(no subject)
Title: Decisions.
Chapter 7
This is a story I wrote in Italian more or less 2 years ago, it’s my the first BBM fiction, since then I started writing in English directly.
This is an AU settled in normal time and place, different from my Bluebells and Roses.
Disclaimer: the talented Mrs. Proulx owns the original story and characters.
Special thanks again to my dear beta Sam, her work is more useful than ever here.
Sorry for the delay, I spent August away from pc plus me & Sam’s servers had some trouble in accepting each other’s mails.
Thanks to all of you who left a comment and thanks thanks thanks for your patience, too.
Coming home wasn’t so hard for Ennis, compared to his travel South.
He wasn’t tired so he drove all night, with a two hour stop just before dawn to sleep a little.
He reached Riverton on Sunday morning; his girls were riding their bicycles - bought at the second hand charity sell of the Methodist Church - up and down their road, and when they saw him they forgot everything else and ran forward to embrace Ennis. They pulled him from the road to the front door. Ennis could have easily refused, but it was their game and he was eager to comply.
“Mom, it’s Dad!” Frannie shouted.
Alma went out of the kitchen wiping her hands on the apron.
“Hallo, Alma.”
“Ennis…girls, go wash your hands, it’s ready.”
Ennis put on the chair the bag Jack had given him for his few dirty clothes.
“I’ve phoned…you’re fired, so don’t go to the ranch tomorrow.”
“I’ll call the boss later, don’t worry.”
“I’m always worry about you, you’re so irresponsible.”
“I had to go.”
“You had to stay here, too. I’ve already told you what I think, you can stay here until you find a new place.“
“Alma, you cannot make a decision like this so easily!”
“I’ve thought about it for a long time. Things here aren’t going right. You’re a stranger to me now. My Ennis was different, he wouldn’t leave his family to go fishing, or to go to Texas.
Alma wasn’t crying. Ennis had imagined a reaction like that; instead she was rigid and determined.
“I’ve always worked every day for all of you, I think I’m a good father to the girls.”
“But you’re not a good husband, we haven’t done anything together for years. I’m always alone at the school events. You’re ashamed to be seen with me anywhere.”
Ennis sat on the couch, a hand heavy on his forehead.
She was right, in a way; he was ashamed of Alma not because she was ugly or stupid, but because she was the second choice. Logical, necessary but always second, compared to …Jack.
And with Jack, he was ashamed, too, because he was the first. The first and the last, something he was proud of. There was no other man in the world who could ignite his desire.
But Ennis was defeated and he knew it. Looking at Alma he saw a choice already made.
“Let’s find a way. For the girls.”
“You‘ll see them, I don’t want to separate you. They’re old enough to understand. I’ll give you some furniture when you another place to live.”
Ennis glanced around the room where he lived for so many years. There were memories to keep, although the house was so insignificant.
The walls, still with a few green stains, even after a double painting; the cheap furniture that Ennis himself had adapted to the small room; the broken frame of the window and …something new, a red heater, shining with its bold colour.
He pointed at it.
“What is that for? There’s already a heater in this apartment.”
“It’s for next winter’s cold.”
“We’re short of money and now there’s going to be a divorce to pay for….why did you buy it?”
“It’s free. Monroe heard that Frannie has had a bad cold and he took it from the store. A customer said it wasn’t working, but it just needed a new cable; I only paid for the repair.”
“Your boss thinks my daughters live in a refrigerator?”
“He’s a kind person.”
It wasn’t the first time Monroe had been very sympathetic toward Alma, but until now it had been all about flexibility at work, less hours if the girls were ill, or the gift of a few cans of food that had gotten damaged and so couldn’t be sold.
“I’ll find a place where they’ll always be warm, they don’t need Monroe’s charity.”
“You’re simply envious of him because he has his own shop.”
“I don’t want him around my girls.”
“We’ll see, Ennis. You don’t rule this house any more.”
It would be easy to get angry, now, from the bitterness of Alma’s words, lose control and throw that damned heater out of the window.
A man refused by his wife wasn’t a man any more. Ennis imagined people talking about him in town and at work, glances from under their hats, conversations behind his back; Ennis imagined hard weeks to come.
Ennis, don’t leave me tonight…
Jack’s voice, Jack’s pain…if he was free from Alma he could accept a piece of that pain, lift from Jack’s shoulders a little of that burden he couldn’t forget.
Ennis went out without a response, slamming the door, headed to the ranch to talk to the foreman - he surely had to keep his job, now that his mind was growing an idea.
