still in denial of the fact he'd even said it, that something had snapped inside of him.
"Would it actually matter?" her voice was harsh, husky as ever, a hint of a Boston accent, and a sort of depression to the tone. Gripping a silver lighter with one hand, she began to light the cigarette, but it wouldn't light. "Fucking piece of..." finally it lit as Faith just growled to herself, taking an inhale of the cigarette. The nicotine calming her system. "You had me fooled..." she replied, the tone ... not even traceable, it was just blatant.
"What the hell are you talking about?" he replied. "Shit. That's why I needed you here. I needed to keep everybody in one piece. I didn't fucking think I was gonna say that, it just -- It happened. Because it's been fucking in my head for two fucking years!" He seemed almost angry with himself for the lapse of toughness.
"Forget it." She replied, taking the cigarette with a thumb and forefinger, exhaling the smoke in the opposite direction, before turning to face him. "You used me to get to her... " she was so angry. If he only knew of her rocky past... if he only knew...
"Like hell I fucking did. Damn it, I was desperate. She's walking out. She's making the stupidest mistake of her life. I needed to keep her here. And I needed somebody I could trust. Is that such a fucking alien concept? I hate myself for even feeling like this! I hate myself for even putting her in the goddamn position to fuck up her whole life. How do you think I feel? I told her to marry the son of a bitch!"
"Her life?" Faith was going to snap, she could feel it. As she suddenly lifted the cigarette to her lips, taking another inhale. 'Chill Faith, just chill...' she couldn't hold it in much longer. "Look I know...but... see, it's just... you know how some people feel? Like... you know those animals in the tarpits? You just sink lower...and lower every day...." she wiped away a tear with her other hand. Was this about them? Or was this about the self pity she had endured all these years? Maybe she just needed someone to let her let herself go.
"Jesus fucking Christ. Listen to me." His voice was firm and undaunted. "You're a friend. I stay with my friends. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I trust you with this. I haven't told one goddamn person about any of this for two years. Not T.J., not anybody. I was stupid to think I could hold it under for the rest of my life. But I can't do this alone."
"You don't get it, Jimmy... I like you. Alot... and... " she trailed off. What was she to say? She always got what she wanted? Okay, well not always, seeing the down falls of Sunnydale, but, mostly. When it came to men... okay, wrong again Faith, she didn't get Angel.. she didn't get Xander...well she didn't want Xander. She just wanted a good fuck. "I just hope you're very..." she took another inhale of the cigarette, and exhaled slowly. "fucking happy together."
He froze in mid-attempting to conjure up a retort. "Fuck," he said, realizing his mistake. "I didn't know. I still don't know about any of this. It's not as if I can ask her to leave her husband for me," he added cynically. "Whom I've just betrayed after finally getting him to trust me. Fuck the whole thing. Taken me a decade to find somebody and just a few days to fuck it all up."
She took a deep breath. "No seriously... be happy, you got what you wanted..."
"That doesn't mean I don't worry about you."
"You hardly know me.."
"That doesn't matter. I trust you." He paused, "If there's one thing I've learned in all of this it's not to listen to anybody but yourself."
"Definitely the truth..." she nodded, smirking slightly. "But...yeah... thanks... I guess. I trust you too... " she knew she trusted him. She trusted him with her very heart and soul. Funny how a person can change you. "I'm being selfish I know...but... hey, a person does pretty fucked up things when they like a person, ya' know?" taking one last inhale, she let the cigarette fall from her palm, putting it out with her boot.
"Well, if you want to feel better, we could always swing by T.J.'s place and give him hell for being a self-pitying asshole." McCarron grinned slightly. "The sad thing in all this is I told her, I believed it in my gut, I was never going to care about anybody but myself. Four years later and I'm doing stupid shit like this."
"It's not stupid." she sighed slightly, taking a step forward to him. "You're brave... you're fuckin' brave Jimmy... and you love her... she knows this...but you're kind of in deep shit with her hubby...but, hey, at least you guys have eachother. " she laughed lightly at the T.J comment. "We go get drunk and then take him to an American Idol concert..." she snickered.
"I didn't think she loved me. I didn't expect that answer. I really didn't." He shook his head. "Yeah. He needs to get out. He's been thrown around and bitched at and whatever his whole damn life. I ask for it - he never does. You want to talk about people who get screwed by love, T.J. McCabe is a prime example." He paused. "This was easier when I hated Michael. I could tell her she was wrong to be with him. But I don't hate him now. I know him. The guy trusts me. He asked me to do this. Now what am I going to tell him? I didn't have the self-control to respect his marriage?"
"You could always take a grey hound... but then, that would only be running away." she trailed off at the thought of her own past issues and mistakes. "Or ...you could both go to him...and ask him for the respect you deserve."
He nodded, taking this into serious consideration. "He might get it," he theorized tentatively. "Given that the two of them took like three years to get back to each other. They haven't had it easy either. That's part of why he married her. She's all he's got left. He gave up his life, his country, everything to be with her. That is something I could never do. And he wants kids. I shouldn't be allowed to have kids. I'd fucking traumatize them."
Faith laughed slightly. "You and kids... ha..." in all serious-ness though she nodded. "Do what you know is in your heart..." those were wise words. "Or some shit like that." those weren't.
"It's not as easy as what I feel though. She wants a marriage and a commitment. I don't know. I have no idea. I think she'd compel it out of me eventually. But there's that flip side too. When I'm with her ... she makes me want to not be so angry, and you know, that's part of who I am. Part of what I do. We're already changing each other. I don't want to completely cop out and turn into Frank."
Faith shrugged. "I gave you my wise words, now where the fuck is my fairy godmother?" . "Maybe you guys... should just date?..." she shrugged. "Not rush into anything. Make it special for her. Just the two of you, somewhere nice, like the first time out."
