I have seen the light!
I certainly feel better :) I did a lot of thinking last night after reading
saymorre's lovely comment and finally realized the obvious. I need to stop focusing so much on finding that perfect guy because all I need to be happy is myself and my thoughts. I realized that I only looked forward to even days because those were the days I had a class with him. How ridiculous, when every day needs to be seen as a beautiful gift! I know it sounds so cheesy, but oh well XD
I had to laugh at myself today because I actually reconsidered trying out for volleyball for next year all due to my fear for being the bad person on the team that everyone talks about. Have I learned nothing from all this? Why can't I just say, screw them, I will be an allower. I will let them do what they want and do the same. Besides, I can manifest the ability to get better and learn, let alone make the team. Although, I don't know what I'll do if I decide to change schools after this year...which is kinda scary, because try-outs are pretty soon. God, why do they have to be now when it doesn't start until next fall?!
And yay for a completely new set of icons!