TBC
Chapter 7
This is a story I wrote in Italian more or less 2 years ago, it’s my the first BBM fiction, since then I started writing in English directly.
This is an AU settled in normal time and place, different from my Bluebells and Roses.
Disclaimer: the talented Mrs. Proulx owns the original story and characters.
Special thanks again to my dear beta Sam, her work is more useful than ever here.
Sorry for the delay, I spent August away from pc plus me & Sam’s servers had some trouble in accepting each other’s mails.
Thanks to all of you who left a comment and thanks thanks thanks for your patience, too.
Coming home wasn’t so hard for Ennis, compared to his travel South.
He wasn’t tired so he drove all night, with a two hour stop just before dawn to sleep a little.
He reached Riverton on Sunday morning; his girls were riding their bicycles - bought at the second hand charity sell of the Methodist Church - up and down their road, and when they saw him they forgot everything else and ran forward to embrace Ennis. They pulled him from the road to the front door. Ennis could have easily refused, but it was their game and he was eager to comply.
“Mom, it’s Dad!” Frannie shouted.
Alma went out of the kitchen wiping her hands on the apron.
“Hallo, Alma.”
“Ennis…girls, go wash your hands, it’s ready.”
Ennis put on the chair the bag Jack had given him for his few dirty clothes.
“I’ve phoned…you’re fired, so don’t go to the ranch tomorrow.”
“I’ll call the boss later, don’t worry.”
“I’m always worry about you, you’re so irresponsible.”
“I had to go.”
“You had to stay here, too. I’ve already told you what I think, you can stay here until you find a new place.“
“Alma, you cannot make a decision like this so easily!”
“I’ve thought about it for a long time. Things here aren’t going right. You’re a stranger to me now. My Ennis was different, he wouldn’t leave his family to go fishing, or to go to Texas.
Alma wasn’t crying. Ennis had imagined a reaction like that; instead she was rigid and determined.
“I’ve always worked every day for all of you, I think I’m a good father to the girls.”
“But you’re not a good husband, we haven’t done anything together for years. I’m always alone at the school events. You’re ashamed to be seen with me anywhere.”
Ennis sat on the couch, a hand heavy on his forehead.
She was right, in a way; he was ashamed of Alma not because she was ugly or stupid, but because she was the second choice. Logical, necessary but always second, compared to …Jack.
And with Jack, he was ashamed, too, because he was the first. The first and the last, something he was proud of. There was no other man in the world who could ignite his desire.
But Ennis was defeated and he knew it. Looking at Alma he saw a choice already made.
“Let’s find a way. For the girls.”
“You‘ll see them, I don’t want to separate you. They’re old enough to understand. I’ll give you some furniture when you another place to live.”
Ennis glanced around the room where he lived for so many years. There were memories to keep, although the house was so insignificant.
The walls, still with a few green stains, even after a double painting; the cheap furniture that Ennis himself had adapted to the small room; the broken frame of the window and …something new, a red heater, shining with its bold colour.
He pointed at it.
“What is that for? There’s already a heater in this apartment.”
“It’s for next winter’s cold.”
“We’re short of money and now there’s going to be a divorce to pay for….why did you buy it?”
“It’s free. Monroe heard that Frannie has had a bad cold and he took it from the store. A customer said it wasn’t working, but it just needed a new cable; I only paid for the repair.”
“Your boss thinks my daughters live in a refrigerator?”
“He’s a kind person.”
It wasn’t the first time Monroe had been very sympathetic toward Alma, but until now it had been all about flexibility at work, less hours if the girls were ill, or the gift of a few cans of food that had gotten damaged and so couldn’t be sold.
“I’ll find a place where they’ll always be warm, they don’t need Monroe’s charity.”
“You’re simply envious of him because he has his own shop.”
“I don’t want him around my girls.”
“We’ll see, Ennis. You don’t rule this house any more.”
It would be easy to get angry, now, from the bitterness of Alma’s words, lose control and throw that damned heater out of the window.
A man refused by his wife wasn’t a man any more. Ennis imagined people talking about him in town and at work, glances from under their hats, conversations behind his back; Ennis imagined hard weeks to come.
Ennis, don’t leave me tonight…
Jack’s voice, Jack’s pain…if he was free from Alma he could accept a piece of that pain, lift from Jack’s shoulders a little of that burden he couldn’t forget.
Ennis went out without a response, slamming the door, headed to the ranch to talk to the foreman - he surely had to keep his job, now that his mind was growing an idea.
TBC