"Yeah. Probably. She deserves it, fucking martyr that she is. God, I hope she's still here and hasn't taken off on me." He paused, laying a hand on her shoulder. "What about you? You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah. I need to go home for a while, get my head together. I'll call you in the morning, and we can go help T.J to that concert." she laughed lightly, smiling.
"Yeah. Listen, you call me whenever you need to. I'm up most of the night and I imagine I'm not even going to attempt sleeping now." He chuckled. "I'll make you a promise, okay? Things don't work out here ... I'll be around."
"Promise?" she smirked, just being a smart ass.
"I always keep my promises." He chuckled. "I will spare you the comment that T.J. needs a woman. He's more attached to his gun than any person I can think of."
She laughed whole heartedly, before heading back for her car. "Promise kept... "She smirked, and blew him a kiss just being a smart ass again, hm, definitely her nature, as she pulled open the car door, and slipped inside, taking note of the handicap sign on Brittany's car, and just smiled, and slammed the door shut, before jamming the key into the ignition, and started up the engine, pulling out of the drive way. "Later McCarron." she smiled, as she rolled down the window, driving away.
He grinned and waved, watching her go before he turned and headed back inside. She was sitting back at the table, staring at her hands. He came up behind her, put his hands on her shoulders. "It's up to you where we go from here," he said quietly.
She nodded, her voice quiet. "Right now? We go home, and we hope that tomorrow ... we hope that things make sense."
She stood and looked at him a long moment before she hugged him, and he knew that there was fear and concern in her eyes, not for herself, but for him, for Michael, for what might become of them all.
McCarron was sitting on the hood of the Alero, waiting for Faith and Brittany to show up. Part of his brain thought he was being a lunatic even attempting such a strange scenario. Firstly, the woman he was trying to fool was pretty damn smart, and secondly, he was almost kind of betraying the confidence he had with her husband. Fuck. The conversation he'd had the other night with Faith had unsettled him. It had made him start to question if two men could be in love with the same woman and be friends after all. Maybe he'd just been lying to himself. He no longer knew.
He heard the whine of a familiar engine and the Mazda sports car pulled up into a nearby parking space. Brittany arrived in black suede jacket, jeans and the ever-familiar one of the nine billion San Diego Padres T-shirts she owned. She was still wearing his medallion and her wedding ring, which didn't help his screwed-up subconscious any. There was that light in her eyes and an ever-ready smile on her face as she approached. "Hey, Jimmy," she said openly, and he couldn't help but smile. "Hey yourself. I'm glad you could make it."
She nodded. "Me too." There were kisses on the cheek that seemed to linger and an embrace that was about five seconds past friendly.
"Yeah… yeah… thanks… thank you…" Faith couldn’t have thanked the man enough. It was strange, the relationships she made with people. Or even the tiny friendships. Or… of course pummeling the bartender for his car, that was more fun. Smirking slightly, black sunglasses perched ontop of the brunette’s head, as a little red sports car pulled up. The engine had stopped, as the car door was opened, a chocolate brunette wearing a lime green halter top, a designer black leather jacket (hm, wonder where she got that?) and black slacks stepped out of the car. Keys jingling in Faith’s hand, as she slammed the door shut, but gently. Black combat boots clunking slightly on the ground.
"Yeah…so I got the call and…-what the fuck?!" her expression dropped as she laid eyes on Brittany, gawking.
Brittany turned around and stared momentarily. She had to get used to this. Of course, she had met Tru, so that had taken the edge off it. There were ways to tell them apart - the perpetual light in her eyes, the fact that God and everyone could tell she was a San Diego original thanks to the massive All-Star Game ring on the other hand (not to mention the shirt), the polished look she had been used to maintaining for years since joining civil service. She hesitated just that second.
It was enough to get her old friend to intervene. "Brittany, this is Faith, she's a friend of mine. Faith, this is Brittany Colefield, I told you about her." That was all he was going to allude to, of course, and his eyes said as much.
The federal agent nodded, taking this in stride, and offered her hand. "Pleasure to meet you. Excuse the childish moments, I haven't been here since I was a kid."
Faith stopped gawking like an idiot, taking note that her 'cool-ness' factor had and would be spoiled if she continued to act like Buffy, and extended her hand, shaking Brit's with a firm grip. "No prob, yeah, nice to meetcha' too." she nodded, casting McCarron a look of pure death and astonishment, but quickly reverted her expression back to that of a laid back one to Brittany, before the other woman could even catch the glance. She wasn't amused. Someone... that looked like her? What was this, alternate universe? Were there big bads?
"How's T.J.?" Brittany asked, genuinely concerned. "Is he...?"
"He's fine," McCarron said, cutting her off. "Shut up about him. Seriously."
She nodded. "I'm sorry. I just -- I'm the one that shot his ass."
"We know." Jimmy shook his head, indicating it was a dead subject. "Anyway. Let's get the hell in there."
The three of them walked into a building that obviously had been built in the early to mid 90's but hadn't quite looked like a dive just yet. An arcade sparsely filled but with plenty of noise to make up for the lack of people. Brittany stared, taking the place in. It had been a long while since she had been here. With time running out, she might as well enjoy it. "So. I feel like I should start a conversation but I have nothing to say," she quipped.
"Likewise." Faith mused, letting her gaze wander, perhaps like a small child's attention span, this place was kinda' neat. "I could really go for some ribs right now..." she muttered absent mindedly.
"I think there should be a restaurant in the parking lot. Did you want to do dinner first? I just got off work, I haven't done much of anything. Of course it's not actually really work anymore. I don't have a badge anymore." Brittany shook her head, obviously still grappling with that decision.
"I thought you'd probably be loaded on caffeine," was Jimmy's sarcastic comment as he absentmindedly took her hand. "What, did you miss a frappucino break in there somewhere?"
"Shut the hell up about that." She rolled her eyes and chuckled, turning to Faith. "Please tell me this isn't what he's been telling you about me."
