(no subject)
Well, when we need to scream into the void and just put of our feelings but cannot bring ourselves to do it more socially... here we are
Why in the fuckity fuck does life have this incessant way of bringing anything remotely good into something so vile? Everything I do I try to be nice and kind, respectful, and I get walked all over. I know there is no kudos points and no one owes me anything. I act how I do because I feel it is right. Sometimes I wonder if thats ever going to pay off. I'm sick of my job, I hate where I live, I have lost all my prospects and wants and I have no escape. The little tiny things that kept me going have all but disappeared and it sucks to know that everyone else has fed off my doings and are exceptionally doing well. Great for them, but when do I get to be selfish, when do I get to just drop everything and rely on someone else to bring me happiness?
Fuck.... this just sucks alot and i've not had a proper outlet and when i find some happy to carry around, it gets shit on. Its no ones fault but my own I suppose. But this was cathartic. This was strangely helpful. I promise i'm not some self-centered tryhard or incel. I just needed to vent. Tomorrow is another day and I can keep on working toward something better. I have that much still