I've FINALLY come to a realization
And that realization is . . . it's no longer worth it. I am not going to divulge into details about the circumstances that I am talking about (even though Christine should kinda know what I am talking about) because I don't want to put my whole depressing life details out there for everyone to read, even though I do it all the time here :-). Anyway, I just need to get off my ass and try to live my life instead of sitting on my ass and sulking about the failure of the marriage or my parents who are getting on my LAST nerve and all of the other shit in life. Ashley is moving on with her life, and I need to do so as well. It will get easier when I start working in 2 weeks and I will FINALLY be getting out of the house and having some money. I am getting paid a $1.10 more an hour then I did at my last job and $.60 more than my previously highest paying job. So, I should have a little spending money after bills and I am going to drive to Charleston (which is about an hour away from me) and go to the battery or whatever. Hopefully, I will make some friends at my job and do something with them. But, anyway . . . I will be able to go see theatre in Savannah, Hilton Head, Charleston, etc. as well. Also, once I get my insurance, I am going to get back on anti-depression medication and possibly see someone, so that will help a little with the depression right there. I just want to be happy and no one can do it for me. Only I can do it for myself and I need to do it quick-like. Also, the hospital I am going to be working at has a gym that employees can use for free, so I am going to be taking advantage of that every work day, as well as my hip-hop abs dvd that I have. I have only done one session of hip-hop abs due to the holidays and all that food. But, after January 1st, I am going to try my best to do it everyday (maybe take Sunday off). My goal is to lose 45lbs by Apri, so when I go to NYC I won't be all fat and sluggish when I go to all of those shows, the tourist attractions, and when I FINALLY meet up with a group of folks I have been waiting three years to meet. 2008 starts a new chapter in my life and I am going to try my hardest and make it worth it. **VICTORY YELL**