To save both their asses Faith just grinned. "Of course not." she laughed lightly. "Up to you guys, dinners great for me... or whatever you want." she was being too nice. But then again. How often was it she actually got friends? She knew in her heart though, that those two belonged to eachother. But...she had a thing for McCarron. The plot thickens.
They reversed course and headed back out of the building. "Hey, my car's still here," Brittany quipped. The Mazda was a lot flashier than she would have expected to be driving, and she was often surprised it hadn't been carjacked yet.
McCarron rolled his eyes again. It was obvious that she was a lot more positive than he was, but that it offset his own cynicism quite well. There was probably a long and complicated history between the two of them, a story that would take all night and copious quantities of alcohol were it ever to be told in its entirety. He paused, "It's probably the four guns hidden under the paneling that'll do it."
"Three. There are three guns in my car," she corrected as they crossed the parking lot. "The SigArm from CTU, the Ehrlich from the armory, and the CIB thing for the vampires, which I don't know why I still have that."
Faith perked her head up a little, and coughed once. "Vampires?...." she asked.
Brittany nodded. "Code Five is the technical term. Michael used to work for an organization in London that was fighting the invasion there. When he came here, it followed him and well ... Jimmy and I were part of a strike force based here in L.A. Doesn't exist anymore, though. We split up after we took care of things in England. That's how the two of us started working together. We'd met before that, but I was working with Frank at the time."
"Frank Smith," McCarron clarified. "Her ex and my former enemy. Yes, we were that bad," he said before Brittany could say anything. "He still gets on my nerves."
"There's no such thing as vampires..."Faith laughed to cover her tracks.
Brittany's light took on a whole different cast. It was obvious now that she wasn't just a sweet and innocent federal agent. She had been around to see a lot of things. "I was almost killed fighting a counterinsurgence a few years ago. If not for Jimmy, I would've died. Both of us almost got killed again doing the same thing in London a few months ago. I know they exist. I've got the scars to prove it."
"You wouldn't happen to have heard of B-, I mean, Buffy, wouldya'?" she asked, totally changing the subject.
"I don't think so." The ex-federal agent shook her head. "The only people I know of are Mike's old squadmates with CIB. Not like they were a particularly good bunch of people." She made a low sound in her throat somewhere between a harsh chuckle and a growl. McCarron's grasp on her hand tightened, letting her know he was there, warning her not to go down that way again. The way he looked at her showed a genuine concern that would have been surprising to anyone else who even claimed to know him.
"Good, good." Faith nodded slightly. Half heartedly jealous of Buffy, but also thankful in some ways that they didn't know of her. She didn't know what else to say, she felt like she didn't belong there. She would of said something nice, but decided to hold her tongue.
"Eh, it's all in the past." Brittany held the door for her friends as they arrived at the restaurant, then found herself interrupted by the theme from ER. "Damn, I have to take this," she said, excusing herself.
Jimmy swore under his breath. Michael was supposed to have made sure she didn't have her cell phone. He nodded and watched her go, not happy with that screwup in the slightest.
"Chill, okay? You're all tense..." Faith said gently, as she glanced to Jimmy. She was trying to be sincere to her friend. But what was the use?
"He just fucked up. She's not supposed to have a phone on her. I need her to focus on what's going on right now." He sighed, working out a sudden cramp at the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. It's just -- She means too much to me for some stupid little thing to screw it up. He of all people should know that."
"It's fine. Looks like, someone is workin' against you is all." she muttered slightly. "Just take it easy... I know we just met, but ... I worry about you." she smiled faintly. "We're friends, ya' know?" she nodded. "She's a nice girl, you guys are good together..."
He smiled thinly. "Thanks. And yeah, I guess I've kind of let her in. I swore I wasn't going to do that, and she said, 'Somebody will change you,' and that's exactly what happened." He rolled his eyes. "I guess I can't really blame Mike. He's got too much crap going on as it is anyway. I just - this is the road we went down before, right before I almost crashed the wedding. Which, there would've been a really stupid idea."
Faith chuckled slightly, and pat him on the shoulder sympathetically. "It's okay, tiger." she smirked.
"Yeah. Could be worse. We could be on fire."
Brittany clapped the phone shut and reappeared on the scene. "I forgot I have a meeting with Durant tomorrow," was the explanation. "That was my courtesy reminder."
"What the hell are you meeting him for?"
"Because he asked."
"Because he has a weird thing about you."
"Many people have a weird thing about me, Jimmy, I'm a 20-year-old decorated ex-federal agent with a marriage and a deep love for my hometown baseball team." Brittany chuckled as they slid into a booth. "I am the variable. I kinda like it," she added, smirking at him. "We've been there anyway. If you told her all our good stories we would be here probably after my flight leaves."
Faith had sat next to Brittany, seeing how it was the fair thing to do. As she looked down at the menu plopped on the table, beginning to look through it, slightly. And spotted the ribs.
"So which one of your nine billion varieties of chicken are you ordering?" Jimmy asked his old friend as he turned pages in the menu.
"I don't know yet." She paused. "How did you..."
"How many times have we eaten together?"
"Yeah, but those are usually business lunches discussing terrorists and/or dead people so I didn't think you'd really give a fuck about what I was eating." She chuckled. "I think I'll keep it simple. Early death is not a good idea."
He coughed as if to protest, but she didn't hear him or had chosen to ignore him.
Faith smirked slightly, licking her lips once, looking dow at the plastic covered menu. It had seemed to look fancy on the inside, but a dump on the outside. Chipped brown paint...a poor sorry excuse for a porch. However, she had to admit, she was looking forward to those ribs. The brunette didn't say a word as the waitress came over, with a notepad ready in hand, and a pencil behind her ear. "May I take your order?" the blonde smiled happily. Looking to them all.
"I'm thinking the fried chicken with the baked potato and Mountain Dew." There was an odd smirk on Brittany's face as she said that, largely because she knew she wasn't supposed to be drinking that much caffeine. She had tried and tried to lay off. Well, fuck it. It never seemed to stick.
As if completely unsurprised by this turn of events, McCarron ordered the prime rib and then decided he needed a beer, blaming it largely on her. She just chuckled, knowing better. She knew just as much about him as he knew about her.
Faith shot a sly look to Jimmy when Brittany had mentioned the fried chicken. Putting on what she liked to call a facade for the public, Faith smiled sweetly to the young waitress. "I'll take the ribs, baked potato...and hell yeah, why not, a beer." she nodded. So much for the facade. The waitress nodded, jotting down all their orders, and smiled sweetly. "I'll be right back with those." then she walked away.
"So, I feel like I'm lording the conversation here," Brittany quipped. "How did you guys meet? I've been in Manchester for a bit with the campaign, so I have no idea what's going on with everybody."
"A strip club actually.... I work there..." Faith wanted to say. But unfortunately, she just responded blandly with. "A bar." she shrugged, looking at one of the napkin dispensers and playing with it idly.
"T.J. felt like getting wasted. Unfortunately, he sucks at that, too. You may have just made him sober up," McCarron explained. "So the usual. He bitched. I committed justifiable violence."
"What did you do?" The way she said it made it clear this had happened before.
"Let me just say the bartender of said establishment will have a newfound respect for the female gender." He sighed. "You know how I get about this."
"Yeah, you beat up my husband, remember? Not that he didn't deserve it then."
"Exactly."
The waitress came back later with two beers, and a Mountain Dew. Placing them down neatly, upon a napkin for each one, on the table. "Here we go." the blonde smiled. "My name is Martha, let me know if I can get you anything more, your food will be done soon." the bright and sunny smile, and tone made Faith sick to her stomach.
"How the fuck do people do that?" Brittany asked, taking a long drink and waiting for the caffeine buzz to hit her. "I mean, I know I'm normally up there, but I can't like ever be that up there. If I am, I'd like someone to shoot me."
"Two words," Jimmy indicated, holding up two fingers, "Adam Eaton."
"Special circumstances," she scoffed. "Anyway. Yeah. Maybe it's just the cynicism of my work -- my former work talking, but man that's disturbing."
Faith laughed lightly, as she took a sip of her beer, enjoying herself. "Bang." she smirked, pretending to hold a gun to Brittany's head, smiling and laughing.
She chuckled. "I've been shot before, really not as bad as it sounds. Took three bullets in Chicago for a friend of mine who now works for me - well, would've worked for me. Dared this one guy to shoot me in London. Michael shot me about two years ago here in L.A. during the bomb scare. So it doesn't really bother me anymore."
Faith furrowed her brow, confused, as if looking like a child. The brunette took another sip of her drink. "You're brave, Brit." she smirked. "Taking bullets for people... " Faith would have done the same...but the time never arised. Maybe... when Angelus had tried to kill her. Was she doing something good then? Almost like taking the bullet for someone.
"It was me or Julian was going to die. I couldn't let that happen. He's too good. And it was the right thing to do." She shrugged, as if it didn't bother her anymore. "But it also goes to show you who your real friends are. Do you know he," and she nodded toward Jimmy, "flew all the way out there to Chicago to see me?"
Faith quirked an eyebrow. "You don't say...." purely teasing Jimmy.
It was obvious Brittany was fairly touched by this moment. "I'm serious. I'm laid up in a Chicago Hope recovery room and there he is."
"It's not a big deal," he protested. Of course he knew he was lying - that had been the second time he had kissed her. He had stayed there with her and he had kissed her, and then when he had found her praying later for the continued protection of her fellow agents, he'd stood there and realized he was well and truly fucked, that he was in love with her. That moment could not have been a bigger deal.
"Not a big deal?" Faith smirked again.
"She was hurt. I was concerned. I called T.J., got on a plane."
"Yeah, but Julian was there with me, Tony was there with me. You didn't have to be there. That meant a lot to me." Brittany smiled thinly at him.
"I sense a relationship being rekindled..." she laughed lightly, as the food arrived. "Here you go!" Martha smiled sweetly, Faith thought her cheeks were going to burst the woman smiled so much. "Thanks..." she said with incredible distaste.
Brittany rolled her eyes and as the waitress walked away, commented, "What's that drug they give hyper kids to get them to sit down and shut up? We need some of that. Or a tranquilizer."
Faith clapped her hands, laughing lightly, as she began to cut up the potato with a silver knife and fork. Until she had found an enormous piece of blonde hair in her meal. "Uh.., yeah."
"Dude. Where is Brian?" Brittany blinked. "I should have him sterilize my food."
"Hey, Lady Lazarus," McCarron quipped, "If a horde of Code Fives beating the shit out of you can't kill you, this isn't gonna come close."
Truth be told it was one of their most painful memories. It was no secret that she had intended to martyr herself to save him and the rest of the Code Black strike team. The pain she had been through and the months of recovery had been hell for her, and he could still remember her dead weight in his arms, the torturous wait outside the infirmary as chief medical officer Brian Holt, in clear anguish focused into extreme dedication, performed hours of surgery. They could joke about it now, years later, but it was still perhaps the biggest sacrifice in both their memories.
"It wasn't this bad when you guys went here, was it?" she asked, letting the piece of hair slip out of her fingers, staring at her food as if it was cat vomit.
"I haven't been here since I was a kid. Early nineties, maybe. 93, 94." Brittany shrugged. "Hopefully, that's a freak accident."
"Well..." Faith tried to think of some other topic for conversation. "Uh..."
"If we get really bored, I could go on about all the interesting scars I seem to have accumulated," Brittany quipped sarcastically.
"Yeah. All nine of them," Jimmy replied flatly.
Faith quirked an eyebrow, and smirked slightly. "Where are the scars exactly?" she asked looking to Jimmy, playfully.
He stared at her momentarily, but figured it wouldn't kill him to admit to the ones that were general knowledge. "There is a bitch of one on her right shoulder blade and three of them near the small of her back from a SWAT operation we worked together."
A burst of tears, as the blonde Martha came out of the kitchen. "YOU FUCKING DICK!" she screamed, as her apron was thrown at her. Apparently, too many people couldn't stand her. Faith stared at Brittany and Jimmy in awe. "So, bar?" she asked, as Martha began out of the place. "There was hair in!-" but the door shut before Faith could get through to her. "my food..." she finished idly.
"I am hoping that I don't have to go back to my car and get my gun," was McCarron's terse comment.
Faith snickered, and slid out from the booth so Brittany could get out.
"Well. Yeah. This is interesting, Jimmy, thanks for getting me out of the house," she commented as she slipped out. "Next time, we'll go golfing in Los Feliz and I'm sure it'll be just as much fun."
"Golfing? I'd shoot myself first."
"My thoughts exactly." She glanced at them both, "Do we dare hang around or should we run like hell?"
"What about bowling?" Faith snickered.
"No, no, no, bowling is fun. Bowling is great fun. It turns sucking miserably into an art form," Brittany said, smiling. "Frank and I went bowling once."
"Frank is too fucking happy for his own good," McCarron quipped as they pushed out the door.
"I don't get why you two can't get along. Please. You're both dear to me."
"Because we don't see things the same way and we never will," was the explanation. "And because every time someone mentions your name he regresses to a state of childhood."
Faith kept quiet for the time being, as they started to head along, but really, she was deep in thought.
"It's not my fault," Brittany protested. "Look. Okay. I loved him. We dated for a year or whatever. We broke up. You know this. I owe him for keeping me sane, Jimmy. He was safe."
"I know. Nobody's blaming you, we're just saying..." He paused. "He's still in love with you and you're the only one that doesn't see it." Not to mention how much of an ass he felt for being in love with her too.
"It's just because he hasn't found anybody else yet. He's sweet. He'll find somebody without angst issues and a potential death. He will. It's just gonna take him some time." She sighed. "Frank is the kind of guy who settles down and has kids and lives happily ever after. I have an apartment, three guns and any children of mine would come to potential harm."
"Bowling....golf.....bowling....-" Faith's palms rose up and down like a scale, doing it on purpose to get them out of their argument.
"Bowling involves heavy artillery with the potential for moments that live in comic infamy. We golf, I'm just gonna quote Swingers." Brittany smiled slightly. "I gotta talk to Frank anyway before I go. He called me in Manchester totally confused. I'll talk to him," she promised Jimmy.
He nodded. "I think he'd appreciate that. Seriously. You're good at making people listen to you," he added, which was true, except for the time he'd ignored her and saved her life, but that was another story.
"Only because I'm loud and/or people don't understand me. So. We should get the hell out of here."
"Agreed." was the only word Faith could muster up. Though she was thinking. But what about in particular was the hard part.
"Right." Brittany produced the keys to the MX-8, walking over to the midnight blue sports car. A couple of buttons had it unlocked and she threw open the driver's side door. "Let's see what we can do here," she said, reaching over to the center console and activating a touch-screen display with the CTU logo. A couple of more keys and she was clued into a map display. "Okay. So what are we looking for?"
Faith shrugged absent mindedly, now trying to concentrate on the screen. She had to also admit, the sports car was quite a steal-er, find, yes, find. "Whatever you guys want." she nodded. The brunette had always been laid back, but maybe she was letting too much slip out of her hands. However this wasn't her familiar territory, it was theirs.
"Let me see what I can do." Brittany's eyes were scanning the map. She had used it many times before in order to plan assaults, recons and all sorts of business-related things. It felt kind of fun to be using it for something where no one would get killed. "Hey, there's a Dave & Buster's across town. Anyone in the mood for some gaming?"
"I'm game." Faith replied, smirking slightly at the pun. She looked to Jimmy for a response.
He smirked. "T.J. would be proud were he not home doing I don't even want to know what. All right. Let's ride."
Brittany quickly and simply relayed the directions. "Dare I even ask what's in your CD player right now?" she asked him as she shoved her keys in the ignition.
He snorted. "Same thing that's in yours. See you in a few," he said, squeezing her shoulder.
"Later." Faith nodded, slightly, taking note of the squeeze to the shoulder for Brittany. That was definitely body language... she of all people knew that. Sighing slightly to herself, the clunky combat boots once again sauntered back to the small sports car that she had gotten from the bartender. Cracking her neck side to side, the brunette took ahold of the handle, and pulled it open, slipping inside. Before fidgeting once to find the keys in her jacket pocket, and finally jammed them into the ignition, starting up the engine, and began to back out. She'd follow whoever was leading.
Completely unsurprisingly, the sound of Breaking Benjamin's heavy rock guitar suddenly seemed to fill the parking lot. McCarron gunned the engine and backed out of his parking space, the silver Alero still having a great enough stereo to put up with his proclivity. He wrenched the volume another notch before listening intently to the noise. Sure enough, the Mazda had the same guitar depth. Different song. Same band. He shook his head. They'd both been right.
Fiddling with the music stations had to be the most obnoxious thing ever. Faith sighed once, as one hand was cautious on the wheel, glancing back to the road every once in a while, until the radio landed on a country station. "Oh fuck no." Faith muttered, slightly, following the other cars, into the right lane.
Brittany was using the CTU satellite system to make sure she was on course. Of course, she reminded herself, the tracking device in the car would tell somebody somewhere she was moving. Reminded of this, she reached for her cell phone, turned it off and threw it in the glove box. "Just in case he calls me again," she said to no one in particular.
The chocolate brunette finally landed on some type of rock station playing 'Down with the sickness', which wasn't such a bad song to her. Clearly grooving in the car, but with both hands on the wheel now, Faith nodded her head to the music, as they stopped at a light. "Ugggh." she muttered.
McCarron was thinking to himself somewhere in the middle of 'Breakdown.' His objectives were fucked up, he knew. He couldn't let Brittany go back to Manchester and he had one chance to convince her of that. He just didn't know how to do it. She kept distracting him with her optimism. No one had ever been able to do that. It was a flaw he needed to fix quickly. Not to mention that he heard a clock ticking in the back of his head. The Alero screamed off the line, feeling his frustration.
Finally that light had read 'green'. "Thank you!" Faith banged both pale, slender hands upon the steering wheel, taking a left, where Brittany had turned. Until another car had beeped at her, in which Faith replied with the finger.
The drive seemed to go faster than Brittany had thought, but she figured that aggressive driving had taken care of that. Obviously somebody was overdue a few games of Time Crisis. She eased into a handicapped spot, grabbed her parking placard and threw it in its place, locked the vehicle and smirked as she jumped out to the sudden odd silence that meant McCarron's massive stereo had been silenced. "How do you not go deaf?" she quipped, and he rolled his eyes.
Faith nearly burst out laughing when she spotted the handicap space that Brittany had pulled into. Shaking her head slightly, as she rolled down the window. "Wow, what a tragedy." she smirked, pulling up beside her in a normal space.
"You would not believe the people who flip me off," Brittany quipped. "I tell 'em, talk to the guy that delivered me three months early." She shook her head and held the door open for everybody. "Welcome to my childhood."
Faith snickered, as she let Jimmy in first, and trailed behind him as Brittany had held the door open. "Fancy place." that of course was pure sarcasm.
"I grew up a gamer in San Diego," she said by way of explanation, advancing towards the more serene middle of the room and finding them a table. "My vices in life - baseball, video games and poker."
"Haha." Faith smiled slightly, as she took a seat at the table, and looked around. "Man, wish there was shit like this up in Boston... the only time I had fun was when I jumped off that pierre."
"You did what?" Jimmy asked, straddling his chair and resting his chin on his forearms.
"I'm just so adventurous." she smirked.
He smiled openly. "You and me both."
Brittany nodded. "He's like my other half. I grew up watching the Padres at Qualcomm and reading lots of books."
"Spiffy." she replied, slipping off her jacket, and placing it on the back of the chair. Then she spotted it... Buffy the vampire slayer...... the video game. "What the...fuck?" her eyes widened. It was a two player game, with .....guns for controllers.
"The hell?" McCarron asked, following. "What the fuck is that?"
"I don't know, but it's so not funny. Considering I had at least six of the fuckers on my ass." Brittany didn't look happy either.
"No it's not funny!" Faith kept her gaze on the game, as she began up over to it, and looked to the kids playing it. "Buffy rocks!" one of them told her. Faith could feel the fury building up inside.
"I'm gonna go blow some shit up," Brittany said, growling. "Find me a fucking Time Crisis machine. Now." She stalked off. McCarron looked after her. "She's right. We should just walk away."
"Gimme that." Faith sighed, as the kid lost the game, and began to examine it. "Who the hell fights vampires with guns?" she took out her own stake from her pocket, and held it up. "These my friends...work the charm..." she didn't give a shit. Her cover was blown.
"What the hell are you doing?" McCarron said. "Let's not fucking traumatize people here." He was going to get to that himself, later.
"People are stupid...hello FAITH, FAITH the vampire slayer!" She grumbled. Of course not loud enough for anyone to hear her.
"Don't let it get to you. Seriously. I've already got her on my hands. We cannot fuck this up, not now." He was obviously torqued, though not with her. "Catch up with me when you're done. I need to go deal with her before she kills somebody."
He turned and walked off; a moment more and he could be seen talking to Brittany, who was in the middle of shooting somebody. After a moment, she threw the gun down and they could be heard talking. It was obviously not a civil conversation.
"How many people have begged you to stay?" McCarron shot back. "Jack, Kim, Brian, Weiss, Arica, we could probably make a fucking list."
"They'll find somebody else. I was just their girl Friday. They can get somebody who's a real hero."
"They don't need a hero. They need you. You're not here to be the guy who shoots the bad guys down or saves the situation - that's on me, that's on Jack, that's on Michael. You're here to keep us together. We need you to make us work. Me and Frank, me and Mike, me and McNorris, all of us, you make us work together. You make us better people. We don't need you to be perfect or to be a hero. We need you to be who you are."
"I don't even know who I am right now," she said, and turned on her heel.
"Eeeeeeeeert. I'm sorry, but you have the wrong answer." Faith put both her thumbs down looking to Jimmy, and motioned for him to go after Brit.
He nodded and grabbed her by the arm. "You're not allowed to leave," he said brusquely.
Brittany turned back, wrenching away from his grip, and stared at him. "I'm not allowed? Who started dictating what I could do with my life?"
He was undaunted. "I'm drawing the line in the sand right now, I'm making the choice for you because you can't make it for yourself. I'm taking control of this situation and I'm telling you that you're not leaving, because I love you."
Faith felt herself gag suddenly, and turned around facing the game machine, she wanted to kick it. But if she did that, the thing would tip over and the screen would smash. Trying her hardest, she turned back around, with a fake smile on her lips, looking down to the ground. Yeah. See? What happens when she meddles... she loses the guy. And like lightning she could make him give into his darkest sins to get with her...but Brittany...and McCarron belonged with each other. And she wasn't bad anymore...no way was she going to go meddle in his business. Or Brit's for that matter.
The words had come out of him in a vehement spiel and the last three, the ones he'd swore he couldn't, wouldn't say, simply fell out. McCarron's whole body tensed as if he was in denial of himself, as if even he hadn't realized what he'd become. They were out there now and he wouldn't take them back. He watched her face, watched her stare become less cold and more - was that shock? Awe? Recognition? She stared, then looked away.
"Jimmy." Her invocation of his name was but a whisper. "What happened to the guy who said he'd never be in love?"
"You happened." He chuckled cynically. "You think I like feeling like this? Never mind the last two years, these last few months…" His eyes flashed as he shook his head, recalling it all in the space of those few seconds. "I know I'm the one that told you to marry him. He's the safe choice, he's the secure choice, and he's a good guy, I see that now. I told myself that we could both love you, that I could be friends with him, that I could be okay with this, and fucking hell, I have been trying, but I'm only human! You're in my gut, under my skin, and I want you, and I can't help that - it's damn well destroying me and you're still all that I want. I don't like this feeling. I don't like putting anyone in a position to get hurt. But you're killing me, Brittany. He married you. He can go with you. I can't. You walk out on me, you're fucking gonna kill me. And as much as I hate the slow death I'm dying here, I'd hate losing you more. So yeah. I love you, and that's what it's come to."
She had to get out. Had to do something. She knew there was no turning back now. No stopping the tears that threatened to fall. But one thing you knew about Faith. She didn't cry. Faith never cried. Unless.. of course she was with someone she trusted. But she didn't love the guy, just lusted for him. He was just in the moment, sort of say. Nodding silently, she lifted her hazel brown gaze from the floor. The arcade seemed quiet, until....YES.... someone...started the slow clap. And it sure as hell wasn't Faith. The entire room, even the kids with the tickets for their games and runny noses, began to clap. But like a sudden wave, Faith gave everyone a look. "Fuck off." she muttered, shooing people away.
If Brittany had any idea what the hell was going on around her, she didn't give any indication. Relentless one-track mind when it mattered, all the paperwork said. She just seemed ... painfully lost. Through this whole tirade her eyes had never left him, and there was water in them now. She knew how difficult it had been for him to even make the first admission of any emotion at all, all those months ago, and he had crossed the last line inside of himself. The one he had told her he would never break, he had broken for her.
"Christ. I…" she started, then faltered and just started crying. Not sobbing, but she just paused there, tears starting to roll down her cheeks. He had laid himself open to her and she had always been able to feel him too well.
McCarron didn't say anything else - as if he could possibly say anything else then - and didn't make a move toward her, giving her space. Part of him wanted to hold her close, but he knew that was wrong, She needed to work through this herself.
"I'm so stupid," she bit out, shaking a little, fingers still coiled around the chain of his St. Christopher medallion that still hung around her neck. "I pleaded my whole life for one person to love me and I found him, fought for him, lost him, got him back … I love him, I really do, and I married him and promised him things that I damn well mean because I thought he was the only one. I've been feeling like this and I told myself it was just me being fucked up." She wiped the water from her eyes. "Somewhere in this … You pray your whole life to find the one, and I just happened to run into two of them in the same lifetime. Somewhere in this I let myself fall in love with you, I just never thought… Fuck, I never thought at all."
Faith was speechless. If she could have gagged, she would have. People moaned and complained when the clapping had ceased. The brunette turned away from the love scene, and quickly headed for the chair, grabbing her jacket, and began slipping it on. "I'm just gonna'...yeah." she pointed to the door, and waved slightly, before hauling ass out of there, and outside.
McCarron saw her move. But it wasn't as if he had a chance to do something. Furthermore, he was looking at somebody who was clearly torn. He could read her thoughts. "You thought it would all go away," he added quietly.
Brittany nodded. "I thought there were explanations, I really did."
"So did I."
Her voice betrayed her uneasiness. "Jimmy, what are we gonna do?"
"I don't know." He hadn't expected this at all. "But what you have to do right now is stay. Because if you walk out, you're just being a scared, whiny little bitch, and I know you're better than that. There are people that need you. And I'm telling you right now I need you more than any of them. Don't fucking walk away now."
"I can't make promises."
"I'm asking you to try." He sighed and crossed to her, tentatively putting his hand on your shoulder. "You want me to give you a sec?"
She nodded. "I think ... I think it'd be best."
"Okay. I'm gonna go and see where she went off to." He moved past her and out the door, looking for Faith. Behind him, Brittany bit her lip and stared at the ring on her finger, wondering what the hell she was going to do next.
"Stupid....stupid!" Faith growled angrily, and kicked a pebble out of the way. She ran her hands through her hair, letting the tears roll down her pale cheeks. She felt like an idiot. Why did she turn good? Why? Wasn't it alot more fun being the evil one? The chick with the sass...and the ass. Buffy...she was to blame. "Things never change..." Faith muttered. "They never do...they never fucking do!" she hissed to herself once more, and feigned for a cigarette in her jacket pocket.
"Don't you go collapsing on me too." McCarron was suddenly there, leaning against the wall, not pushing in the slightest. The look in his eyes said this hadn't been easy for him to say, that he was still in denial of the fact he'd even said it, that something had snapped inside of him.
"Would it actually matter?" her voice was harsh, husky as ever, a hint of a Boston accent, and a sort of depression to the tone. Gripping a silver lighter with one hand, she began to light the cigarette, but it wouldn't light. "Fucking piece of..." finally it lit as Faith just growled to herself, taking an inhale of the cigarette. The nicotine calming her system. "You had me fooled..." she replied, the tone ... not even traceable, it was just blatant.
"What the hell are you talking about?" he replied. "Shit. That's why I needed you here. I needed to keep everybody in one piece. I didn't fucking think I was gonna say that, it just -- It happened. Because it's been fucking in my head for two fucking years!" He seemed almost angry with himself for the lapse of toughness.
"Forget it." She replied, taking the cigarette with a thumb and forefinger, exhaling the smoke in the opposite direction, before turning to face him. "You used me to get to her... " she was so angry. If he only knew of her rocky past... if he only knew...
"Like hell I fucking did. Damn it, I was desperate. She's walking out. She's making the stupidest mistake of her life. I needed to keep her here. And I needed somebody I could trust. Is that such a fucking alien concept? I hate myself for even feeling like this! I hate myself for even putting her in the goddamn position to fuck up her whole life. How do you think I feel? I told her to marry the son of a bitch!"
"Her life?" Faith was going to snap, she could feel it. As she suddenly lifted the cigarette to her lips, taking another inhale. 'Chill Faith, just chill...' she couldn't hold it in much longer. "Look I know...but... see, it's just... you know how some people feel? Like... you know those animals in the tarpits? You just sink lower...and lower every day...." she wiped away a tear with her other hand. Was this about them? Or was this about the self pity she had endured all these years? Maybe she just needed someone to let her let herself go.
"Jesus fucking Christ. Listen to me." His voice was firm and undaunted. "You're a friend. I stay with my friends. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I trust you with this. I haven't told one goddamn person about any of this for two years. Not T.J., not anybody. I was stupid to think I could hold it under for the rest of my life. But I can't do this alone."
"You don't get it, Jimmy... I like you. Alot... and... " she trailed off. What was she to say? She always got what she wanted? Okay, well not always, seeing the down falls of Sunnydale, but, mostly. When it came to men... okay, wrong again Faith, she didn't get Angel.. she didn't get Xander...well she didn't want Xander. She just wanted a good fuck. "I just hope you're very..." she took another inhale of the cigarette, and exhaled slowly. "fucking happy together."
He froze in mid-attempting to conjure up a retort. "Fuck," he said, realizing his mistake. "I didn't know. I still don't know about any of this. It's not as if I can ask her to leave her husband for me," he added cynically. "Whom I've just betrayed after finally getting him to trust me. Fuck the whole thing. Taken me a decade to find somebody and just a few days to fuck it all up."
She took a deep breath. "No seriously... be happy, you got what you wanted..."
"That doesn't mean I don't worry about you."
"You hardly know me.."
"That doesn't matter. I trust you." He paused, "If there's one thing I've learned in all of this it's not to listen to anybody but yourself."
"Definitely the truth..." she nodded, smirking slightly. "But...yeah... thanks... I guess. I trust you too... " she knew she trusted him. She trusted him with her very heart and soul. Funny how a person can change you. "I'm being selfish I know...but... hey, a person does pretty fucked up things when they like a person, ya' know?" taking one last inhale, she let the cigarette fall from her palm, putting it out with her boot.
"Well, if you want to feel better, we could always swing by T.J.'s place and give him hell for being a self-pitying asshole." McCarron grinned slightly. "The sad thing in all this is I told her, I believed it in my gut, I was never going to care about anybody but myself. Four years later and I'm doing stupid shit like this."
"It's not stupid." she sighed slightly, taking a step forward to him. "You're brave... you're fuckin' brave Jimmy... and you love her... she knows this...but you're kind of in deep shit with her hubby...but, hey, at least you guys have eachother. " she laughed lightly at the T.J comment. "We go get drunk and then take him to an American Idol concert..." she snickered.
"I didn't think she loved me. I didn't expect that answer. I really didn't." He shook his head. "Yeah. He needs to get out. He's been thrown around and bitched at and whatever his whole damn life. I ask for it - he never does. You want to talk about people who get screwed by love, T.J. McCabe is a prime example." He paused. "This was easier when I hated Michael. I could tell her she was wrong to be with him. But I don't hate him now. I know him. The guy trusts me. He asked me to do this. Now what am I going to tell him? I didn't have the self-control to respect his marriage?"
"You could always take a grey hound... but then, that would only be running away." she trailed off at the thought of her own past issues and mistakes. "Or ...you could both go to him...and ask him for the respect you deserve."
He nodded, taking this into serious consideration. "He might get it," he theorized tentatively. "Given that the two of them took like three years to get back to each other. They haven't had it easy either. That's part of why he married her. She's all he's got left. He gave up his life, his country, everything to be with her. That is something I could never do. And he wants kids. I shouldn't be allowed to have kids. I'd fucking traumatize them."
Faith laughed slightly. "You and kids... ha..." in all serious-ness though she nodded. "Do what you know is in your heart..." those were wise words. "Or some shit like that." those weren't.
"It's not as easy as what I feel though. She wants a marriage and a commitment. I don't know. I have no idea. I think she'd compel it out of me eventually. But there's that flip side too. When I'm with her ... she makes me want to not be so angry, and you know, that's part of who I am. Part of what I do. We're already changing each other. I don't want to completely cop out and turn into Frank."
Faith shrugged. "I gave you my wise words, now where the fuck is my fairy godmother?" . "Maybe you guys... should just date?..." she shrugged. "Not rush into anything. Make it special for her. Just the two of you, somewhere nice, like the first time out."
"Yeah. Probably. She deserves it, fucking martyr that she is. God, I hope she's still here and hasn't taken off on me." He paused, laying a hand on her shoulder. "What about you? You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah. I need to go home for a while, get my head together. I'll call you in the morning, and we can go help T.J to that concert." she laughed lightly, smiling.
"Yeah. Listen, you call me whenever you need to. I'm up most of the night and I imagine I'm not even going to attempt sleeping now." He chuckled. "I'll make you a promise, okay? Things don't work out here ... I'll be around."
"Promise?" she smirked, just being a smart ass.
"I always keep my promises." He chuckled. "I will spare you the comment that T.J. needs a woman. He's more attached to his gun than any person I can think of."
She laughed whole heartedly, before heading back for her car. "Promise kept... "She smirked, and blew him a kiss just being a smart ass again, hm, definitely her nature, as she pulled open the car door, and slipped inside, taking note of the handicap sign on Brittany's car, and just smiled, and slammed the door shut, before jamming the key into the ignition, and started up the engine, pulling out of the drive way. "Later McCarron." she smiled, as she rolled down the window, driving away.
He grinned and waved, watching her go before he turned and headed back inside. She was sitting back at the table, staring at her hands. He came up behind her, put his hands on her shoulders. "It's up to you where we go from here," he said quietly.
She nodded, her voice quiet. "Right now? We go home, and we hope that tomorrow ... we hope that things make sense."
She stood and looked at him a long moment before she hugged him, and he knew that there was fear and concern in her eyes, not for herself, but for him, for Michael, for what might become of them all.